Chapter 2:
You know that feeling you get when your on a rollercoaster, the feelings of numbness, like time was standing still and the moves you made felt like slow motion. That’s how I feel right now, standing in front of the doors to the hospital room.
From when I left my house, to racing up the steps, to running down the hallway, and dodging the doctors and nurses. Through the little window in the door, the sight I saw not only brought back memories, but also made me feel alone, the sight made my heart shatter and my stomach drop.
My father and sister sat in the seats by the bed with their heads in their hands, their shoulders shaking from the tears falling from their eyes. The monitor by the bed was going at an unsteady pace and the person in the bed did not look like my little brother.
The color was removed from his skin and his once almost full head of hair was gone. His chest rose and fell at an unsteady pace; his blue eyes were fill of tears and sadness. The blue completely gone, replaced by a gray orange color. The bags under his eyes would make you think he hasn’t slept in days.
The door suddenly opened and my body was drawn into somebody’s arms, they cried into my shoulder, but my eyes stayed fixed on Ronan. My mind slipped blank and all I could see was my mother lying in the bed in the same position. I remember the last words she said to me, the last words we said to each other—
Flashback
The only sound in the room was the heart monitor and the heavy breathing coming from the body that lay lifeless in front of me. My father was sitting emotionless against the wall in the corner of the room with his hand in his hair and my sister was shaking in her seat next to me.
My mother’s once bright blue eyes, which were now gray, met my eyes as we both stayed silent. I didn’t dare let a tear fall, as I was to stay strong. She patted the spot next to her and I took off my shoes, climbing under the thin hospital blanket laying my head on her chest. She kissed my forehead and ran her slender fingers through my long brown hair. We didn’t say anything, just took in each other’s presence.
Her hoarse voice made me shiver when she said, “I hear you singing in your room, you’re quite lovely,” she took a deep breath and coughed and then continued, “sing to me baby.”
I looked into her eyes, than moved my head to her ear and took a shaky breath before letting the words I’ve wanted to say come out as a tune, “come on baby with me, we’re gonna fly away, from here,” the monitor got slower and her eyelids drooped. I placed my forehead on hers and sang the line over, “come on baby with me, we’re gonna fly away, from here.”
Her eyes opened for a mirror second as we both whispered to each other, “I love you to the moon and back.”
The last thing I remember was her monitor going flat and the screams that escaped my lips.
Flashback Over
My shoulders were being shaken and I blinked my eyes multiple times, focusing them on Paris in front of me.
“He wants you,” she whispered while taking her seat again.
I removed my shoes and climbed under the sheets next to Ronan. He laid his head on my chest as I stroked his hair. I moved my mouth to his ear and let out a shaky breath. “Come on baby with me, we’re gonna fly away, from here.” His eyes drooped and his tiny hand loosened around my finger.
I let the tears stream freely down my cheeks as I whispered, “you were the best 4 years.” And then his monitor went flat.
The tears still freely flowed down my cheeks as I walked in the middle of the road. I kept my eyes on the yellow orange line making my feet walk in a straight line down them. It was now dark out, I had no clue the time, once that monitor went flat, I couldn’t bear to see the faces of my family or my dead brother so I bolted out of the place and was not walking in the middle of an empty road in the middle of nowhere.
Memories were flashing in front of my eyes, both of my mother and brother, even the times where I was truly happy with my friends. It’s like in a moment, everything in your life is going great and in the next second, your world comes crashing down. I shivered as the wind swept through my messy brown hair and kept walking down the street.
I couldn’t even properly think clearly, my mind was clouded with my thoughts and memories, my feelings that I’ve kept bottled up. Why do bad things happen to good people? I could see headlights in the distance, but ignored them and kept walking.
I heard the sound of a car coming, but I continued forward. Who cares if I get ran over, I’m not really living for anyone. I lifted my heard and saw coming straight at me. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact, for my body to be jolted forward, for the pain, but I felt nothing.
I opened my eyes once, I heard the words come out of the person standing in front of me mouth, “Juliet?” a husky voice questioned.
“Mr. Styles?”
Silence filled the air as we both looked at each other with questioning eyes. I definitely wasn’t going to break the awkward silence so I was glad when Mr. Styles spoke first.
“Juliet, if you don’t mind me asking. What are you doing walking down an old road in the middle of nowhere this late night?”
I was quickly trying to come up with an excuse, I don’t need someone’s pity, no one knew about my mother and no one will know about my brother and I was hoping it stays that way.
“I was, erm well…” the atmosphere was so heavy you could probably stab through it with a knife, “the real question is why are you driving down an old road in the middle of nowhere at this time of night.” I did a miniature victory dance inside my head and mentally patted myself on the back for using my witty comeback.
“Touché,” he chuckled walking away from his car to stand about a foot in front of me. “Do you have any idea where you’re going?” he raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips.
“I was just going to continue walking down this road,” I shrugged and a sigh escaped my lips.
“Well,” he started, “if you continue down this road, you’re going to end up in Yorkshire and I don’t think that was your intention, was it?”
Yorkshire, huh. I shook my head and put my hands in the pockets of my jeans shifting on my feet awkwardly.
“It’s probably a few good miles until we’re back in Cheshire, do you have a ride?”
I once again shook my head. Why do I have to be so shy?
“Well, I can’t just leave you out here like this,” he started back towards his car, as I stood there dumbfounded. “C’mon,” Mr. Styles said waving his hand towards his car, “I don’t bit.” And with that I got in the passenger’s seat of his car.
The faint sound of music was playing on the radio while I looked out the window watching the dark trees go by, the headlights illuminating the wilderness around us. The silence was slowly growing awkward while I sat fiddling with my thumbs.
“So,” Mr. Styles said once again saving us from silence. “Tell me about yourself Juliet.” He kept his eyes on the road as he tapped his long fingers on the steering wheel, awaiting my answer.
“Nothing much to say,” I mumbled chewing on my bottom lip.
“There has to be something,” he emphasized the word ‘something’ while his eyes flickered over to me for a second.
“I’m a pretty boring person then,” I hoped we could just drop it because I don’t enjoy talking about myself.
He seemed to get the point and stopped talking. He turned up the radio just as a song I didn’t recognize finished. Then abruptly the song that’s been in my thoughts came on; “Ronan” by Taylor Swift blasted through the speakers sending a shiver down my spine.
Ronan. My brother. Is dead. It’s like it totally slipped my mind. He’s gone. Forever.
Come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here, you were my best four years.
I shut my eyes, the thoughts of Ronan coming back.
Flowers pile up in the worst way no one knows what to say about a beautiful boy who is dead.
A single tear slid down my cheek as I quickly wiped it away.
And it’s about to be Halloween you could be anything you wanted if you were still here.
Spiderman. Spiderman was Ronan’s favourite costume.
And what if I’m standing in your closet, trying to talk to you
My mom. I try to talk to her all the time.
And what if I kept the hammy downs you won’t grow into
Another tear.
And what I really thought some miracle would see us through, but what if the only miracle was getting one moment with you
Another tear and a deep shaky breath.
Come on baby with me, we’re gonna fly away from here, you were my best four years
Another tear. Memories. All memories. “Stop the car,” I said suddenly.
Mr. Styles looked at me weirdly, “You said your house was another four blocks away?”
“I know what I said, stop the car. Now.” He did as I said and I stepped out of the car slamming the door while walking away.
His car drove away and I let the tears fall down my face. I looked up at the sky as I let the most high-pitched scream flow out of my mouth. I’m alone.

Notes

Selena Gomes = Juliet