When You Let Your Heart Win
"Shayla isn't yours." El rushed out and made me stop in my tracks.
"What?" I spat turning around. She was sitting there with her head in her hands.
"Shayla... isn't yours." She whispered.
"And you're now just telling me this?!" I yelled. "You couldn't of told me, oh I don't know the morning we got the DNA tests back?! Wait. We had a DNA test. She is mine."
"No she's not." She shook her head and got up. "I had... I had Max's toothbrush and swapped the names."
"Max..." I stopped and laughed. "Was our relationship even real?!"
"Yes!" She yelled then went back into her little shell. "He just happens not to be gay."
"How many times did you fuck around?" I spat.
"It doesn't matter." She shook her head. "I'll just take her."
"What Louis?" She snapped. "Are you going to yell at me? Tell me how pathetic I am? That I'm a slag and that I ruined a perfectly good relationship? Well don't. I've heard it all already. I know I fucked up, but I wanted you to be her father because I knew you'd help and wouldn't run away like Max did. Some fucking best friend he is."
"No, but if I cannot get Teddy back after I tell her this, I'll never forgive you. You honestly think your life is hell now? Wait until I find something to do to take you to court."
"I tampered with a DNA test, fucking sue me!" She yelled.
"I should!" I yelled back. "I spent time and money on a kid that's not even mine! I let that kid ruin my relationship with my girlfriend because I was raised not to turn my back on something I've caused! All for what? You to have a father figure in her life? You should've just got an abortion if you wanted that. Because nobody will want you now. You're just a lying sack of shit."
"Teddy, don't stick up for me." El whispered as we both turned towards her.
"No." Teddy growled. "I don't care if I dislike you, nobody speaks to a girl like that."
"Where'd you go?" I asked calmer and started to walk towards her, but watched her take a few steps away from me, making me stop.
"Don't worry about it." She looked at me quickly then back at El. "Go get Shay's stuff."
"Teddy, how much of our conversation did you hear?" I whispered as El raced out of the room to get Shay.
"Does it matter?" She snorted.
"How much?" I asked walking over to her again and didn't let her get away from me this time.
"It doesn't matter!" She yelled.
"Teddy, Shayla isn't mine!" I yelled back, pushing her hair back and placed her head between my hands, then continued in a softer tone. "She told me I'm not Shay's father."
"You're just saying that." She whispered trying to push me away.
"Babe, stop, please. Listen to me." I pleaded grabbing her hands. "I'm not lying. Ask El yourself."
"If she's not yours, then whose is she?" She sobbed.
"Believe me or not, but Max." I laughed.
"Now who's the lying sack of shit?" She huffed pushing me away again and this time she actually got away.
"Teddy, fucking listen to me." I growled pulling her arm and pulling her back to me. "I'm not lying. Ask her. If you still don’t believe it, then you can start pushing me away if you still feel the need to."
“Tell me everything.” I growled walking into Shay’s nursery. “Now!”
“What he told you is true.” She whispered laying Shay back into her cot. “The night you two came back from Doncaster, he kicked me out and I was so pissed I went out with Max and his friends…”
“Where was Lani?”
“She was on holiday.” She replied then shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. Teddy, I’m so, so sorry. When I told Max I was pregnant, he told me to lose his number and to never talk to him again.”
“So you told Louis that he’s the father?!” I yelled, which made Shay start to cry. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She sighed picking her up and bounced her some. “I wanted a good man for Shay. I didn’t want her to grow up without a father. Louis is a good father. I knew that just from watching him interact with his siblings. I didn’t want to do this on my own, Teddy. Raising a child so young is terrifying. Hell, raising a child at any age is terrifying.”
“That doesn’t make this okay.” I shook my head. “You still ruined Louis and I’s relationship.”
“No, Teddy.” She rushed and held Shay to her chest. “Don’t say that. He loves you so much and it’ll kill him if he loses you. You saw how he was last time. Please don’t let my stupid mistake ruin your relationship for good.”
“It already has!” I laughed shaking my head.
“No it hasn’t.” She tried to smile. “You dealt with so much last year. You dealt with your parents, your rape and even finding out I was pregnant, you dealt with it. Because of Louis. You two are each other’s rock.”
"I told him over and over again to get another DNA test." I whispered, tears falling again. "He trusted you so much. He trusted you over me."
"He trusts you way more than me."
"Yeah, now." I snorted. "Hell, if he trusted me from the beginning you two would never of dated and this wouldn't be happening."
"Please don't push him away." She pleaded. "I saw him with her, he loves her, he built a form of a connection with her, this is going to hurt a while."
"He'd be an idiot if he didn't."
"I'm not going to push him to be in her life." She whispered looking down at Shay. "I know that you now know everything and this was all a bunch of bullshit, but I won't push him away from her. He doesn't have to be the father figure, he can see her if he'd like, I'm… just… God I don't even know what I'm saying." She stopped and covered her face. "Teddy, I'm so, so sorry."
"Were you ever going to tell us?" I whispered looking from Shayla to El.
"Honestly?" She asked and I nodded. "Probably not." She laughed at how pathetic it sounded. "He has money, he's reliable, he's perfect, who would turn their back on that?"
“Babe?” I whispered sticking my head inside our room.
“Is El gone?” He asked from the bed.
“Yeah.” I nodded, even though he wouldn’t see it. “Do you want me to make lunch?”
“Want me to order something?” I asked.
“Teddy, I just want to be left alone.” He sighed loudly.
“I don’t want you to be alone.” I whispered crawling into bed with him and laid behind him and held onto him.
“Where’d you go last night?” He whispered.
“Why?” He asked moving his head to the side to look at me some.
“I couldn’t be here.” I replied looking down at my hand that was drawing little circles into his shoulder.
“So am I.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He snorted.
“I left.” I looked at him. “I should’ve stayed.”
“I understand why you did.” He shrugged. “I would’ve left months ago.”
“Well I love you too much.”
“But you still left.”
“I came back.” I whispered laying my head between his shoulder blades. “I’m not going anywhere either. At least not permanently.”
“Please don’t leave again.” He whispered like he was hurting. “I don’t care if it’s for a few hours, please don’t. I can't deal with you being somewhere else whenever you're pissed at me."
“I won’t. I swear.” I smiled leaning up some and kissed his shoulder. “We could try again.” I whispered.
"For? A baby?"
"Mhmm." I hummed and watched his face.“No.” He shook his head quickly. “Not for a good while. I'm done with kids. I don't even want to see a kid.”
“Ar… okay.” I whispered.
“Even though I know this one will be 100% mine, I can’t handle it right now.” He explained moving onto his back and wrapped his arm around me. “In a few years, maybe.”
“Okay.” I whispered moving as close as I could to him.
"No." I shook my head some. "I just… I guess I just want you to be happy. You were happy everytime Shay was here."
"Right now, the only thing that can make me happy is going on tour and taking you with me." He sighed. "Everything else can fuck off."
"Don't tell me you don't want to go with me?" He asked with a slight panic in his tone.
"No, I'm going. God, you can't get rid of me for that long." I smiled nuzzling my face into the side of his neck. "I can't go a long period of time without smelling your stench."
"Yeah and I can't go a long period of time with your bitchiness." He joked pulling me on top of him.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
"Impossible." I mumbled against his skin. "You'll be okay, boo."
"It may not be in a day or a week, but it'll get better." I continued.
"Just stay here and I know it'll be better sooner than later." He sighed and I couldn't hurt him anymore. Not this soon.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"If you try to leave I'm cuffing you to something downstairs."
"I may like that." I teased and felt him shake with laughter, a step closer to having my boy back, just what I want at the moment.
The next five to ten minutes were silent. He didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything either. I think that’s how he wanted it to be for awhile and I understand his reasonings, but he’s bottling up everything. Everything that he really wants to say, that he didn't have the chance to say or didn't want to say once I came in. He’s the type to let everything off his chest, but this is more personal than before and this hurts way more.
"I love you." I whispered and brought his knuckles up to my mouth.
“I was really happy Shay was born.” He said out of nowhere, making me sigh in relief because I knew he needed to let this out, but then again I sighed because this is going to hurt. “Even though it didn't seem like it or that it hurt you so much, I loved knowing that for the next 15 years, she’d love me and wouldn’t leave.”
“15 years?” I asked sitting up into a straddle position and looked down at him.
“Yeah.” He laughed laying his hands on my thighs. “At 16, teens become rebellious and hate their parents.”
“She’d never hate you.” I whispered playing with his shirt. “Who would hate you?”
“Never.” I shook my head. “There’s honestly nothing you can say or do to make me hate you.”
“Ditto.” He whispered sitting up quickly and kissed me quickly before laying back down with a huff. "You're so fucking perfect. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you at all."
"I'm not perfect, Louis." I whispered and felt like crying.
"I always hurt you." He mumbled as he went in his head and began to overthink everything. "I still think you deserve to be with Harry…"
"Stop." I cut him off, but he kept going, making me feel like he was trying to make me leave him and every time he would say I was perfect, my chest twisted. I'm not perfect. Last night is proof of it. I kissed someone that isn't my current boyfriend and I completely regret it, but it happened and he's making me sound like I'm a saint. "Stop." I repeated again, but he didn't. "Louis!" I yelled and finally got his attention.
"I kissed Niall."
seven days later, here we are :D
but let's be honest, this was done before chapter 93 was
TELL ME WHAT YOU THIIIINK!
i'm not writing this just to have four readers comment
there are TONS of you
start throwing comments at me or for real this story will just be ONE story