I had never actively given anyone the cold shoulder until now.

It was a lot harder then it seemed, especially when I could see the little pouty looks Harry gave, that he thought I was unaware of, whenever I ignored him or shot down any form of friendliness from him.

I felt bad but also like I was within reason. We would never be good at being friends. It just didn't work for us if our past experience at it was any indication.

Harry was out today, apparently there was some mandatory meeting that, according to Niall's gossiping tendencies, I was informed was specifically for him.

I was given the impression it had something to do with our little blow out at the event a few days ago that turned out to be some big schmooze fest for sponsors for One Direction's next tour.

Imagine my embarrassment at seeing the headlines talking about the mystery woman who issued the slap heard round the world. Me being said mystery woman.

Niall had assured me that no one knew who I was and miraculously Harry had kept his trap shut about it. I had a feeling it had a lot to do with the fact that keeping me a secret was also keeping Darcy a secret. Apparently the boys where pleading the fifth on the whole thing, or you know what ever the British equivalent was.

Needless to say with Harry's absence today it had been a rather relaxed day with just the kids and me.

I sighed and pulled my hair over my shoulder as I laid Jamie down on the blanket in the living room and took a set on the sofa. Darcy laid out on her belly near the blanket at my feet coloring a picture she had been drawing all morning of a group of stick figures in various colors.

"What's that baby?" I asked looking down at her picture.

"A painting." She answered in a sing song voice as she kept coloring, her legs kicking the air happily.

I chuckled at her vague answer. "Alrighty then."

"Aria, does Jamie have a daddy?"

The question caught me so off guarded I nearly spit out the sip of water I had just taken. My eyes widened as I looked down at the top of the little girls head. She hadn't even looked up at me while asking it, completely unaware of the internal damage that question brought upon me.

To Darcy it was just an innocent question but to me it was something I didn't think I would have to talk about in a very long time and a bit of a sore spot.

"Um... n-" I had to clear my throat as my voice cracked. "No honey. Jamie just has a mommy."

"Oh." She said like it was no big deal with a head tilt and a shrug. "I don't have a mummy but I have a daddy."

I felt my breath hitch. This was such a sad conversation to be having, let alone with a four year old.

"I know!" She suddenly spun around into a sitting position and smiled up at me. "Daddy can be Jamie's daddy and you can be my mummy. We can share. Nana says sharing is nice to do."

My eyes widened even more, so much so I was sure if my eyeballs could pop out of my skull they would at this point. An inhuman sound, some cross between a gasp and a small sob, escaped my mouth before I could cover it up with my hand.

This poor child had no idea what she was saying; she had no clue what her words were doing to my heart. It was all so simple in the world of a toddler.

I had to swallow the lump in the throat twice before I could speak again. "Sweetie, I don't... it's not..."

How do you explain to a child that things don't work like that? That I couldn't simple just be her mommy.

"I'm back."

I had never been happier to hear Harry's voice in my life.

Darcy, in true child form, sprung up from her spot, all thoughts of our conversation forgotten at the arrival of her father.

I, on the other hand, felt my head and my heart reel at the interaction I had just had with the little girl.

The whole Jamie/daddy thing was always something that was tough for me but to have Darcy the embodiment of a child missing a parent, asking for the missing piece, from myself none-the-less, killed me.

Would that be Jamie someday asking for a father?

"Aria, are you alright?" Harry's voice sounded from the doorway that leads to the foyer. He looked genuinely concerned at what I was sure was a stunned expression on my face.

My mouth must have opened and closed about a dozen times before I just nodded. I jumped up from my spot, leaned over and picked Jamie up and dashed out of the room ignoring Harry calling my name once again.

I was so determined to hide in my room that I didn't notice Niall standing near the door.

"Ari?"

I paused, not looking at him, with widened eyes down cast.

"Ari, are you alright?"

"No... yes... I don't know."

Niall approached me; placing his hand over the one I had resting on Jamie's back and took in my startled face.

"What happened?"

I glanced behind me into the lounge where I could see Darcy showing off her picture to Harry. Harry nodded along to whatever the little girl was saying but his eyes were glued to me.

"Um... Why don't we talk upstairs?" I said looking back at the blonde and tilting my chin in the direction of the stairs.

As soon as we were in my room I laid Jamie down and began to pace.

"Aria, you're making me dizzy. What happened?"

"Darcy asked me to be her mommy." I blurted out.

Niall's eyes widened dangerously. I somehow felt vindicated now, like I wasn't overreacting like I feared.

"Yup. That was my reaction too." I informed gesturing towards his face.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. You ad Harry got here in that moment, thank god." I was still thanking my lucky stars for that one.

I continued my pacing and this time Niall said nothing, probably because he now understood why I was in the need to do so.

As I passed my bed for the hundredth time I glanced over to see Jamie giggling at me.

My baby.

Who didn't have a daddy.

And Darcy downstairs who didn't have a mommy.

Since Jamie had been born I had tried to keep all thoughts of his father out of my head, they were unneeded. Besides dwelling on him wouldn't change anything. The only thing he turned out to be good for was giving me Jamie.

But now I wondered if maybe Jamie needed him... or at least someone who was worthy of that title.

My biggest fear was always screwing Jamie up in some way... of being a bad parent. Was I doing that by doing this alone?

Was I a bad mother?

"Aria." Niall cooed as he stood up from where he had been seated to wrap me up in his arms. "Don't cry."

I hadn't even realized I had been crying. I felt like such an idiot for doing so.

"Am I a bad mom?" I asked the question I feared the answer for.

"What?! No. Of course not. You're a great mum, Aria."

"I'm doing this all wrong though." I quietly sobbed out.

Niall sighed and held me tighter, placing a kiss on my forehead. "No you're not."

I wanted to argue more but something at the door caught my eye. It was a flash through the small sliver of open space but I was almost positive I saw dark curls and a blur of green.

I pulled away from Niall and walked towards the door, not sure if I was embarrassed or angry that Harry had been watching.

Maybe a little of both.

I caught him just as he was making his way down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" I asked roughly wiping the wetness from my cheeks.

"Um... I was... ugh..." He stuttered out looking everywhere but at me.

I narrowed my eyes; I could feel Niall moving in behind me to look over my shoulder.

Harry finally glanced up at me, then behind me at Niall before looking back at me and swallowing harshly.

"I'm sorry. I was worried about you. You looked pale and just... I wanted to make sure everything was ok. But it looks like you're well taken care of." His voice dropped a bit towards the end and I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear the last bit but I did.

I didn't say anything, just stared at him while he squirmed under my gaze.

"So.. um... yea. I'm going to check on Darcy. Sorry." Harry finally managed to choke out as he began to turn.

I did the same, choosing to forget the fact that he had essentially been spying on me.

"Aria."

I turned around slowly and leaned out the doorway to glance back at Harry who was looking at his hand resting on the railing.

"You're a very good mum. Don't ever doubt that. Jamie is very lucky to have you."

Our eyes met for a second, and the sincerity in his eyes kind of through me off. It was something new for us.

And then he rushed down the stairs leaving me once again stunned by something someone with the last name of Styles had said to me in less than an hour.

I would be lying if the stamen hadn't made my cheeks heat up and my heart race a bit. The odd thing was Niall had just said the same thing but I hadn't reacted that way to his words.

What was Harry Styles doing to me?

Notes

alright so yea... thoughts? I hope you guys like this. Let me know <3