When You Let Your Heart Win
Without opening my eyes, I can tell it's about 4:30 and Louis is up and attending a screaming Shayla, again, and as much as I'd like to stay in bed and dig myself under my pillow, I know he's tired, so I know I should help some. It's not totally his fault he had a kid with another woman, so I got up, steadied myself and drug my hungover self to Shay's room and let's be honest, I'm a zombie, so I literally dragged myself down the hall.
"Does she need a bottle warmed up?" I yawned leaning onto the door frame and looked down at him. He was laying on the floor and talking to her as she stared up at him.
"I can do it." He looked up at me. "Go back to bed."
"30 seconds, 4 ounces?" I ignored him. "Be right back."
"Thanks, Bear." He smiled softly from the floor.
"It's the least I can do." I shrugged, a small smile fighting it's way onto my lips as he turned his attention back to his daughter and I turned for the kitchen.
Now I'm no expert at baby bottle making, so I really hope I don't much this up. It's measuring out formula and putting it in a bottle with warm water, how hard is that? I wish things were as easy as making baby bottles.
"Here." I yawned walking in and handing him the freshly, warm bottle.
"Thanks babe." He yawned as well and grabbed the bottle from me. "You didn't have to."
"This is the third or fourth time you've gotten up, I feel like I had too." I shrugged and leaned back against the wall and watched him.
"You don't have to feel like doing anything when it comes to her." He whispered picking Shay up and propped her head before feeding her. "This is my job…"
"But I'm not going to let you go without any sleep." I cut him off. "Don't argue with me. You need sleep, especially with tour starting in a few weeks."
"Okay." He sighed and looked down at Shay, pretty much ending our conversation, but let's face it, we've already had this discussion/fight and it's too early in the morning to discuss it again.
As he continued feeding her, I just watched him. He was a natural, obviously. He has six younger siblings, but even if he didn't have his brother and sisters, I just know he'd know what to do. Again, he's a natural. It's basically a reflex for him.
"Bring her in the room with us." I whispered after he yawned for the fifth time, that I saw, since I came in here.
"What?" He snapped his glance up at me quickly.
"There's no use in getting up every time." I shrugged pushing myself off the wall and walking over to her changing table and grabbed some nappies and the box of wipes. "C'mon, Mr. Pop Star, she can sleep with us."
"Mhmm." I nodded waving a few nappies in the air. "The only time we'll have to get up is when she needs another bottle."
"Yes." I laughed.
"Babe, you've been drinking. I bet your head feels fantastic right now so I'm sure you want to sleep. Peacefully."
"You waking up and getting out of bed wakes me up." I shrugged.
"I'll be quiter." He sighed. "I'm sorry. Go back to bed.
"I want you to sleep too and it'll be easier with her in the same room, let alone same bed as us, so get your sexy bum off that floor, grab her and let's go to bed. You never know, I may squeeze your bum." I demanded over my shoulder and began walking back to our room.
"You always squeeze my bum." He huffed, still in Shay's room, but just to be behind me before he spoke again. "I have other body parts that'd liked to be squeezed."
"If you're lucky." I shrugged and placed the nappies and wipes on his nightstand before I jumped, literally, into bed and sighed at the comfy-ness.
"Are you sure you want her in here?"
"Yeesss." I drawed out.
"I can take her bac…"
"Louis, it's fine. Stop trying to argue."
"I'm not." He sighed finally sitting down on the bed and leaned up against the head board.
"You're trying to do something." I mumbled and flipped onto my side, facing away from him.
"I just want you comfortable."
"And you in bed with me as long as I can have you is me being comfortable." I snapped at him and that was it. Itwas quite between us after that. All you could hear was Shay drinking her bottle and burping whenever Louis patted her back and burped her. I don't even have to look at him to say, once again, that he's a natural.
"We should go buy you a little cot to set up in here." Lou whispered as he moved around. "Now whenever Teddy stops being mad at me, she won't be able to squeeze my bum because your little bum is in our way."
"I'll just reach over her." I whispered.
"I didn't know you were still awake, sorry."
"I'm not mad at you." I sighed. "You just need to know I'm okay with this. She's part of you and I care for you, so I care for her."
"Okay, I'm sorry." He whispered and slid his hand onto my hip. "If she wasn't between us, I'd spoon you so hard."
"Shut up." I laughed and grabbed his hand and squeezed. "Tomorrow we can spoon."
"You better count on it." He laughed softly and sighed. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" I whispered turning around to face him. "You said sorry already."
"I know but for Perrie. She had a point tonight…"
"It's okay." I shook my head slightly and jumped whenever Shay twitched. "What the hell?"
"She must be having a dream." He smiled and ran a hand over her face softly.
"You were made for this." I whispered and continued to watch him.
"Fatherhood." I smiled. "You're so good with her."
"Are you keeping score or something?" He joked. "Making sure I'm the right man for you?"
"I already knew you were, it's just 100% confirmed now."
"Bear… baby Bear, wake up."
"No, you need to wake up. Both of you do."
"What?" I asked opening my eyes and looked beside me. Shayla was still sleeping and holding onto my finger as she slept. "How long has she been sleeping?"
"A good while." He smiled. "I tried to wake her to feed her, but she wouldn't wake up. I even changed her while she was sleeping." He laughed. "Maybe you can try to get her up. She seems to like you since she won't let go of you."
"You sure?" I yawned and laid back against my pillow, my hair falling over my face, but I could still see him.
"Yeah." He nodded and leaned over to kiss me quickly and jumped up and out of bed. "I'll go make you two some breakfast."
"Okay." I smiled and shook my finger out of Shay's hand softly and sat us against the headboard, stretching some of my muscles, before looking down at Shayla again. "Alright, little girl." I whispered softly down to her. "You have to be hungry if you've been sleeping most of the night." I talked to her and picked her up, disturbing her just enough to wake her up. "Mornin', sunshine. It's about time you wake up." I smiled. "Are you hungry? You gotta be." I said looking at the clock. "Wow, you really gotta be hungry. It's almost 11 and you last ate sometime around 4. How did you do that? If I'm sleeping and I'm hungry, I wake up like a bat out of hell and force your daddy to make me food." I giggled. "You're daddy is a goof, but he's our goof. He'll do anything for us.
"I know she's not yours, but you got the new mum glow." Louis said from the doorway, making me jump. "I always sneak up on you." He laughed. "Sorry."
"It's okay." I smiled and looked back down at Shay. "She looks an awfully lot like El."
"I know." He smiled placing a food tray, with yummy smelling food over my lower legs and handed me a bottle. "It's scary, but I think I'd rather it be that way."
"Why don't you take a DNA test again?" I asked, feeling brave since I held Shay in my arms.
"What?" He laughed, then saw that I was serious. "No."
"We already had a test done. She's mine." He fought. "I know this is hard for you, babe, and I'm sorry, but getting another test done won't prove anything we don't already know."
"It could prove that you're not Shay's father." I whispered.
"But I am." He snapped. "I'm her dad and there's nothing we can do to change that. You told me to be here for them and I'm doing that. Why are you not happy with that? I'm doing what you wanted. You told me you couldn't be with me if I didn't take care of them and now that Shay's here, you changed your mind?"
"No I didn't change my mind." I shook my head and felt Shay move, reminding me she was still here and that I was still feeding her, so I pulled the bottle from her mouth to see how much she drank before giving it back to her. "She's just here now and she looks nothing like you."
"Look at Erine and Doris, they're the spitting image of Dan, my mum isn't denying them." He gave an example and I just rolled my eyes. "What?"
"She gave birth to them. They're her children. We both know she didn't use another woman's eggs, that's all Johannah. Doris and Ernie are all Johannah and Dan, Shay, she's all El."
"She'll grow into my looks. Please. Just stop. Whatever you're trying to do, just stop." He shook his head and got up and left, leaving me with Shayla and a slight fracture to my heart. Again.
sorry that's it's been a month, but apparently people don't know how to comment what i ask
so whatever, you'll get chapters whenever i have a chapter
anyways, my concert night...
so right after 5SOS got off stage, it decided to pour, so i got excited because i'd get to see wet One Direction
but no -_-
they stage backstage, all nice and dry, until the rain stopped
it pissed me off to extreme
anyways, it was perfect. i lost my voice and ended up with bruised feet because i wore sandals and i took them off after they got soaked, so i was trampling on that hard freaking field cover, but yeah, it was worth it :D
i didn't take as many photos as i did videos and most photos didn't turn out good, but the ones that did, i posted on my Facebook and if you'd like, you can click here to go see them :)
anyways, tell me what you think and what you want to happen next