When You Let Your Heart Win
“Teddy Nichole Parker!”
“What’d I do now?” I mumbled to myself as I rolled out of my bed, typical, and walked down stairs.
“Don’t you know how to keep private, intimate things private?” My mother glared at me as I walked into the living room.
“What are you yapping about?” Her attitude towards me lately has been pissing me off. Actually, pretty much her moving or her breathing pisses me off. Super.
“Your sex tape.” She huffed and my eyes went wide.
“What?!” I yelped and jumped over onto the couch and grabbed her laptop.
“It’s all over the internet. Soon enough it’ll be on the news and in the papers. Teddy…” She stopped and rubbed her forehead. “Why’d you let something like that get out? Let alone, why would you record something so personal?”
“It was for his birthday.” I shrugged. “I don’t have it, so he had to of… ugh!” I stopped and yelled, got up turned towards the stairs and headed for my room.
“Where are you going, young lady?” She asked following me, but staying downstairs. “We need to talk about this before your father finds out.”
“Let him find out.” I yelled. “He’ll find out sooner or later and think I’m a slag all over again.”
“I’m on the phone!” I cut her off and dialed Louis. Waiting for him to pick up, I was thinking of how I’d yell at him. Bitch him out for letting our extremely private moment get out. Ever since the night of his match, he’s been more off than normal. Like he hasn’t tried calling me. He barely texts me anymore. The only time he does is when I’m about to go to sleep and he sends me a ‘goodnight, I love you’ text, and it actually makes me feel better. It get’s me to sleep faster than what it has been since I’ve gotten here eleven days ago. That’s right. I’ve been at my parent’s house for eleven days. It’s so weird being here and around them, but then again, I love it.
“Are you stupid?!” I yelled the second he was quite.
“No, it’s the fucking Pope.” I huffed.
“Calm down so I can actually hear you, please.” He sighed.
“I can’t calm down!”
“No!” I yelled. “You… God, why are you so stupid?” I finally cracked, fell to the floor and cried.
“Bear?” He panicked. “Teddy, what’s wrong?”
“Louis?” I heard El in the background, causing me to shut my mouth and listen. Why is she there? “This might be what’s wrong.”
“Wha… God fucking damnit!” He growled. “Babe, I didn’t do this.”
“You… you are the only on-one who has access to i-it.” I stuttered and covered my mouth.
“You honestly think I’d…” He stopped and I heard something crash on his end. “I’ll call you back.”
“Don’t bother.” I got out.
“You’re killing me, Louis.” I whispered.
“Don’t say that.” He whispered like he was about to cry himself. “Don’t, God, please don’t say that.”
“I-I gotta go.” I rushed and hung up before he could say anything and talk me into a conversation about whatever.
I just can’t stand my life right now.
After a small breakdown, I made it downstairs and talked to my mum and dad, who legitly just walked in the door, about the shit that’s been going on, then I locked myself back in my room, well, I sorta locked myself back in my room and cried. Again. I honestly have no words on how to explain what has been happening in my life right now, I just wish I’d die. I’m going to be the talk of the town, let alone world for however long. I’ll never live this one down. I can already see the headlines for the papers tomorrow morning, ‘Tomlinson’s Sex Tape Leaked: Girlfriend Gets Kinky For 1D Member’s Birthday’ or ‘1D Member Gets The Ride Of A Lifetime.’ Fuck, Teddy, this is no time to joke.
Is my life going to be this dramatic and filled with unnecessary drama just because of being involved with Louis? If so, I don’t think I can take much more of it and with how much I’ve been crying over the past week and a half, I’m surprised I have tears left. I’m surprised I’m not dehydrated with how much water that has come from my eye sockets.
Sometime between my breakdowns and self loathing, I somehow fell asleep, just to be woken up whenever I noticed I was comfortable. Too comfortable. More comfortable I have been since I’ve gotten here. It was weird. It felt different and I sorta didn’t like it, but when I opened my eyes and realised I was in my bedroom with arms wrapped around me. One under me and around my waist and the other thrown over my waist, but the hand was held against where my heart is, it didn’t take long to know it was Louis. The tattoos and the warmth and how familiar he felt gave it away quickly. I wanted to jump up and yell at him, but I honestly don’t believe I have the energy to do anything anymore. He’s practically draining all the energy out of my life and leaving me as a little pile of goo.
“Bear?” He whispered, the rasp of his voice gaving me goosebumps. “I know you’re awake.”
“What are you doing here?” I croaked and cleared my throat before repeating what I said with a better, clearer voice.
“After I got off the phone with you, I jumped in the car and drove here.”
“You didn’t need to.”
“Yes, I did.” He whispered turning me around. “I’m sorry.”
“Why’d you leak that?”
“You honestly think I’d let something like that get leaked?” He whispered pushing my hair from my face.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged feeling my chin start to quiver. “I could have pissed you off enough.”
“You haven’t done anything for me to get pissed.” He fought. “Babe, I swear I did not leak that video.”
“Then who did!” I fought pushing his hands away and moved back and away from him.
“Babe, I have no idea.” He looked like he was telling the truth, but lately, I don’t know what’s his ‘I’m telling the truth’ face or ‘I’m a lying sack of shit’ face. They looked the same back in Cambodia.
“Ba…” He started, but he was stopped by his phone ringing. Whenever he dug it out of his pocket and saw who it was, he turned onto his back, stared up at the ceiling and cursed to himself before tapping the screen to answer whoever it was. “I’m in the middle of something, mate.” He pretty much spat into the receiver but listened to what the person was saying. “You’re kidding me?” He scoffed. “That’s seriously possible?” He stopped again and listened to what the person said. “Hold on, let me put you on speaker so Teddy can hear this and stop accusing me.”
“I’m not accus…” I stopped whenever I heard Paul’s voice through the phone.
“Teddy, I’m sorry this is happening right now, but this is not Louis’ fault. We tracked his phone and all and he did not send it.”
“Then how did the world fucking get it?” I growled as Louis laid his phone on the bed between us.
“Someone hacked his phone.”
“Bullshit.” I huffed and sat up and went to leave, but Louis caught my arm.
“Babe, please.” He pleaded.
“Teddy, I swear on everything I care about, Louis’ phone was hacked. They somehow got into his files and took his photos, videos, contacts, texts, his planner, they even have his apps.” Paul explained.
“How do you call these people your fans?!” I yelled pushing Louis.
“I’m sorry!” He yelled sitting up and grabbed my hand and started to play with my fingers whenever I didn’t pull away. “Can we somehow get this taken down?”
“We can, but I’m sure some fans have downloaded it.”
“Your fans are disgusting.” I shook at the thought of what they’d do with that video. Like you don’t get to see much of him. Probably a five second dick view, but the rest is basically me riding him. Fuck. Now is not the time to be picturing that video and remembering how he feels between my legs.
“What?” I jumped out of my thoughts and blushed, and from the look Louis gave me, he knew what I was thinking about.
“Paul said he’d talk to Simon and the rest of Modest! to see if they can do major damage control.” He said as his eyes stayed on mine.
“O-okay.” I nodded and shook my hand free of his.
“In the meantime, don’t take much notice to it.” Paul spoke.
“Easier said than done.” I huffed.
“O… okay, just don’t go on twitter and talk about it until you hit tweet limit. Make a comment, show it hasn’t affected you much and let it go.”
“I don’t even want to see what they have to say.” I whispered looking up at Louis, just to look away again whenever he was looking at me intensely and made me think of the video all over again. Brain, body, heart, you’re supposed to be mad at him, stop with the lustful thoughts.
“Call me later whenever you figure something out.”
“Will do.” Paul responded. “Sorry again, Teddy.”
“It’s not like you hacked his phone and leaked it.” I mumbled.
“Still. You don’t necessarily need the access drama and stress thrown at you right now.”
“That’s what life’s like being around One Direction.” I shrugged.
“Okay.” He sighed. “I’ll call back whenever there’s something to call about.”
“Alright, mate. Thanks.”
“Bye. Have a good night.”
“Doubt it.” I whispered as Louis hung up, tossed his phone to the side and looked at me.
“Want to go get something to eat?”
“No.” I shook my head and laid back down. “I’d actually rather take a nap.”
“Okay.” He whispered looking down at his hands. “How much have you been sleeping?”
“Depends if I check my phone or not.” I shrugged and rolled onto my side and faced him.
“Oh.” He smiled knowing his texts are doing what he’d hoped they’d do. “Should… should I leave?”
“If you want.” I whispered looking up at him.
“You know very well I don’t want to leave.” He sorta glared at me.
“Then lay down with me.” I patted the mattress in front of me as I started to get more and more comfortable.
“Do you want covered up?”
“Will you move?”
“I’m too comfy.” I shook my head.
“You got any throws laying around?” He asked pushing my hair out of my face, my eyes closing from the softness of his touch.
“Closet.” I replied with my eyes still closed.
“That’s relieving to see.”
“See what?” I asked opening my eyes just to watch him throw a blanket over me before he laid down beside me and faced me.
“You smiling.” He smiled.
“Oh.” I nodded and looked down some.
“When Paul was on the phone…” He stopped and smiled. “Where you thinking of that night?”
“The night we made the video?” I asked and watched him nod. “Guilty as charged.”
“And it made you feel…?”
“Hot.” I answered with complete honesty.
“In which way?”
“You know that answer, so don’t pretend you don’t.” I scrunched my eyebrows together at him.
“Sorry.” He smiled pressing his lips together.
“My turn?” I asked and he nodded.
“Have you watched the video?”
“Yes.” He nodded again and I felt my face heat up.
“How many times have you…”
“Wanked to it?” He cut me off.
“No.” I blushed deeper. “I was going to ask how many times have you watched it.”
“Oh.” He laughed, totally unfazed by it. “A good bit since you’ve been here.”
“Everytime I come just as hard.” He whispered looking me straight in the eye.
“Do you miss me?”
“Like crazy.” He replied within a heartbeat. “I don’t know why you have to ask that.”
“And what if I told you I was ready to go back home, what’d you do?” I asked.
“Kiss you, grab your shit and shove you into my car and drive.” He said moving closer to me.
“What would be different?” I whispered.
“I can’t be with someone who isn’t honest with me.” I said thinking about everything and started to get upset about it all over again.
“Should I leave?”
“Yes.” I nodded and whenever he sat up, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down and moved to cuddle into him. “But right now, I’d like to have a nap and actually enjoy it.”
Whenever I woke up, Louis was gone. And from the warmth still radiating from where he was laying whenever I fell asleep, told me he left not too long ago and it pissed me off. I’m still that girl that can’t have a good night’s sleep/nap without having the lad she loves holding her and the second her body realises he’s gone, she wakes up and can’t get back to sleep. I hate it.
Whenever I sat up and looked around for a note of some sort to say he left, I found nothing. I picked up my phone and hit the home button to see if he left me a text, but again, I got nothing. It’s times like this where I think he doesn’t even care about me.
“Teddy?” My mum knocked on me door.
“Yeah?” I whispered sitting up fully and played with my nails, the nails I need to get refilled or get them taken off before they ruin my nails all together.
“Dinner’s ready if you’re hungry.”
“Make me a plate and put it in the oven?” I asked. “I’m not hungry right now, but I promise to eat it later.”
“Okay.” She sighed and went to leave.
“When did Louis leave?” I asked in a whisper.
“About five minutes ago.” She responded. “He got a call from El. Something about needing a ride to the doctors.”
“Did he say if she’s okay?” I asked sitting up a little straighter and slightly more alert.
“No he didn’t. But I’m sure she’s fine.” She smiled. “He said he’d call whenever he get’s back, so answer the phone when he does.”
“I will.” I smiled.
“Did you two have a good talk?” She smiled back.
“Yeah.” I nodded, the smile not disappearing.
“DId you talk about going back?”
“A little.” I shrugged. “I’d love to go back, but how do I know he isn’t lying about anything else major?”
“You just have to trust him, Teddy.”
“I know, but then we just got back on good terms.” I pointed out. “I don’t want to get up and leave whenever me and him get back on track. I’d feel like I used you for a place to stay.”
“We’re your parents, that’s what children do. They come back and whenever they’re on their feet again, doesn’t matter if it’s a week or five years, they leave and we’re okay with it. Your father and I just want to see you happy.”
“And Louis makes me happy?” I asked looking up at her.
“From the smile that has yet to leave your face, I’d say yes.” She smiled. “You’re going to get over the lie. You’re both working on it. You talking and having a normal conversation with him, is helping with everything. Love has it’s share of fights, but fights just make you ten times stronger. You also learn from them. I’m positive he’s learned from this.”
“And if he hasn’t?”
“Then he needs a little more time. You’ve been here working on two weeks, you’ve seen each other, what? Twice in those two weeks? Give it a couple more days or another week and he’ll be ready. But, baby, he loves you. He was ready to have you back in his arms the second you left Johannah’s house.” My mum is the go to person to go to whenever you have boy problems. She’s like a therapist.
“Do you think I’m meant to be with him?”
“What do your bones say?” She asked.
“What?” I laughed. “My bones don’t speak.”
“Do the tingle? Do they hurt like they’re going to break because you can’t wait to see him?”
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“Then you’re supposed to be with him.” She smiled and turned around.
“How do you know?” I asked before she got too far.
“Because that’s how I felt whenever I met your father.
“Do you still feel that feeling?”
“Everyday.” She nodded. “When you’re with the one you’re supposed to be with, the tingling sensation never goes away. It’s there forever, like their love.”
To say this conversation made me feel 100% better is an understatement.
After awhile, I let me mum go back downstairs as I patted my bed in search for my phone so I could call him and hear his voice, tell him I love him and to say I want to come home, but just as I was about to open our texting field, I got a notification, telling me he just tweeted.
“@Louis_Tomlinson: So we were told last week El would have be induced, but looks like it, she could be here at anytime early next month. I’m so excited :)”
“@Louis_Tomlinson: @wadupelounor El and I are both excited. She’s going to be the cutest kid ever :)”
Well that hurts. Since I’m here, I might as well snoop through his recent tweets. Being away from twitter for two-ish weeks, you miss a lot.
“@Louis_Tomlinson: But at least Bear looks good :)”
“@Louis_Tomlinson: Just found out that your phone CAN be hacked while it’s in your own pocket. Thank you to whoever hacked it and leaked something VERY personal. You threw me even deeper into the dog house”
Oooooh. I guess I should say something as well…
“@TeddyNichole: this is highly embarrassing…”
“@styleitup: @TeddyNichole I bet it is since you’re boyfriend is fucking another girl”
“@TeddyNichole: @styleitup uhm?”
“@styleitup: @TeddyNichole the girl riding him is a chick named Bear”
“@TeddyNichole: @styleitup Louis’ nickname for me is Bear, you idiot”
Why not make a joke out of it, while I’m at it? What’s the harm it can do?
Now I just have to lay here and wait for Louis’ call, which I’m sure would be soon since he got the news about Shay coming sooner than expected. Let the wait start.
slight bad news
i missed a chapter or part of a chapter
i can’t fix it now since i'm already past the part and also because you already know what happens
so if something came up as confusing in this chapter or in upcoming chapters, tell me because i probably missed it whenever i reread/re-edited the chapter and i’ll quickly fix it
btw, this chapter was over 3,000 words xD
for some reason i'm making chapters longer
do i get props for that? :D