When You Let Your Heart Win
Have you ever drove around at four in the morning, broken and have no idea where you're going? I've done it plenty of times, but this time is different. I'd usually end up at Louis' climbing up the tree by his bedroom in the back garden and climbing through his window, always scaring the poor lad to death whenever I practically jump on him, since his bed was pushed up against the window, I always felt bad, but at the same time it always made me laugh hysterically. Then we were just best mates, and thinking about it now, I don't think we were ever mates. I think we were just in love without even knowing it. And now that I'm not going to him right now, it fucking hurts.
So since I don't have Louis to run to, I guess my brain knew where to go before I did, Niall.
"Hold on a minute!" Niall yelled from behind the door after I rung the doorbell two or three times. "Damnit, ya bitch, who put that there?" He cursed, I'm guessing to himself since he lives by himself before he opened the door. "Teddy?"
"Hey, best friend." I tried to laugh. "Fancy some company?"
"At four in the morning?" He asked and turned on the porch light and looked at me more closely, ready to really lose it. Again. "Come in."
"I'm sorry." I apologised as I stepped through the threshold.
"It's okay." He assured and threw an arm over my shoulders. "Have a seat, I'll go make some tea. I have a feelin' we'll be up awhile." He smiled as he sat me down and walked off to the kitchen.
This isn't what I wanted. I don't know what I'm going to do or what I'm doing right now, honestly. Louis won't listen to me, so I guess I go to the person that does, always, doesn't matter what time, obviously, or how bad the fight was, Niall, he's always here. He's literally the best bloke on this planet with the biggest heart, why is he alone, then? Why hasn't someone came into his life and whisked his heart away? He deserves someone. He's too perfect to not have someone.
"Yeah?" I whispered looking up at him.
"Looks like Louis' nail biting habit rubbed off on ya." He snickered and handed me a cuppa, as I realised that I was gnawing on the sides of my fingers.
"He does it all the bloody time." I huffed.
"Sorry." I sighed leaning back and curled my hands around my cuppa.
"I hate when you apologise for shit that isn't your fault." He huffed and leaned back before propping his feet up on his coffee table. "Wanna watch a movie before we talk or get everything off that pretty little head of yours?" He asked, and I just spilled. Everything. Once again. And he listened until I was done. Not interrupting me once, just literally listening to me. Something I haven't gotten at home in what feels like forever.
"Wow." He whistled and leaned further into the couch.
"I'm sorry I always come to you." I apologised for the millionth time. "I know you don't need this kind of drama or to have any hard feelings against Louis, but I had nowhere else to go."
"No, babe, you have to stop apologising. You're always welcomed here, doesn't matter what time it is, you're like my little, big sister and I love that you feel confident in me to help." He tried to comfort me as I looked down at my half empty mug.
"I should just go home." I whispered. "My mum would feed me chocolate."
"You want chocolate?" Niall asked standing up quickly and walked back towards the kitchen. "I will get you chocolate."
"You don't…" I stopped as I heard him slamming cabinet doors. "Niall?" I laughed.
"One sec!" He yelled as I laughed again.
"Oh Jesus." I laughed as Niall brought an arm full of chocolate sweets into the living room and dumped them on the couch beside me. "I didn't mean that much chocolate."
"You can never have enough chocolate." He smiled plopping back down on the couch and grabbed a sweet and tore it open.
"I know you can eat anything and stay fit, but I can't."
"You eat fruits and shit, you'll be fine." He laughed through a mouthful before flipping on the telly.
"Do you think he wants to be with El?" I whispered.
"What?" He asked looking over at me.
"She's less drama, he listens to her, everyone said they're practically the same, so maybe he's tired of me and wants her." I rushed out. "That's it, right?" I asked dropping the candy bar I had in my hand and started to feel my heart break sightly more. "He just doesn't have the balls to tell me it's over. He did that with El. He thought he was tired of her, so he cheated on her with the broken girl that was around and she dumped him and I was here to keep his di…"
"You deserve so much better, Teddy." He scoffed. "He's making you go mad. You're a good person and he loves you and as long as I've known him, it's been you, but he's fucking this up between the two of you good. And I'm tired of seeing you beat yourself up over this." He ranted. "Teddy, you are hands down the girl of everyone's dreams. You don't fuck around, you tell everyone how it is and how you're feeling, you don't let people walk all over you. You have a backbone and you fucking gorgeous and the most funnest bird that has ever been linked to us five idiots…" he continued but I cut him off and kissed him. I didn't think, I just did it.
"Ted…" he stopped and pushed me back. "I know you're upset, but don't."
"I'm… I'm sorry." I whispered and crawled into a ball. "What the fuck did I just do?" I asked myself as I covered my face and cried. "I shouldn't of done that, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I apologised. "I don't know why I did that."
"You feel safe here." He sighed and pushed the chocolates onto the floor before he tried to pry my hands from my face. "Ted, we both know we're not into each other like that, you know that, I know that, everyone does, you just want someone to make you feel loved and I'm not going to do that. To you or to Louis."
"I practically just cheated on him." I pointed out and started to panic. "I'm such a bitch."
"Teddy, stop it." He pleaded. "You didn't mean anything by it."
"He won't see it that way." I shook my head.
"Teddy, breathe." He grabbed my face and made me look him head on. "It didn't mean anything. If you tell him, tell him exactly that. It meant nothing, if you don't, don't beat yourself up over it."
"I'm such a bitch."
"Stop it." He growled. "Teddy, it's okay. We know where and who your heart belongs to, you just need to cool down and remember that you are a human being and we do fucked up things."
"He's going to hate me." I sobbed.
"If he does, fuck him. Not literally, but he's down worse…"
"Shit." He sighed and put my head between his hands and made me look at him. "I didn't mean that he's ever cheated on you…"
"Cheated." I cried out. "See, even you consider what I just did as cheating."
"Teddy, you need to breathe. You're working yourself up and it's not doing you any good."
"He got El pregnant, that's what he's done." He explained. "He put this stress on you, he's not seeing that you see something's wrong and he's not listening to it because he doesn't want it to be true. He's probably sitting at home right now bashing his head against something because he knows you're ready to walk away. I don't know if it's for good, but you're so close to giving up on him and none of us want to see that happen."
"Can I… can I just go to sleep?" I asked trying to look away from him.
"I'm tired of talking." I whispered and looked out the window, just to see the sun coming up, whenever he let my head go. "Fuck, I'm a horrible person." I scolded myself. "You have rehearsals tomorrow, well today and I've kept you up all night."
"It's fine." He assured and got up. "Fancy a sleepover?"
"You have to leave soon…"
"I'll sleep for an hour or so." He shrugged and I looked at him like I was the meanest person ever for keeping him up. "I'm fine, really. Sleepover?"
"Like old times?" I asked as I finally cracked a smile and looked up at him.
"How else?" He snorted like I was stupid and took my hand and helped me to my feet.
"I love ya, Leprechaun." I mumbled hugging him quickly.
"Wow." He laughed and hugged me back. "Haven't heard that one in awhile."
"Nooo." I whined and flipped over.
"I'm bored." He whined back.
"But I'm tired."
"And I'm not?" He laughed, making me lift my head and glare at him.
"You're mean." I huffed and rolled onto my back.
"Yes." He smiled and jumped out of bed and ran out of the room.
"What the hell…?"
"How'd ya sleep?" Niall asked walking in with Nando's and coffee.
"I didn't really." I mumbled sitting up in bed and grabbed my cup from him. "Did he say anything to you?" I asked picking at my lid.
"He didn't show." He replied plopping down onto the bed by my feet. "Hungry?"
"Not really." I shook my head. "I should go home."
"Eat first." He pleaded.
"I'm fine." I fought. "I'll go eat something at home.
"Teddy, I bought your favourite, don't make me shove it down your throat." He looked serious, but I don't think the loon sitting in front of me could ever be forceful. He's too kind.
"Just eat it." I pleaded. "I'm fine."
"No." He said grabbing a fork and a container of chicken, stabbed it, got up and came at me. "Open."
"Teddy…" He trailed.
"I'm not hungry." I laughed and tried to push the fork away.
"Yes you are. You're Teddy Parker." He laughed pushing me back and straddled me, the fork going in my face. "Eat it."
"You're so mean!" I laughed at him. "This isn't how our sleepovers go!"
"Now this is." He smiled. "Eat it!"
"Wh…" I tried to talk but he shoved the food in my mouth and threw his hands in the air.
"Win!" He laughed and got off of me and retook his spot at the end of the bed as I chewed.
"Mean." I mumbled through my food. "Never again. Worst best friend ever in history of best friends."
"You love me. Everyone does."
here's my birthday present to you guys :)
sorry for the wait, but shit happens
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