When I woke up this morning, not for one moment did I think I would find myself in my darkened kitchen kneeling on the floor in a sea of hot chocolate and porcelain, one hand tangled in Aria's sweet smelling wet hair and the other slowly gliding over her thigh and up to her waist as my lips worked against hers.

It never even crossed my mind that this could be a possible ending to my night but now that it was happening I don't think I would have changed a moment of my day if this is where it was leading.

I thanked every deity I could that I had arrived home when I had.

Her scream had sent me into a panic but when I saw her there in the midst of the mess in absolute dark I almost wanted to laugh, that was until I saw the look in her eyes. She genuinely looked scared and it sent me into action, not hesitating to lift her up and place her away from the danger of cutting her tiny feet.

When my hands had slipped away from her I felt a longing to slip them back and for a moment I thought I saw the same longing reflected in her eyes. It had been the first real reaction I had gotten from her since earlier in the day when I had caught her chat with Darcy.

Sneaking about in my own home wasn't something I did but when I heard them talking I couldn't help it and the words leaving my daughters mouth both surprised me and made me happy. And then I went and made the comment to Aria thinking it would be funny or even cute but all it did was cause her to hide from me.

But not now.

No, now she was here, in my arms kissing me back just as fiercely as I was kissing her. I hadn't even noticed I was moving forward angling her backwards and off her knees onto her back while I slowly moved myself to straddling her right here in my kitchen. Both of us ignoring the liquid being soaked up by our clothing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thankful for having cleared up most of the glass so there was less of a risk of hurting ourselves.

The same part of my mind thanked her for spilling the cocoa because it was that very chocolate that had sparked the intensity in me when she walked back into the kitchen.

It reminded me of the night we had sat up and talked, like friends. The night I had learned a lot more about the woman living in my house then in all the weeks she had been living here prior. It endeared me to her and something in me wanted to protect the broken pieces in her when she reviled her past to me.

So as I sat watching her pick up the pieces of the mug, much like the pieces of herself that someone had left thoughtlessly scattered on the ground, I wanted to stop her. I wanted to do it for her. I wanted to protect her.

And that very thought is what had me pull away from her now, even though ever nerve ending and cell in my body wanted to keep going, keep my forward motion of laying her down and doing every single thing my mind had played over and over again with this insanely beautiful woman who was looking up at my with half closed eyes and a moan of protest leaving her kiss swollen lips.

What the fuck are you doing Styles?!?!

With a heavy sigh I pulled away and rubbed my hand over my face trying to calm myself down.
When I looked at Aria again she was sitting up straighter looking at her hands with a heartbreakingly hurt look on her face.

"Aria..." I began not knowing what I was going to say really. Here she was this woman that a few months ago I couldn't even stand, and now I found myself wanting so badly it hurt but I knew I couldn't. I wouldn't. "I'm sorry, I can't... this-" I waved my hands around aimlessly and kept my eyes on her even though she didn't look up once while I spoke. "It's a... mistake."

Her sharp intake of breath had me wishing I could take my words back but I didn't get the chance to because, faster then I knew she could move, she was up and disappearing into the darkness of my home.

Once again my hand rose up to rub at my face as I groaned in frustration. That wasn't what I meant, damn it.

Slamming my palms down onto the floor and quickly pushing myself up, I decided that I wasn't going to let her hide from me anymore. I was going to make sure she knew what I felt and exactly what I meant. Without a second thought about the flashlight or the mess on my kitchen floor I was out in the hall before taking my stairs two at a time, determined to talk to Aria and thankful for my eyes adjusting to the darkness.

I didn't even have to think about where she was, I knew she was in Jamie's nursery. She always ran to her son. He was her safety, her security. Someone that would never hurt her or leave her. He calmed her nerves, so I knew without a doubt that she would be with him.

And that is precisely where I found her, bent over with her cheek resting on the railing of his crib as she watched her son sleep while stroking his cheek with her finger softly.

It was a precious sight, one that had me almost backing out of the room to allow her the privet moment. I didn't, however, because as much as I loved watching Aria and Jamie interact, a new secret hobby of mine, I wanted to speak with her and fix my mistake much, much more.

As quietly as I could, I made my way across the room until I was standing beside her at the side of Jamie's crib.

I knew she knew I was there but she didn't make any move to indicate it.
"Aria I'm sorry, that wasn't-"

"Please don't say it." Her voice was so soft, so quite I wasn't entirely sure I had heard her say anything at all.

"Say what?" I asked just as gently.

She didn't answer me right away; she just kept her eyes on Jamie's sleeping form, her finger pulling away from his cheek the only movement she made.

I stared at her, almost wishing I could read her mind to be able to understand what she meant but then deciding that maybe I didn't want to know. Maybe it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

She slowly turned her head, her clear wide green eyes staring back at mine pleadingly. "Don't apologize or say it was a mistake. Just... let's just..." She licked her lips and looked down with a sigh. "Just don't say it was a mistake please."

And that was precisely what I did want to hear.

It was the first sliver of hope I had that she felt whatever it was that was going on between us. She felt it, and she was scared of it. I glanced around the room before looking back at her face that was still tilted down.

I knew I had to tell her the reason why I had stopped, now more than before I felt the urgency to do so.

"It was a mistake Aria."

Her intake of breath was sharp and a sad smirk slid across her lips as she stood straight and shook her head, her lips parting so she could speak but I cut her off as I ducked down to be able to look her in the eyes.

"It was a mistake because you deserve better than that." I said offering her a weak smile as her face contorted into confusion.

"You deserve better than a quickie on my kitchen floor Aria. I've..." I squeezed my eyes tightly and chuckled. "...imagined kissing you hundreds of times. Of taking my time and showing you how you make me feel, even thought, I have to be honest with you I don't fully understand it myself. I've imagined touching you and feeling you but that-" I opened my eyes and stared intensely into her eyes. Wonder and confusion and... something else I couldn't quite pinpoint shone back at me. "That wasn't how I wanted any of that to happen. That would make me just as bad as Mark and I don't want to be in the same category as that bastard. I don't want to be like him. I don't want a careless fling for a moment. I want more and I think you deserve more too. So, yes it was a mistake because when I finally do get to that point with you, and trust me I certainly do want to get there with you, I want it to be slow. I want to take my time. I want to spoil you like you deserve and I can't have done that on the fucking kitchen floor in a puddle of hot chocolate."

I was slightly out of breath by this point but my eyes never left hers. I wanted every ounce of passion and intensity I felt behind those words to sink in so she understood exactly what I had meant downstairs. I needed her to understand that she wasn't a mistake.

"Harry..." I swear for a moment I saw a slight tug on her lips but it quickly evened out and her eyes dropped once more. My own smile fell as an odd shift happened in the room. I wasn't sure what it was until she spoke again. "I can't."

My brow furrowed, utter confusion taking over. Did she not just sound next to tears when I first walked into the room? Was I reading the signs wrong? Had I just made an arse out of myself?

I chuckled humorlessly while rubbing my forehead. What the hell was going on here? "I have to say love, I'm a little lost here. You throwing up mixed signals."

She looked over at Jamie and sighed before speaking again, but the glance she threw at her son had me feeling like I knew where this was going.

She was running.

"It's not just you and me, is it? I mean this, whatever it is, if we did this... it's not just you and me that it effects. What about Darcy? What about Jamie?" She stepped away from me and the one step had my heart pounding because it was the first step I knew she would take in her flee from me.

If there was one thing I had learned about Aria, it was that she was a runner. She ran when things were uncomfortable, or in this case hid. She was hiding behind Jamie and Darcy because she was scared.

"Aria, fucking hell, do you think I don't know that?" My words may have been rough but my tone was still soft, pleading almost. "Do you think that I didn't think about my daughter and how this would affect her, or even how it would affect Jamie? Do you think I'm such a bad father that I wouldn't think this through?"

"You're a good dad Harry, a great one really, but I can't put my son on the line because I have a crush on my boss. That's all this is Harry."

I almost wanted to laugh at her words. I knew... I fucking knew she didn't actually mean them.
The way she responded to me earlier was proof enough that this was anything but a passing crush. There were emotions behind that kiss.

"A crush?!?! Are you joking right now?" I was barely hanging on to my sanity as it was.

This woman was driving me mad.

"What do you want from me?" She asked her voice slightly higher in pitch.

We both snapped our mouths shut and turned to the crib as Jamie shifted and whined before turning onto his side and falling back to sleep.

Aria's eyes caught mine as she nodded towards the door.

As soon as she had gently closed the nursery door I had her up against the wall securely trapped between myself and the wall with my forearms resting on either side of her head as I leant down until our noses were almost touching.

"Are you going to tell me that the way you feel right now, right this second with me here like this, is just a crush Aria? Because I can tell you that this is no bloody crush to me."

Even as I spoke to her, my head was swam with the sweet smell drifting of her being and the warmth of her breath crashing into my slightly parted lips.

As close as I was I managed to not touch her, I didn't trust myself to. I didn't trust my body to override what little sanity I had left and finish what I had started downstairs. I had certainly been waiting long enough for that little escapade and the threat of not getting this chance again was making my control wear thin.

"Harry, please." Her trembling voice met my ears while my eyes took in her tense face.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Harry..."

"I promise, Aria."

She didn't say anything but she turned her head to look down the still darkened hall.

I stood there not so patiently, watching every slight emotion pass over her features. I could tell she was working everything over in her mind, battling every thought with herself.

And then she looked back at me with a blank face.

"Harry..."

I didn't need to hear anymore.

Like I had been burned I was quickly on the other side of the hall with my back pressed as tightly to the wall as it could get.

She didn't move, didn't say anything else but I could feel her eyes on me.

My hands found their way into my hair as I sighed. I knew when to cut my losses.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as I pushed off the wall and began to walk towards my room.

Silly girl. I thought as I smiled down at my feet and shook my head. She thought because I was walking away right now I was giving up.

How little she knew me.

I was only letting go of the battle for tonight. Because whether she believed it or not, she was worth the fight and I wasn't going to give up because she was a little frightened at the idea.

I turned around at that thought and mad my way back to her, not stopping until I was so close I could feel her body heat warming my skin through our clothes.

It would only be fair to warn her.

"I'm not going to let you run from me Aria." Her eyes widened at my words but I just kept on smiling at her. I knew there was something there and I wasn't going to let her fear stop us.

My hand lifted up, hesitating for a moment before gently pushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear.

And then I leaned in, just to see what would happen, just to test what I already knew to be true.

As I knew she would, Aria's eyes closed and her lips parted in anticipation. It happened so instinctually I don't think she even noticed... but I did and it made me smile as I tilted my head up and kissed her forehead. Not kissing her like she expected was probably the most difficult thing I had to do.

"Go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

Notes

oooo more fun fun fun that makes me and any other Haria shippers, in the words of Phil Robertson (Duck Dynasty people) "happy happy happy".

I may or may not post the next chapter tonight... we'll see ;)
<3