When You Let Your Heart Win
“Alright we’re leaving.”
“Okay.” I smiled leaning my head back and watched him come into view, which made me giggle.
“What?” He laughed.
“You look funny upside down.” I’m an idiot.
“Of course.” He shook his head with a smile before leaning down to kiss me. “Don’t get too drunk.”
“I’ll be by myself.” I glared at him. “Getting drunk by yourself is boring.”
“Doesn’t that just suck.” Stan faked being hurt then clapped Louis on the back and looked down at me. “While you’re here pouting, we’ll be getting drunk.”
“You’re an arse.” I rolled my eyes and sat properly.
“Now I pissed her off.” He laughed. “Success.”
“Lucas, one of these days, you’re going to leave here with one ball.” I warned.
“As long as I’m left with one to produce children.” He replied and I snapped my glance to him and looked at him like I was in shock.
“Please don’t joke about that.” I smiled. “There’s not a girl lonely enough to let you touch her, let alone get her pregnant.”
“Before this gets any nastier.” Lou laughed cutting into whatever Stan was going to respond with. “I’m coming home right after the show.”
“Why not?” I looked at him. “Babe, go out.”
“I’m not in the mood.” He shrugged. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Okay.” I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me again. “Have fun.”
“Love you more.” I responded and pulled him back for another peck.
“Alright, let’s not make me feel uncomfortable.” Stan complained, which just made me kiss Louis longer.
“That’s not fair.” Lou pulled back quickly.
“What?” I laughed.
“Now I don’t even want to go.” He frowned.
“Go, you loon.” I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. “Get grandpa here out of here. He stinks.”
“Same to you, babe.” Stan scoffed. “Did you even shower today?”
“I did indeed.” I giggled at the fact he replied to me calling him ‘grandpa.’
“Before harsher words get exchanged…” Lou trailed and walked towards Stan. “I’ll see you later.”
“Love you. Bye.” I spoke over my shoulder before flipping the channels and opted to watch a movie before the show starts in a little over two hours.
After I got home from Niall’s two night ago, Louis was in the bedroom laying down and staring up at the ceiling. I didn’t really want to talk about our fight, but everything had to be said and that’s exactly what happened. I told him everything I was feeling, as did he and we let it go. It’s how it always goes. We fight about it, cool down, then talk it out. It’s basically normal with us. Besides, what’s a relationship without fights? A shit one if you ask me. It means you’re not fighting for the one you want and God knows I want Louis.
Halfway through the movie, I was quite bored. I didn’t want to drink all night and from the way I’m downing this wine, I’ll be drunk before the show even starts and I seriously don’t want to be the girl that sits at home and gets drunk by herself. It’s never a good thing and it makes me feel pathetic.
I needed someone with me. Louis’ at the show with the other boys, Lou’s with the boys because she's their hair dresser, duh, Gemma’s with Harry and Perrie’s in America on tour, so I am unconditionally fucked. I seriously need to make friends or get in touch with my old friends back home, anything will be better than this.
Then I thought it; call Eleanor, invite her over and watch the BRITs. Have some girly time and not be by yourself. You did it before, why not try it out again?
Are you up to anything tonight?
I’ve officially hit desperate.
Nope. Just lounging around and gonna watch the BRITs.
Sigh. Teddy, just do it. Fuck your ego.
Fancy lounging around my place and watch the BRITs?
I’m here by myself. I need some company. Lani can come too if she’d like.
She’s out with her non-pregnant friends… I’ll be over in about ten :)
Awesome. Just walk in.
This night should be interesting to say the least.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” She called while she wobbled in and handed me the popcorn.
“Want some?” I asked as she sat down.
“Not right now.” She shook her head and tried to get comfortable.
“You okay?” I asked scooting over to give her some more room. “You look a little pale.”
“I’ve been sick all day.” She sighed sitting down.
“Is that normal?”
“I guess.” She shrugged. “If I’m still getting sick tomorrow, I’ll call the doctor, but I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Want me to go grab a bin? Like just in case and so you don’t have to get up?”
“I’m fine.” She shook her head and grabbed her water and took a sip. “Thanks anyways though.” She smiled. “To be honest, thanks for inviting me over.”
“Like I said, I wanted someone to hang out with.” I shrugged. “You were sorta my last and only hope.”
“I’m glad you called.” She smiled. “As hard as it is, I’d like to be more than acquaintances with you, Teddy. I’d like to be friends. Don’t you think it’d be easier for Shayla and possibly even Louis?”
“Yeah.” I nodded looking down. “It’ll just take time. Like look at where we were before, we could barely say two words to each other without wanting to rip into each other’s throat.”
“True.” She laughed. “Moving in here sorta helped too.”
“Yeah.” I nodded slightly.
“Like yes it was awkward at first or whenever you and Louis weren’t quiet…”
“What?!” I squeaked.
“Just a time or two.” She laughed. “It’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t stop you two from being intimate.”
“Oh, you did.” I laughed shoving some popcorn in my mouth.
“Sorry.” She apologised.
“No need to be. In time we’ll make up.” I joked with a laugh.
“That’s a load of bull.” She laughed. “I’m sure you guys made up for lost time in Cambodia and the second I moved out.”
“Eh.” I shrugged. “I guess it’s a possibility.”
After a while, our talking subsided, we just sat there in our pjs, eating popcorn or sweets while we laughed at James Corden be a complete mad man. Hell, we even watched him make out with Grimmy. I don’t think Harry approved, but maybe he did, who knows. He’s strange.
The boys won Best British Video as well as the Global Success award, which had El and I happy and excited for them. And now we’ll have to make room for two more awards. Soon enough my old bedroom will be filled with awards. Ha! Could you just imagine that?
Since I was in the mood to see how they felt, I moved and sat on the edge of the couch and opened up my laptop and searched for the link for the winners room to watch what the boys had to say, just something I do yearly.
“Congratulations on the win, boys.” ‘Just in time,’ I thought to myself as I sat back a little, just in case El wanted to watch it as well.
“Thank you.” They smiled. Oh, look, Louis’ not paying attention. Typical
“So, it’s the new year, what was your highlight of 2013?”An interviewer asked. “Harry?”
“Uhm, I’d have to say… I don’t know, probably the movie?” He answered looking at the boys possibly for a better answer. “Or maybe finding out we have a stadium tour this year before the Take Me Home Tour started up?”
“That is a highlight.” The interviewer was heard. “Louis, what about you?” She asked him and he was just standing there playing with a notecard he had in his hands, still not that much paying attention to what was being said, in smaller context, he looked adorable. And slightly drunk.
“Probably getting married.” He smiled and I pretty much stopped breathing.
“What?” The whole room pretty much screamed, including El.
“To Niall!” He snapped his head up, laughed with wide eyes and flung an arm over Niall’s shoulders.
“Oh yeah!” Niall yelled. “It’s a joke, we were mucking around and we got married. Sorry Teddy.”
“Yeah, sorry babe, but look at this Irish lad.” Lou smiled caressing his face cutely. “He’s charmingly handsome.”
“You don’t suspect us to believe that do you?”
“Yeah, do you?” El spat at me.
“Why are you getting all pissy?” I laughed completely dodging the question.
“Because you ran off and got married!” She yelled.
“No we didn’t!” I huffed.
“Bullshit. You two did.” She laughed and got up as fast as she could. “After you two came back from Cambodia, there’s been what? One fight. And you two are more into each other than ever…”
“So what?!” I yelled getting to me feet as well. “We had a great holiday! We had great sex! And you weren’t around to fuck it up!”
“I knew this whole being nice to me was just a game.” She shook her head.
“You actually thought I’d like you?” I laughed in her face. “I’m being nice for Louis’ sake. You are nothing but a slag who got pregnant and trapped my boyfriend into sticking around!” And now is the time I get a big old slap in the face.
“I didn’t ask to get pregnant.” She pointed a finger at me. “And just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean I’m a slag. I was dating Louis whenever I got pregnant, with his child, by the way. You’re the one who’s the slag. You stole him from me.”
“And look at us now.” I laughed. “If it wasn’t for that kid, he’d have nothing to do with you and we wouldn’t have to hide that we did in fact get married.”
“You’re such a bitch.” She shook her head.
“I’ve always been one, why would I change?” I laughed. “Why do you even care if we got married? You’re never getting him back. Doesn’t matter if you’re having his kid or not.”
“At least I got him first.” She smirked. “Just admit it, me being pregnant, by Louis, is wrecking with your head. I bet you even asked him to try for a baby.”
“So what?” I snorted. “At least my kid will grow up with parents who love each other and not because I got pregnant and he felt forced to stick around.”
“He feels like he’s forced to stay?” El whispered.
“Do you know how much this has ruined mine and his relationship?!” I yelled. “Niall told me the other day he thought about abandoning you, but he stayed because he didn’t want Management after his arse because he’s not being the loving man who takes care of unplanned pregnancies.” I snorted out that lie and she bought it. Her face read it and I’ll I’m thinking is good. She deserves to feel a fraction of pain of what I’ve felt these past seven months.
“I’m leaving.” She sniffed and grabbed her phone and jacket, but stopping before she made it to the hall. “Sorry for ruining your relationship, Teddy.” She whispered. “Honestly, I am. Tell him he doesn’t have to be around if he doesn’t want to. Either way, you’re a hateful bitch.”
“Glad to hear something I already know.” I rolled my eyes before she turned back around and left slamming the door behind her.
Now all I ask is, why the fuck do I feel like crying?
“Bear?” Louis called out as soon as he opened the front door.
“Liv…” I stopped and cleared my throat. “Living room.”
“Babe…” He stopped and sighed. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” He apologised plopping down in front of me and pulled me in for a hug.
“It’s okay.” I whispered hugging him back.
“No it’s not.” He said pulling back. “From the looks of it, you were on Twitter.” He frowned wiping my face.
“Actually…” I stopped and sighed. “I invited El over…”
“Because I thought I’d be nice.” I shrugged. “I told you that I need to deal with this, so I called her over to watch the BRITs and have girly time.”
“She wasn’t as thrilled as we were in Cambodia.” I snorted.
“Words were exchanged.” I nodded. “A slap.”
“Teddy, you di…”
“From her.” I cut him off, a little aggravated he thought I’d slap a seven month pregnant woman.
“Sorry.” He apologised. “Are you okay?”
“I deserved it.” I nodded. “I really don’t blame her. I’d slap me too, if I was her.”
“Then why are you crying?” He whispered wiping my face again.
“I said something really rude to her and it was half a lie and now I feel like shit.” I sobbed.
“Why?” He asked scanning my face. “Babe, what’d you say?”
“Niall told me about your talks.” I got out.
“Well I told her that you’ve thought about having nothing to do with her, but I threw in there that you didn’t want Management or fans to chew you a new arsehole.” I looked him in the eye and watched him get pissed. “I’m sorry. I’ll call her tomorrow and tell her I just said it out of spite.”
“I… fuck, Teddy, you have the worst timing with blowing up on people.” He shook his head.
“I’m sorry.” I apologised what felt like the millionth time tonight. “I’ll even go over to her flat and apologise.”
“Stop.” He growled. “Right now, I don’t give a shit about her feelings or having you apologise, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded wiping my face and tried to settle my breathing. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not.” He sighed. “Babe, I just told practically the whole world we got married.”
“It’d come out sooner or later.” I shrugged and grabbed his hand. “We’ll deal with it.”
“Don’t go on twitter until this blows over, please?”
“That’s just proving to the world we did.” I smiled.
“Fuck.” He sighed and sat back on the floor in front of me. “Then don’t go through your mentions or go searching for it.”
“Okay.” I whispered moving down to the floor with him and sat in his lap. “Congratulations on the awards, babe.”
“Thanks.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around me a relaxed some.
“You look really hot.” I admitted. “Not surprising, but I thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks, babe.” He whispered and kissed my shoulder. “Sorry my stupidity ruined your… bonding time with El?” He practically asked.
“We had to start somewhere.” I shrugged. “Now we have to start over again.” I sighed and leaned into him. “One step forward, five jumps backwards.”
“Stop apologising.” I lifted my hand up to his face and caressed his cheek. “Things will get better eventually.”
“I hope that’s soon, to be honest.” He sighed. “Shay’s due here in less than two months and getting the cold shoulder from her mother isn’t going to end well.”
“She wouldn’t keep you away from her.” I scrunched my eyebrows together. “If she does, we’re taking her arse to court.”
“I lov…” He started, but was cut off by the ding coming from his phone. “This is going to be good.” He sighed stretching his leg out and grabbed his phone from his pocket. The second he saw what it was, he looked terrified. “Fuck.”
“What?” I asked as he dropped his phone to his side and looked up at the ceiling. “Babe?”
“We have to go to Doncaster tomorrow.”
“Mum wants to talk.”
alright, ignore that comment i replied to earlier
because of this stupid, life ruining, piece of fucking shit, snow
the concert i was going to tonight got canceled
i'm on the verge of tears
you will kill me