When the Moon Fell in Love with the Sun
Chapter 18: Realizations (part 2)
It took like a second for me to look down, and look up again to see the figure of Harry standing in my doorway.
Why would they get Harry? Besides Kelsey, he was the last person I wanted to talk to.
He was leaning against my door frame, like a boy would waiting for a girl after school. He was wearing a black beanie with a white vneck, jeans, and tennis shoes. As dressed down as he was, he still looked incredibly attractive.
"Absolutely not." I said finally, and went back to my laptop screen.
Danielle came over and shut my laptop. "Look Reyna, I know you probably better than anyone at this school like it or not. And I know one thing for sure about you, it's that your a bottler. You bottle up all your feelings and emotions so that other people won't be affected. Sometimes you just need to empty out, and since you haven't been willing with me, Perrie, or Liam, we had to take different measures. Please just go talk to him. We are only doing this for you."
I stared at all of tem who were convienently staring right back at me.
After a good 30 seconds of silence, I finally agreed.
"Man, don't make it sound like I'm that terrible to talk to." Harry said trying to lighten the tension. It didn't work to well.
I grabbed a jacket, my phone and IPod and headed out the door with Harry.
"So, where exactly are we going?" I asked him.
"Your favorite spot on campus."
"How do you know I have a favorite spot on campus?" I know I did. But I didn't know if he did. He didn't respond to me and we kept on walking, and I finally found out where we were going- the fountain.
Damnit how does he know this is my favorite spot? Ugh.
"How did you know?" I asked him.
"How could you not know? If you're not in your dorm or at the music hall, this is where you go." He had a slight laugh, the kind of laugh that was unsure if it would lighten the mood.
He was right though, if I needed to study, or just be by myself, I always came here. The sound of the rushing water was always relaxing, and it didn't matter whether it was daytime or nighttime to me. Whether it was the feeling of the sun on my face, or the beauty in the stars in the sky. It was always a nice place to go to.
The other thing that crossed my mind was the fact that Harry knew this was/is my favorite spot. I don't even think Niall knew that. I smiled a little looking at that fountain. It felt weird, I guess it had been a couple of days since I have actually truly smiled.
"Don't think I don't see that smile on your face." He said to me and smiled. We sat on the ledge of the fountain in quiet for a moment, then I finally let it burst out.
"How did you know?" I asked him.
"Know what?"
"You know, how did you know I like coming here so much?" I said giggling a little.
"I've done my research."
"Why in the world would you need to know that? I'm pretty sure that's stalking also."
"It's not stalking!" He said laughing. "I just notice you here a lot. And hopefully why I need to know that will happen."
"Alright.." I said.
"So spill. What has been wrong with you. Why don't you do anything like talk, or.. smile." He said staring at me intently.
"I don't know I'm just.. sad."
"That's a little apparent. But why? It's just a break up. They suck, but I mean it gets better."
"I guess so.." I said.
"Why don't you sound so sure on that? You've dated before right?"
I didn't want to say anything, so I didn't. I mean it's embarrassing enough to be 17 and only have had one real boyfriend. It's more embarrassing when it's a guy you've known for 2 months who has probably had more girlfriends or more girls in love with him than you have had crushes even. I didn't want to tell him that's why this breakup wasn't easy to get over.. because I had never experienced it before. So I sat there, and let him figure it out himself.
"Based on the fact that you haven't said anything, I'm assuming this is your first break up."
I started tearing up at this point, I nodded my head yes.
He grabbed the sides of me and looked at me in the eyes.
"Please don't cry, I can't see that."
"I'm sorry, I just feel like I'm handling this whole thing the wrong way. I don't know what I'm doing I just don't know how to deal with all of this and I just miss him and I.." My words grew muffled at that point. I was flat out crying and I didn't even care at that point.
Harry pulled me in and embraced me, he didn't say anything, but just let me cry into his shoulder. He was rubbing my back, playing with my hair, just doing anything to help me calm down. After a good 2 minutes, he finally started talking again.
"Reyna, I know you won't believe me, but I think you're doing fine this being your first break up. They aren't easy, ever. And there isn't really a right way to go about it. Sometimes you need to let it out. And I know you don't believe it know, but things will get better. But you can't be so down on yourself, you and Niall had a great relationship, and now that it's over you can grow from it."
I just sat there leaning into his shoulder for a while longer. The comfort he was giving me was incredible, and just what I needed. Honestly, what he was saying made me want to cry harder. But I contained myself because even though I wanted to cry, they would only be tears of joy.
I leaned back and just looked at him.
"That means more to me than you know. I think I just needed a good cry to someone that really understands. I mean, I'm sure my girlfriends know, but I feel like you kinda get me more." I said to him. He just looked at me and gave me that innocent smile- the one where it is sentimental in the sense that he really wanted me to get better.
I smiled back at him and wiped my face, realizing that I actually had makeup on today and that my mascara was running like crazy.
"Oh my goodness, I look awful. I'm sorry you had to see me like this." I said laughing and cleaning up my mascara.
"Don't apologize, you're beautiful to me."
Heart.. Is... Fluttering... Ahhhh!!!...
I just stared at him. He was biting his lip like he meant to say it, but was taking a risk by doing so. He said it so sincerely, it kind of took me back. It wasn't like he was saying it because I was an easy target, but because he truly meant it. I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back and this time, he dug his head into my shoulder.
"Thank you.. for everything." I whispered into his ear.
He let go and looked back at me.
"I have a surprise for you. I was gonna wait a while, but tonight is the perfect night to show you." He said, his smile growing big.
"Alright, what is it?"
"Well i need to take you somewhere else, but you have to close your eyes."
I looked at him questionably.
"Alright, if you say so." I said laughing.
I closed my eyes, and Harry would make sure every three seconds that they are closed.
Finally we arrived wherever he was taking me.
"Alright, open your eyes."
I opened them, and we were standing right in front of the music hall. Needless to say, I was confused.
"Why are we at the music hall? You don't do aything music oriented."
"That's what you think." He said cheekily, and also biting his lip.
My LORD I LOVE IT WHEN HE BITES HIS LIP. SO. HOT. ...Calm down Reyna.
He grabbed my hand and led me into the door that was propped open with a tiny pebble.
We walked down the hallway, I was surprised that he knew where he was going. He took us into a practice room with a piano.
"Okay, confession time. I've been coming in here at night to learn some things."
What."Really? Why?" I said smiling at him.
"Because I really like the music you show me, and I wanted to find a different way to connect to it."
This is some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard Harry say. Can I get a woop woop for reaching this breakthrough?
"Wow, that's really awesome Harry. I'm impressed."
"That's not even the most important part."
He sat down at the piano, and figured out where his hands were supposed to go.
Then he started playing a piano version of one of my favorite songs: Driven by a Beating Heart by A Silent Film.
As I was waking up
The moon was fading
The folks had gone to ground
The day was breaking
Words don’t come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
At this point, I was taken back it was so good. It was both meaningful, and Harry could sing. I didn't know that, but he was secretly talented.
I sat next to him and started harmonizing with him. His piano skills weren't the best, but you could tell he was working on it a lot.
I don’t believe my eyes
There’s so much beauty here
A song for everyone
A sound for every ear
Words don’t come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
He ended the piano chords, at that point we were both just looking at each other.
We both started to lean in towards each other, to the point where our noses were touching, but not our lips. We just stayed there in that intimate position and let what just happened sort of sink in.
I wanted him to kiss me. I don't know if it was just because I wanted to feel loved, or if the music actually drew me close to him. I could tell he wanted to too. But he just whispered.
"I want to, but I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you."
"I know you wouldn't be."
"I just can't right now."
He leaned back and looked disappointed. I know he wanted to, but I also knew he didn't want to. I felt bad.
I took his face and made him look at me.
"I don't need you to kiss me to have me feel the way I just did. I know you care Harry. Maybe the time will come."
"God, I hope so. Because I know I'm going to regret that when I wake up." He said laughing and looking away.
"I think it's time that I take you back to your dorm." He said to me.
"Good idea."
We both got up and headed out and started heading back to my dorm. Halfway there he grabbed my hand, and I let him. It felt good, and I needed it.
He stopped outside of my dorm and looked at me.
"Told you I would get you to talk." He said with a slight chuckle.
"You did more than that, you got me out of my little funk. And I will forever be grateful for you for that." I said to him smiling.
"Well please sleep well Reyna, I'll be thinking of you. Goodnight." He sid letting go of my hand and starting to walk away.
"Goodnight Harry," I ran up to him and kissed his cheek, "thank you."
He kissed my forehead. "Night."
He smiled and walked away.
I headed up to my room and opened the door as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake up Danielle.
She rolled over and saw me with my little slight smile.
"I told you he would work. I want details tomorow, night girly." She said in a very tired sounding voice and went back to sleep.
I got ready for bed and put in my headphones and get ready to sleep.
Amid listening toNox Aurumque I made a little realization. Maybe I wasn't truly happy because I was to busy praising the light to see the beauty that darkness had to offer. Even though light can bring so much joy into one's life, darkness brings a feeling of tranquilizing beauty.
In relation to my situation, Niall was my sunshine, and was aways able to brighten my day and make me feel like a million bucks. He was my sun, and I was his. And as much as I loved and cared for him, I know nothing was really going to go beyond that. But Harry was different. He had a lot hidden underneath his hard exterior. There was so much more to him than you could see at just a glance. You had to really take a good look to fully understand, like you would while stargazing. But the thing about Harry was even within all this darkness he still had a sense of light in him; like the moon.
Why would they get Harry? Besides Kelsey, he was the last person I wanted to talk to.
He was leaning against my door frame, like a boy would waiting for a girl after school. He was wearing a black beanie with a white vneck, jeans, and tennis shoes. As dressed down as he was, he still looked incredibly attractive.
"Absolutely not." I said finally, and went back to my laptop screen.
Danielle came over and shut my laptop. "Look Reyna, I know you probably better than anyone at this school like it or not. And I know one thing for sure about you, it's that your a bottler. You bottle up all your feelings and emotions so that other people won't be affected. Sometimes you just need to empty out, and since you haven't been willing with me, Perrie, or Liam, we had to take different measures. Please just go talk to him. We are only doing this for you."
I stared at all of tem who were convienently staring right back at me.
After a good 30 seconds of silence, I finally agreed.
"Man, don't make it sound like I'm that terrible to talk to." Harry said trying to lighten the tension. It didn't work to well.
I grabbed a jacket, my phone and IPod and headed out the door with Harry.
"So, where exactly are we going?" I asked him.
"Your favorite spot on campus."
"How do you know I have a favorite spot on campus?" I know I did. But I didn't know if he did. He didn't respond to me and we kept on walking, and I finally found out where we were going- the fountain.
Damnit how does he know this is my favorite spot? Ugh.
"How did you know?" I asked him.
"How could you not know? If you're not in your dorm or at the music hall, this is where you go." He had a slight laugh, the kind of laugh that was unsure if it would lighten the mood.
He was right though, if I needed to study, or just be by myself, I always came here. The sound of the rushing water was always relaxing, and it didn't matter whether it was daytime or nighttime to me. Whether it was the feeling of the sun on my face, or the beauty in the stars in the sky. It was always a nice place to go to.
The other thing that crossed my mind was the fact that Harry knew this was/is my favorite spot. I don't even think Niall knew that. I smiled a little looking at that fountain. It felt weird, I guess it had been a couple of days since I have actually truly smiled.
"Don't think I don't see that smile on your face." He said to me and smiled. We sat on the ledge of the fountain in quiet for a moment, then I finally let it burst out.
"How did you know?" I asked him.
"Know what?"
"You know, how did you know I like coming here so much?" I said giggling a little.
"I've done my research."
"Why in the world would you need to know that? I'm pretty sure that's stalking also."
"It's not stalking!" He said laughing. "I just notice you here a lot. And hopefully why I need to know that will happen."
"Alright.." I said.
"So spill. What has been wrong with you. Why don't you do anything like talk, or.. smile." He said staring at me intently.
"I don't know I'm just.. sad."
"That's a little apparent. But why? It's just a break up. They suck, but I mean it gets better."
"I guess so.." I said.
"Why don't you sound so sure on that? You've dated before right?"
I didn't want to say anything, so I didn't. I mean it's embarrassing enough to be 17 and only have had one real boyfriend. It's more embarrassing when it's a guy you've known for 2 months who has probably had more girlfriends or more girls in love with him than you have had crushes even. I didn't want to tell him that's why this breakup wasn't easy to get over.. because I had never experienced it before. So I sat there, and let him figure it out himself.
"Based on the fact that you haven't said anything, I'm assuming this is your first break up."
I started tearing up at this point, I nodded my head yes.
He grabbed the sides of me and looked at me in the eyes.
"Please don't cry, I can't see that."
"I'm sorry, I just feel like I'm handling this whole thing the wrong way. I don't know what I'm doing I just don't know how to deal with all of this and I just miss him and I.." My words grew muffled at that point. I was flat out crying and I didn't even care at that point.
Harry pulled me in and embraced me, he didn't say anything, but just let me cry into his shoulder. He was rubbing my back, playing with my hair, just doing anything to help me calm down. After a good 2 minutes, he finally started talking again.
"Reyna, I know you won't believe me, but I think you're doing fine this being your first break up. They aren't easy, ever. And there isn't really a right way to go about it. Sometimes you need to let it out. And I know you don't believe it know, but things will get better. But you can't be so down on yourself, you and Niall had a great relationship, and now that it's over you can grow from it."
I just sat there leaning into his shoulder for a while longer. The comfort he was giving me was incredible, and just what I needed. Honestly, what he was saying made me want to cry harder. But I contained myself because even though I wanted to cry, they would only be tears of joy.
I leaned back and just looked at him.
"That means more to me than you know. I think I just needed a good cry to someone that really understands. I mean, I'm sure my girlfriends know, but I feel like you kinda get me more." I said to him. He just looked at me and gave me that innocent smile- the one where it is sentimental in the sense that he really wanted me to get better.
I smiled back at him and wiped my face, realizing that I actually had makeup on today and that my mascara was running like crazy.
"Oh my goodness, I look awful. I'm sorry you had to see me like this." I said laughing and cleaning up my mascara.
"Don't apologize, you're beautiful to me."
Heart.. Is... Fluttering... Ahhhh!!!...
I just stared at him. He was biting his lip like he meant to say it, but was taking a risk by doing so. He said it so sincerely, it kind of took me back. It wasn't like he was saying it because I was an easy target, but because he truly meant it. I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back and this time, he dug his head into my shoulder.
"Thank you.. for everything." I whispered into his ear.
He let go and looked back at me.
"I have a surprise for you. I was gonna wait a while, but tonight is the perfect night to show you." He said, his smile growing big.
"Alright, what is it?"
"Well i need to take you somewhere else, but you have to close your eyes."
I looked at him questionably.
"Alright, if you say so." I said laughing.
I closed my eyes, and Harry would make sure every three seconds that they are closed.
Finally we arrived wherever he was taking me.
"Alright, open your eyes."
I opened them, and we were standing right in front of the music hall. Needless to say, I was confused.
"Why are we at the music hall? You don't do aything music oriented."
"That's what you think." He said cheekily, and also biting his lip.
My LORD I LOVE IT WHEN HE BITES HIS LIP. SO. HOT. ...Calm down Reyna.
He grabbed my hand and led me into the door that was propped open with a tiny pebble.
We walked down the hallway, I was surprised that he knew where he was going. He took us into a practice room with a piano.
"Okay, confession time. I've been coming in here at night to learn some things."
What."Really? Why?" I said smiling at him.
"Because I really like the music you show me, and I wanted to find a different way to connect to it."
This is some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard Harry say. Can I get a woop woop for reaching this breakthrough?
"Wow, that's really awesome Harry. I'm impressed."
"That's not even the most important part."
He sat down at the piano, and figured out where his hands were supposed to go.
Then he started playing a piano version of one of my favorite songs: Driven by a Beating Heart by A Silent Film.
As I was waking up
The moon was fading
The folks had gone to ground
The day was breaking
Words don’t come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
At this point, I was taken back it was so good. It was both meaningful, and Harry could sing. I didn't know that, but he was secretly talented.
I sat next to him and started harmonizing with him. His piano skills weren't the best, but you could tell he was working on it a lot.
I don’t believe my eyes
There’s so much beauty here
A song for everyone
A sound for every ear
Words don’t come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
There’s people, people going out of their minds
Run into each other’s arms
But I only want to be with you, with you
There’s people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
He ended the piano chords, at that point we were both just looking at each other.
We both started to lean in towards each other, to the point where our noses were touching, but not our lips. We just stayed there in that intimate position and let what just happened sort of sink in.
I wanted him to kiss me. I don't know if it was just because I wanted to feel loved, or if the music actually drew me close to him. I could tell he wanted to too. But he just whispered.
"I want to, but I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you."
"I know you wouldn't be."
"I just can't right now."
He leaned back and looked disappointed. I know he wanted to, but I also knew he didn't want to. I felt bad.
I took his face and made him look at me.
"I don't need you to kiss me to have me feel the way I just did. I know you care Harry. Maybe the time will come."
"God, I hope so. Because I know I'm going to regret that when I wake up." He said laughing and looking away.
"I think it's time that I take you back to your dorm." He said to me.
"Good idea."
We both got up and headed out and started heading back to my dorm. Halfway there he grabbed my hand, and I let him. It felt good, and I needed it.
He stopped outside of my dorm and looked at me.
"Told you I would get you to talk." He said with a slight chuckle.
"You did more than that, you got me out of my little funk. And I will forever be grateful for you for that." I said to him smiling.
"Well please sleep well Reyna, I'll be thinking of you. Goodnight." He sid letting go of my hand and starting to walk away.
"Goodnight Harry," I ran up to him and kissed his cheek, "thank you."
He kissed my forehead. "Night."
He smiled and walked away.
I headed up to my room and opened the door as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake up Danielle.
She rolled over and saw me with my little slight smile.
"I told you he would work. I want details tomorow, night girly." She said in a very tired sounding voice and went back to sleep.
I got ready for bed and put in my headphones and get ready to sleep.
Amid listening toNox Aurumque I made a little realization. Maybe I wasn't truly happy because I was to busy praising the light to see the beauty that darkness had to offer. Even though light can bring so much joy into one's life, darkness brings a feeling of tranquilizing beauty.
In relation to my situation, Niall was my sunshine, and was aways able to brighten my day and make me feel like a million bucks. He was my sun, and I was his. And as much as I loved and cared for him, I know nothing was really going to go beyond that. But Harry was different. He had a lot hidden underneath his hard exterior. There was so much more to him than you could see at just a glance. You had to really take a good look to fully understand, like you would while stargazing. But the thing about Harry was even within all this darkness he still had a sense of light in him; like the moon.
http://heledis.com/
12/10/13