A Beautiful Affair
Chapter 19
Chapter 19:
Juliet's POV
I sat with my head in my hands tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. The only sound was the ticking of the wall clock on the wall right of me. The TV was black and showed my reflection in the semi dark room. My face looked stressed and my brow was frowned. My lips were slightly pouted and formed a straight line. My head dropped down to my lap and I folded my hands above my knees.
After Niall said that I started rethinking everything. Would he call off the wedding for me? Would he ever go public with me? Am I just his toy…? I flinched at the last question that rolled through my mind. I'm not his toy... am I?
I squeezed my eyes shut and tears spilled over rolling down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away. I didn't want to move. More tears kept rolling down my cheeks, but I didn't make a sound. It pained me to think this was all a game to him, that I didn't even mean anything to him.
I groaned and threw my head back against the couch cushion, I've been in this secret relationship for about two weeks and already have more feelings than I should have for Harry. I shouldn't care this much...it doesn't matter if this is just a fling. But I couldn't help the aching I felt in my heart to see my future without Harry. This is more than a like...more than a crush...I don't love him do I? No… I don't love him, that’s not possible to love someone so fast.
I starred at the white ceiling raking over my thoughts and questions trying to get them in order. My tears hadn't subsided, but kept freely falling.
I was snapped out of my daze by a raspy voice coming from the living room doors. "Juliet?" Harry questioned stepping into the room.
My hands quickly flew to my cheeks rubbing at them trying to wipe the evidence away that I had been crying.
"Jules..." Harry cooed wrapping his large hands around my wrists and gently pulling them away. My head was lifted from the back of the couch and strong fingers wrapped around my chin. "Have you been crying...?" he asked, worry spreading across his soft features.
I couldn't really say I wasn't crying because the sobs I've been holding back escaped my lips and my dry tears were replaced with new ones.
He frowned and pulled me into his hard chest. "Shhh…" he cooed, stroking my hair and leaving multiple kissed across my hairline. "What’s wrong?" he whispered into my ear, but I held back the words I've been going through in my mind about the marriage and replaced them with a shake of my head.
He didn't say anything else, just kept rocking me back and forth in his arms. Little did he know I wasn't just crying, because of my family, because of the hate I receive at school, because of the messed up life I once lived. I wasn't crying because of those simple things compared to what I was crying about at the moment. I was crying because when I was eleven, I wrote a letter to my future self saying, "don't fall in love", and I had accomplished that small command up until now. I've fallen in love. And the worst part is, I'm afraid he doesn't share those same feelings with me.
"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?" Harry cooed into my ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down my spine.
One of his arms was draped around my shoulders and the other held my hand rubbing soothing circles across my palm. My head lay in the crook of his neck, and the air around me was heavy. My tears had subsided and my breathing regained it's original pace. My head felt like someone was sitting on the side of it and my eyes burned.
No one had come in to check up on us and it had at least been an hour. I wanted to straight up tell him what I was thinking about, my feelings but the only thing I could get out were "nothing." His grip around my shoulders released and he lifted my head from his shoulder.
I sat upright and my head slightly spun, but I shrugged it off. My head fell to my lap, but Harry was quick to place his fingers under my chin and gently lift my head up to look in to his green eyes. "Juliet, please tell me what’s wrong." Harry pleaded his eyes getting a bit misty.
"I just..." I stopped myself from continuing on and scanned his face. The only emotion he was showing was pure worry and sorrow. I shook my head and smiled slightly "I'm just a tad sad about...my family that's all." I watched as most of the worry vanished from his face and was replaced by...relief?
"That’s normal to be sad about your family" Harry smiled. His arms pulled me into a hug and I loosely wrapped my arms around his back. He squeezed me tight and I lightly did it back. "Come on" Harry chuckled into my ear "squeeze like ya mean it." I giggled and squeezed harder. "That's my girl" Harry whispered into my ear.
We continued hugging and Harry continued telling me cheeky things into my ear. I tried to listen to the conversation he was having with me, but my mind drifted back to all the questions running through my mind. Would he...would he stop the wedding for me?
"Let's get you up to bed," Harry stated while standing up and stretching his hand out to me.
"This is my bed" I countered "the boys are taking mine and Paris's room remember?" I watched as Harry bit his lip and scrunched his eyebrows, thinking.
"Hold on" Harry told me while walking out of the living room.
Alright then, I laid my back against the cushion and squeezed my eyes shut. My hands placed against my temples and started rubbing. My head is pounding. I heard footsteps coming toward the living room and I quickly removed my hands from my head and sat up, I didn't want Harry to worry about me. The living room door opened and in came Harry with a mass amount of pillows and blankets. I raised an eyebrow and he smirked.
"Paris will be sleeping with the boys tonight" he chucked the items on the ground by the TV and faced me once more.
"What" my eyes went wide and Harry nodded "and I'll be sleeping with you" Harry stated while plopping next to me on the couch.
"How...and she just?" Harry chuckled at my confusion.
"I told her you were a bit down about your family and wanted someone one to talk to."
"And she let you?"
He nodded "She will probably be sleeping with Louis tonight anyway."
I cringed and sudden guilt washed over me. "Are you okay with him sleeping in your bed?" I asked softly.
Harry’s eyes flicked from his lap and over to me, a smile spread across his face and he pulled me close to him. "Yea, as long as I get to sleep next to you."
I smiled weakly at him and set my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply. This is wrong, I kept repeating in my head over and over. But for some reason that thought didn't make me pull back from Harry, it made me snuggle deeper into his chest. 'He's about to get married' rang through my ears but it didn't make me confront him about it and make him call off the wedding, it made me wrap my arms around his stomach and hold on for dear life. I wasn't just 'cuddling', I was hanging on and hoping he wouldn't let me go.
**
I lay with my nose pressed against Harry’s chest and his legs tangled with mine. His light snores drifted through my ears and I inhaled his scent, sighing deeply. We were on the couch squished together. Everyone else in the house had gone to bed.
Harry’s grip on my waist tightened a little and I dug deeper into his chest. My thoughts kept drifting back to earlier today with my conversation with Niall. I really just wanted to ask Harry if he was going to go through with the wedding, but I was afraid too. I'm afraid because I don't want to face reality. I don't want to face the harsh truth of Harry telling me he would, that he would go through with the wedding, he would go through getting married to Karen, that he would go through with completely shattering my heart.
I was afraid he wouldn't love me back. I’m afraid that this is all just a phase to him, that I'm just a toy. I'm afraid I'm just a fling and when it's time for him to get married in two weeks he will have already up and dumped my lousy ass. I'm afraid, I'm so afraid it hurts. I don't think I've ever been so attached to something in my life, ever.
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I squeezed my eyes shut. I don't want to be alone again. He's the only person who has ever made me feel wanted. I don't want to go back to feeling useless. My eyes flew open when a sharp pain shot through my head and interrupted my thoughts.
My vision went slightly blurry and my stomach twisted. I pushed away from Harry’s chest and his arms broke lose from my waist. My body fell back from his and onto the wood floor. I jumped up and steadied myself on the coffee table. My vision gained itself back and I bolted out of the living room.
I had caught a glimpse of a frantic Harry jumping off the couch before I left. I threw the door of the bathroom open and slid to the toilet, my fingers clasped around the lid and lifted it up. My hair fell in my face and Harry entered just when I started puking up my guts. I breathed heavily into the toilet and my eyes were squeezed shut. The pain that was in the lower right of my stomach was unbearable and the banging in my head was making my dizzy.
I was sat in Harry’s lap with my legs crossed and Harry’s were crossed under mine. He held my hair back and rubbed soothing circles on my back. "I'm fine now" I mumbled lifting my head up and opening my eyes up, but as soon as I turned my head an inch to face Harry, my stomach twisted again and my vision got blurry again.
I threw my head back over the toilet and vomited again. At this point I wasn't puking up food, I was puking up stomach acid.
"You, are not fine" Harry said sternly "you have been over this toilet for the past two hours. We need to get you to the hospital."
My eyes flew open but I pushed aside the fact that I couldn't see straight. "I'm not going to a hospital," I stated.
"Yes, you are" Harry retorted slightly annoyed.
"I'm not going back to another hospital!" I said loudly, but soon regretted it when more liquid came out my mouth.
"There’s something wrong" Harry stated worriedly. "Karen" he called making me flinch and puke more "Louis!"
Seconds later a frantic Louis and a tired looking Karen ran through the door. Once they took sight of me, their eyes went wide and they started firing questions at both me and Harry. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying anymore because the ringing in my ears out powered all their booming voices.
I felt myself being lifted off the ground and into strong arms. I opened my eyes and saw Harry’s mouth moving, but I couldn't make out the words he was saying. The room started spinning and my vision went blurry. My eyes were getting heavy and my breathing started slowing down. I dropped my head into Harry chest and felt a cold hand press to my warm forehead. All I saw was black dots but I could feel cold air hitting my extremely sweaty body.
"Come on, stay with me" Harry’s raspy voice sounded in my ear. I tried to open my mouth and speak, but when I did, more vomit came out. The last thing I remember were bright lights surrounding my body.
Juliet's POV
I sat with my head in my hands tears threatening to spill onto my cheeks. The only sound was the ticking of the wall clock on the wall right of me. The TV was black and showed my reflection in the semi dark room. My face looked stressed and my brow was frowned. My lips were slightly pouted and formed a straight line. My head dropped down to my lap and I folded my hands above my knees.
After Niall said that I started rethinking everything. Would he call off the wedding for me? Would he ever go public with me? Am I just his toy…? I flinched at the last question that rolled through my mind. I'm not his toy... am I?
I squeezed my eyes shut and tears spilled over rolling down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away. I didn't want to move. More tears kept rolling down my cheeks, but I didn't make a sound. It pained me to think this was all a game to him, that I didn't even mean anything to him.
I groaned and threw my head back against the couch cushion, I've been in this secret relationship for about two weeks and already have more feelings than I should have for Harry. I shouldn't care this much...it doesn't matter if this is just a fling. But I couldn't help the aching I felt in my heart to see my future without Harry. This is more than a like...more than a crush...I don't love him do I? No… I don't love him, that’s not possible to love someone so fast.
I starred at the white ceiling raking over my thoughts and questions trying to get them in order. My tears hadn't subsided, but kept freely falling.
I was snapped out of my daze by a raspy voice coming from the living room doors. "Juliet?" Harry questioned stepping into the room.
My hands quickly flew to my cheeks rubbing at them trying to wipe the evidence away that I had been crying.
"Jules..." Harry cooed wrapping his large hands around my wrists and gently pulling them away. My head was lifted from the back of the couch and strong fingers wrapped around my chin. "Have you been crying...?" he asked, worry spreading across his soft features.
I couldn't really say I wasn't crying because the sobs I've been holding back escaped my lips and my dry tears were replaced with new ones.
He frowned and pulled me into his hard chest. "Shhh…" he cooed, stroking my hair and leaving multiple kissed across my hairline. "What’s wrong?" he whispered into my ear, but I held back the words I've been going through in my mind about the marriage and replaced them with a shake of my head.
He didn't say anything else, just kept rocking me back and forth in his arms. Little did he know I wasn't just crying, because of my family, because of the hate I receive at school, because of the messed up life I once lived. I wasn't crying because of those simple things compared to what I was crying about at the moment. I was crying because when I was eleven, I wrote a letter to my future self saying, "don't fall in love", and I had accomplished that small command up until now. I've fallen in love. And the worst part is, I'm afraid he doesn't share those same feelings with me.
"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?" Harry cooed into my ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down my spine.
One of his arms was draped around my shoulders and the other held my hand rubbing soothing circles across my palm. My head lay in the crook of his neck, and the air around me was heavy. My tears had subsided and my breathing regained it's original pace. My head felt like someone was sitting on the side of it and my eyes burned.
No one had come in to check up on us and it had at least been an hour. I wanted to straight up tell him what I was thinking about, my feelings but the only thing I could get out were "nothing." His grip around my shoulders released and he lifted my head from his shoulder.
I sat upright and my head slightly spun, but I shrugged it off. My head fell to my lap, but Harry was quick to place his fingers under my chin and gently lift my head up to look in to his green eyes. "Juliet, please tell me what’s wrong." Harry pleaded his eyes getting a bit misty.
"I just..." I stopped myself from continuing on and scanned his face. The only emotion he was showing was pure worry and sorrow. I shook my head and smiled slightly "I'm just a tad sad about...my family that's all." I watched as most of the worry vanished from his face and was replaced by...relief?
"That’s normal to be sad about your family" Harry smiled. His arms pulled me into a hug and I loosely wrapped my arms around his back. He squeezed me tight and I lightly did it back. "Come on" Harry chuckled into my ear "squeeze like ya mean it." I giggled and squeezed harder. "That's my girl" Harry whispered into my ear.
We continued hugging and Harry continued telling me cheeky things into my ear. I tried to listen to the conversation he was having with me, but my mind drifted back to all the questions running through my mind. Would he...would he stop the wedding for me?
"Let's get you up to bed," Harry stated while standing up and stretching his hand out to me.
"This is my bed" I countered "the boys are taking mine and Paris's room remember?" I watched as Harry bit his lip and scrunched his eyebrows, thinking.
"Hold on" Harry told me while walking out of the living room.
Alright then, I laid my back against the cushion and squeezed my eyes shut. My hands placed against my temples and started rubbing. My head is pounding. I heard footsteps coming toward the living room and I quickly removed my hands from my head and sat up, I didn't want Harry to worry about me. The living room door opened and in came Harry with a mass amount of pillows and blankets. I raised an eyebrow and he smirked.
"Paris will be sleeping with the boys tonight" he chucked the items on the ground by the TV and faced me once more.
"What" my eyes went wide and Harry nodded "and I'll be sleeping with you" Harry stated while plopping next to me on the couch.
"How...and she just?" Harry chuckled at my confusion.
"I told her you were a bit down about your family and wanted someone one to talk to."
"And she let you?"
He nodded "She will probably be sleeping with Louis tonight anyway."
I cringed and sudden guilt washed over me. "Are you okay with him sleeping in your bed?" I asked softly.
Harry’s eyes flicked from his lap and over to me, a smile spread across his face and he pulled me close to him. "Yea, as long as I get to sleep next to you."
I smiled weakly at him and set my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. I shut my eyes and breathed deeply. This is wrong, I kept repeating in my head over and over. But for some reason that thought didn't make me pull back from Harry, it made me snuggle deeper into his chest. 'He's about to get married' rang through my ears but it didn't make me confront him about it and make him call off the wedding, it made me wrap my arms around his stomach and hold on for dear life. I wasn't just 'cuddling', I was hanging on and hoping he wouldn't let me go.
**
I lay with my nose pressed against Harry’s chest and his legs tangled with mine. His light snores drifted through my ears and I inhaled his scent, sighing deeply. We were on the couch squished together. Everyone else in the house had gone to bed.
Harry’s grip on my waist tightened a little and I dug deeper into his chest. My thoughts kept drifting back to earlier today with my conversation with Niall. I really just wanted to ask Harry if he was going to go through with the wedding, but I was afraid too. I'm afraid because I don't want to face reality. I don't want to face the harsh truth of Harry telling me he would, that he would go through with the wedding, he would go through getting married to Karen, that he would go through with completely shattering my heart.
I was afraid he wouldn't love me back. I’m afraid that this is all just a phase to him, that I'm just a toy. I'm afraid I'm just a fling and when it's time for him to get married in two weeks he will have already up and dumped my lousy ass. I'm afraid, I'm so afraid it hurts. I don't think I've ever been so attached to something in my life, ever.
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I squeezed my eyes shut. I don't want to be alone again. He's the only person who has ever made me feel wanted. I don't want to go back to feeling useless. My eyes flew open when a sharp pain shot through my head and interrupted my thoughts.
My vision went slightly blurry and my stomach twisted. I pushed away from Harry’s chest and his arms broke lose from my waist. My body fell back from his and onto the wood floor. I jumped up and steadied myself on the coffee table. My vision gained itself back and I bolted out of the living room.
I had caught a glimpse of a frantic Harry jumping off the couch before I left. I threw the door of the bathroom open and slid to the toilet, my fingers clasped around the lid and lifted it up. My hair fell in my face and Harry entered just when I started puking up my guts. I breathed heavily into the toilet and my eyes were squeezed shut. The pain that was in the lower right of my stomach was unbearable and the banging in my head was making my dizzy.
I was sat in Harry’s lap with my legs crossed and Harry’s were crossed under mine. He held my hair back and rubbed soothing circles on my back. "I'm fine now" I mumbled lifting my head up and opening my eyes up, but as soon as I turned my head an inch to face Harry, my stomach twisted again and my vision got blurry again.
I threw my head back over the toilet and vomited again. At this point I wasn't puking up food, I was puking up stomach acid.
"You, are not fine" Harry said sternly "you have been over this toilet for the past two hours. We need to get you to the hospital."
My eyes flew open but I pushed aside the fact that I couldn't see straight. "I'm not going to a hospital," I stated.
"Yes, you are" Harry retorted slightly annoyed.
"I'm not going back to another hospital!" I said loudly, but soon regretted it when more liquid came out my mouth.
"There’s something wrong" Harry stated worriedly. "Karen" he called making me flinch and puke more "Louis!"
Seconds later a frantic Louis and a tired looking Karen ran through the door. Once they took sight of me, their eyes went wide and they started firing questions at both me and Harry. I couldn't understand what anyone was saying anymore because the ringing in my ears out powered all their booming voices.
I felt myself being lifted off the ground and into strong arms. I opened my eyes and saw Harry’s mouth moving, but I couldn't make out the words he was saying. The room started spinning and my vision went blurry. My eyes were getting heavy and my breathing started slowing down. I dropped my head into Harry chest and felt a cold hand press to my warm forehead. All I saw was black dots but I could feel cold air hitting my extremely sweaty body.
"Come on, stay with me" Harry’s raspy voice sounded in my ear. I tried to open my mouth and speak, but when I did, more vomit came out. The last thing I remember were bright lights surrounding my body.
Notes
2 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT IN THE FAN FIC, plus an epilogue.1 Comment and I will post Chapter 20
8/31/13