When You Let Your Heart Win
“It’s two in the morning, babe, you’re gonna be so tired.”
“I’m fine.” He shook his head. “I’d rather lay here and talk to you.”
“Babe…” I frowned.
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I promise.” He assured pulling me on top of him, making my feet dig under his calves, basically clinging myself to him.
“Are you excited to go back?” I whispered as I laid there, listening to his calming heartbeat.
“Yeah.” He sorta snorted. “I’m ready to be thousands of miles away from this place, the food, the views, the thousands upon thousands of high pitched screams to drown everything out, I’m ready. I’m just… I’m just not ready for all the questions and bullshit that’s gonna come with it all.”
“As much as I’d like the bitch to get every hateful word thrown at her, make management tell them that that topic is off limits. They’ve done it before, they can certainly do it now. This is more personal than anything, they have to understand. If they don’t help their clients out, they’d never get business.” I slightly ranted, lifting my head up and looked him square in the eye. Just wanting to protect him at any cost. Even though it’s inevitable. It’s gonna happen. No matter how much I, or his management try to protect him.
Eleanor and Shayla will be the topic everyone wants to hear about. How he’s adjusting from being international pop star to dad pretty much over night, but them not knowing, just yet, that Shay isn’t Louis’. That she never was. It’s heartbreaking knowing how he feels about it and how he feels like he just had his daughter ripped from his arms because this… bird thought the only way of staying relevant and staying in Louis’ life was to basically ruin it. I’m not saying having a child ruins a persons life, it just doesn’t help when it’s based off of a lie.
“I don't think they’re human.” He laughed, bring me out of my thoughts, but what I caught was the laugh, it wasn’t a humorous laugh, part of him actually meant it. “But they do care about our reputation, so I think it’ll be fine. I hope it’ll be fine.”
“Can we stay up all night?” I asked, changing the subject, not wanting our last night be all about negativity and heartache. We’ll have enough of that in the morning.
“If you can.” He laughed dragging his fingertips up and down my arms slowly. “Why?”
“I just want to spend as much time with you as I can.” I shrugged kissing his chin.
“Teddy?” He smirked. Oh dear...
“What?” I asked wanting to roll my eyes, but I hold back because this could actually be good. “Do I even want to know what’s cooking in that brain of yours?”
“Come with me.” He smiled, which made me roll my eyes. We’ve been over this. Millions of times it seems.
“I know.” He cut me off before I could start explaining myself again. “Two weeks is nothing. I can be away from you for two weeks. I’ll have the boys and they’ll keep my mind off of things.” I think he was really trying to convince himself that he could do this. That we both could do this.
“You can go out and get as drunk as you want…”
“But stay 100% faithful.” He cut me off again.
“I would’ve never thought of that…” I shook my head and looked at him like he just went mad. Where did that come from? And why did he think I’d think that?
“I know.” He sorta laughed. “But you know the press. They see us not together and me out partying, they’ll print shit saying I’m fucking every girl that walks behind, in front or beside me with whatever picture they snap.”
“I know and I’ll ignore it because I know you. The real you.” I smiled kissing his chest and laying back down and pretty much hugged him as tight as I could get myself to. “I trust you with every fiber in my body.”
“Ditto, baby.” He snickered, knowing that the word ‘baby’ still makes me cringe.
“Out of all the pet names you have for me, you use the worst one.” I scoffed sitting back up and scolded down at him as best as I could. I love us like this. Playful and genuinely happy. It’s what made me fall in love with the chap in the first place. “And to think I was about to blow you…”
“Hey, hey now.” He fought, scrunching his face up and lifted himself up on an elbow. “I find that very, very rude.”
“Of course you do.” I snorted and pushed him back some, making him lay back down, so I could look at him. “I love you.” I whispered as I sat there, even though he’s tired, he’s happy. I make him happy, he makes me happy and we’re about to be without each other for a little over two weeks and it’s starting to scare me. Like why don’t I go with him? Why do I have to make everything so much harder on us, our plate is already so full of hardship. I really wish my emotions would chill out. Every time we end the discussion of us being apart, we bring it back up. “Jesus fuck, I do, I really, really do.”
“What’s wrong?” He asked sitting up, tucking strands of hair behind my ears and kissed my chin.
“I’m being a girl.” I sniffed, wiping the tears away that started to fall, even after I tired to keep them in.
“I’m being selfish and fucking stupid. I don't want you to go, yet I’m staying here, I don't get it.” I fought with myself as the tears continued to fall, making me more and more mad at myself. “I can't even stop crying right now.”
“It's okay.” He assured, trying to get me to look at him. “Babe, you’re okay, we’re okay. It’s two weeks.”
“Just kiss me.” I fought.
“Kiss me. Shut me up. Make love to me.”
“If I let you leave without having you one more time, it will feel like a breakup, I won't be able to handle that.” I explained and my heart felt like it was going to burst if he refused.
But he didn't. I don't think he can refuse me, or he won't refuse me whenever my emotions go this weary. He knows that I need to prove that I love him as much as I say I do or it really will feel like a break up.
He went slow, slowly lifting my oversized hoodie over my head, grabbing my hips and slowly pulling me closer to him and kissing my collar bones and down between my boobs, all a while I gripped at his hair and tried to keep him as close to me as I possibly could keep him. “I want on top.” I whisper placing my hands on his shoulders as I stopped him from flipping us over. “Please?” I silently begged, him looking me in the eyes, searching for 100% certainty and when he got that, I knew when I felt his body relax again. “Thank you.” I whispered and kissed his lips once more. “Now lay back.” I sorta demanded and pushed at him slightly, before getting to my feet, still on the bed above him and slid my knickers down my legs before tossing them to the side and retook my place on his lap.
“Fuck.” He cursed as I sat right on him.
“LIke that?” I smirked as I tucked my fingers in the band of his briefs, a silent nod making me lift me bum up slightly while his hips rose and helped fold them down, him toeing them off after they were behind me and out of my reach. “I love you, Louis...”
“Forever and always.”
long time no post *sweats dramatically*
literally almost two years. I'm terrible and I'm so, so sorry
the disbanding made me pretty much lose my obsession, but someone commented and I was like, 'Emily, stop being a dick and finish what you started.'
so that night, I reread a few chapters, read what I had planned out and wrote and rewrote.
I'm a little happy with this, it's only one scene, but it's something, I sorta like, even though it's slightly back and forth, so again, I'm sorry.
what have you all been up to?! I won't get into a long detail story about my last year and half on here, because it's boring and dreadful and nobody wants to hear the shitty life of Emily :'D but hey, are you guys even still on here now that they're no longer a band? you all can thank Liz since her comment is the reason I got the email and remembered I actually had a story half written
but hey, story business time
since I don't know how many of you are still active, I won't ask questions or demand feed back, I'm just gonna write and hope to see familiar people pop up. I have the house to myself for the next day or so and I don't have to go to work until late tomorrow, so I may, just may snuggle with my puppy, listen to The 1975 and write all night until I fall asleep at the keyboard ;)
BUT GUYS! LOUIS' NEW SINGLE GOT ME DYING. if it's about Eleanor, so be it, I don't care. he's perfect, preferred him with Danielle but whatever, I'm over it. I'll never meet him, so let him be with whoever/whatever he wants ;)
but yeah if you're still here, bear with me and maybe tell me what you think and how you're doing while I try to continue writing. I quite missed it :) xoxox