When You Let Your Heart Win
Do you ever just sit back and watch the every move of someone extremely attractive? I do and I have been doing that for the pass hour now and it's… it's making me go mad.
After Louis bought his leggings two days ago, we came back to the hotel and he did what he said he was going to do; put on those dreadful things and lounge. It's been like this for two days. He's making me hate leggings but then he's making them look so good and making me want him. And we honestly can't have that right now, because my vagina is bleeding like Niagara Falls. I always exaggerate, but who actually gives a damn?
I'm honestly sitting with my back against the arm of the couch, my feet on his lap, just staring at him. Watching him laugh at something on the telly, when he coughs or sneezes, how his chest moves up and down with every breath he takes or how every now and then he'll look down at my feet and draw little shapes on the top of them or wherever he could reach without moving much, he's a beautiful person. Just the little things he does, the little affection he shows, it's almost like he's touching me to make sure I'm really with him and that he's not dreaming. It's fascinating to watch and I'm actually a little surprised he has not noticed my slightly creepy stare. Either that or he's just ignoring me and letting me work myself up. If that's the case, he's an arse.
"Babe?" I asked bending my legs some and dug my feet underneath his leg and rubbed the back of his thigh.
"Hmm?" He hummed looking at me quickly before turning back to the telly, but whenever I didn't reply back to him, he looked at me again, before going back to the telly again, just to whip his head back to me and look me over. "Bear?"
"Hmm?" I mimicked him and looked at my feet that we're still rubbing his thigh.
"Your chest is red."
"Oh really?" I glanced down. "Oh, so it is." I shrugged my shoulders and looked at him for a second then back to my feet.
"Babe, why are you so flustered?" He asked grabbing my feet and placing them on either side of the couch cushion and moved his way between my legs.
"I didn't know I was." I bit the inside of my lip and looked him in the eyes.
"Mhmm." He nodded with a small smirk forming against his lips. "If I move your shirt and feel your skin, will you be burning up?"
"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders again, before sliding down, so I was laying fully underneath him.
"Have a feel, boo." The smile I'm sure I gave him was pure lust and adoration. Just looking at him, even if he's wearing those stupid leggings, he's beautiful. There is never a time where Louis Tomlinson from One Direction is ever ugly and since he's never ugly, he tends to over heat a girls body and it had to go into extreme over heating two days after getting my period.
"Hmm?" I hummed lifting my back off the couch and let him slip my shirt off me.
"You're really hot, babe." He whispered leaning down and kissed right under the cup of my bra. "The change in weather constantly must be getting to you." He explained and moved to the other side of my body and kissed under the cup of my bra again. "You went from winter, to summer, to winter, to fall."
"Is that why I'm all hot?" I giggled as he moved between my boobs and licked the skin there. It's strange to find out all the places where I'm ticklish.
"Either that or someone is liking my new wardrobe more than they were hoping." He whispered hovering over me.
"Ehh." I held my hands up like I didn't know.
"Teddy…" He stopped and sighed. "I know what's going on and I'm not making you do this, so please stop."
"I can't go another three days without you." I pouted.
"But you're not comfortable with it." He shook his head and sat up but stayed between my legs. And whenever I looked up at him, and saw I effected him a little, it boosted my ego and my confidants.
"Come take a shower with me." I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I want to try it and I want my first time of that to be with you." I whispered and kissed him quick and soft.
"And only you."
"Yes." I smiled getting to my feet, grabbed his hand and pulled him along with me towards the bathroom.
Once we got to the bathroom, I pulled his shirt over his head quickly as he unclasped my bra and slid it down my arms before his hands slid down to my waist and froze there.
He knows me too well. My insecurities are starting to boil through and make me nervous.
"I'll be in the shower." He whispered placing my head between his hands and made me look up at him.
"Take your time and remember that I love you even if you back out." See? Perfect human being right here holding me. He knows everything I feel.
"I love you." I smiled grabbing ahold of his wrists and leaned up on my tippy toes to kiss him before he let his hands go to his own waist, push his leggings down his legs before walking over to the shower, turned it on and adjusted the water's temperature all before jumping in, while I stood there watching him and trying to get my confidence back.
He's a perfect human being, being completely patient with me and wanting me comfortable other than him being a tosser and wanting to get off. Whoever said good guys don't exist anymore, they haven't met my boyfriend.
Throughout all my thinking and second guessing myself, I stripped off the remainder of my clothing, took out my tampon and threw it away before I jumped in the shower and pressed myself up against Louis before I thought of changing my mind.
"You okay?" He asked rubbing my arms that were wrapped around his waist.
"Yeah." I nodded against him and let him turn around.
"We don't have to do this." He whispered grabbing my face like he did minutes ago.
"I want to." I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Then please wipe that terrified look off your face." He laughed picking me up, my legs instantly wrapping around him. "It's nothing different."
"There's just blood coming out of your favorite hole." I mumbled laying my forehead against his collarbone.
"You picked a good place to do this though." He laughed bouncing me some. "You won't even know the difference and it'll wash off before you see it."
"God I love you." I laughed, but at the same time I felt like I was about to cry.
"Think of anything but what time of the month it is." He whispered placing my back up against the wall and moved his right hand from my bum down into between us. "Think of four days ago." He continued to whisper as I closed my eyes and pictured four days ago, a big smile forming on my face. "Think of how you felt when you told me you wanted me to take you up to your bedroom and make love to you." He continued making me open my eyes, just to look him head on and from the intensity and the memories he was throwing at me, it made me whimper. "How you felt whenever I pushed in." He smiled pushing in as he spoke. "Remember how hard you came, both times..."
"Stop." I smiled. "Stop talking."
"Should I explain to you how I felt?" He asked moving his right hand to my waist, as his left stayed supporting my bum and he drawled his hips out before moving slowly back into me. "It felt like this, but tighter." He smiled, but that made me feel bad, so I clenched for him. "Fuck, Teddy don't."
"I want you to feel good." I shook my head. "Keep moving. Keep telling me how you felt. Please."
"I'm fine, just don't clench. I want you to feel good and enjoy this, not me ruin it." He explained, so I obeyed. He's honest, what more could I asked for? He wants me to feel good. He's not being selfish, he's thinking of me.
"I'm sorry." I whispered kissing him softly. "Please continue."
"It felt like our first time again." He smiled pulling almost all the way out just to move back in a little faster.
"I was just as nervous as the first time." He laughed. "I was afraid you'd push me off and never talk to me again, but you never did." He smiled moving his hand into my hair and thrusted up harder, making me moan loudly. "When you did that, I felt like it was the most amazing sound ever. You felt so good, I wanted to go so much harder, but again, I was terrified you wouldn't like it."
"I like everything that comes along with you, boo." I panted throwing my head back and moaned out his name.
"And I like getting that out of you." He mumbled into my neck. "You're holding back." He panted. "Bear, don't."
"I want you to come with me." I fought.
"When was the last time you came that didn't pull me into my own orgasm?" He pulled his head from my neck and looked me head on. "That's right. There isn't one, because you feeling good makes me feel good and gets me there."
"But I want you to come with me." I fought again and held my orgasm back.
"No." I squealed.
"Teddy, now." He growled, but I just shook my head no. "Teddy, don't make me go all Christian Grey on you." He growled harsher this time.
"No!" I panted with a smile. I don't even know how I was able to get a word out.
"Baby, when I tell you to come, you come." He sounded so different, like a completely different person.
"Forgive me, love." He whispered against my neck then slapped my clit and making me scream.
"No, no, no."
"You fighting, is just making me hold mine back even more." God, he sounds so evil. I don't believe this is my boyfriend anymore. "Don't make me get nastier."
"Just come." I arched my head back and moaned so loudly, the front desk probably heard it.
"Baby Bear?" He grabbed my face and made me look at him. "You're on the brink of insanity, let go."
"Be selfish for once in your lifetime, please."
"Then forgive me." The smile that found its way onto his face was so disturbing, yet so sexy, it almost broke me. When he slapped my clit once again, my mind went completely fuzzy, but whenever he started to strum my clit, I was a complete goner. My brain was completely gone, I couldn't breathe and I came probably the hardest I've ever came. "Fuuck." When I let go of my orgasm, I was sent through another and another and my body completely forgot everything. "Teddy, breathe."
"I-I can-can't." I panted laying my head against his shoulder.
"You talked, so you're breathing." He laughed lightly.
"I can't feel my legs." I whispered.
"Either way, you need to get down." He mumbled. "I can't afford getting hard again if that's what I get."
"You've never been that..."
"Hot." I laughed lifting my head and looked at him. "I feel like I keep saying this, but bring, whatever Louis just came out from that, out more often."
"Deal." He nodded. "I'll get you to squirt all the time."
"Bear, you need to learn you are the most beautiful person in this world to me. Everything that you do, or comes out of you, is beautiful."
"I made a doctor's appointment."
"What? Why?" He jerked his head up quickly and looked at me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I shook my head. "I just... I want to know if what the doctor's back home saw was legit."
"You want a second opinion." He nodded and laid back down.
"Don't you?" I whispered laying my chin on his chest and looked up at him.
"Well, yeah, but there's not much difference between the doctor's in Doncaster and the ones here." He shrugged.
"Do you want me to cancel?" I frowned leaning up on my elbow and looked down at him.
"No!" He answered quickly and cleared his throat before continuing. "But babe, I don't want you to get your hopes up with this and thinking everything's fine."
"So you do want me to cancel." I nodded and sat up against the headboard.
"No, Jesus, Teddy, I just want you to be ready for anything they'll say." He sat up with me. "I don't want you to go in there and be like 'Doncaster's full of shit. I'm going to go in here and prove it' then get completely shut down." He explained more. "I want… I just don't want to see you hurt again. Not this soon or ever."
"I'd rather find out now." I whispered. "I'd rather get bad news after bad news, then work on getting over it. I-I don't want to get bad news, get over it, just to get bad news again. If I have you through everything, I can and will get passed it."
"And you got me." He smiled. "I just want you to be sure you want to go through this right now."
"I do." I nodded. "I need to do this."
"You want." He laughed.
"No I need to. I need to know if I can have little Louis' running around or if I need help to get that or if I can't get that at all. I need to know. The sooner, the better."
"And whatever result we get, we'll do it together."
"I wouldn't want it any other way."