Dance For Me?
Dance 1
Chapter 1: Prologue
My feet were sore but it was a good kind of sore, my legs ached but it was a wonderful ache. My arms felt like noodles and I really hope that I did good. I finished off with a series of fouettes and I let myself stop in perfect position. I wiped the sweat off my forehead as I looked up at Mr Parks with hopeful eyes. He looked me up and down before tsking at me his mouth set into a frown. Instantly I felt the little hope I had in my chest withered away along with my confidence.
“Louis that was sloppy those last fouettes were just terrible.” he started, I watched as he ran a hand through his dark black hair and I immediately got tense. Because every time he does that's when the criticizing starts and it was never good. He walked towards me watching me like a hawk, he tapped my foot and tsked.
“Your toes are not pointed enough...I thought we practiced this.” Mr. Parks stated. I let my gaze fall to my toes...I was pretty sure I had my toes pointed the whole time. I heard him sigh before backing up and going over to pick up his bag.
“I just don't know what to do with you Louis.” he said shaking his head. I ran over to him grabbing the back of his shirt, “It wasn't that bad was I was so sure that I had it this time...please just give me a chance.” I cried, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
Mr. Parks shook his head and turned around, “Listen Louis you are a great dancer you know that, I know, but lately you've lost you're spark Lou...your slipping and I know I'm your teacher but I think you need another perspective.” he stated.
Now I was confused I've been working one on one with him for a while now. Now he's telling me that need more help? And yes there are some things going on outside of the studio but I try to keep it at bay. I sighed before looking up at him again, “So what does that mean for me....am I ever going to get that solo?” I asked softly.
Mr. Parks shook his head once again, “Your just not ready Louis...now lucky for you I have someone that can help you out.” he said. I started to object, I didn't need somebody I barely know try to tell me how to dance...I know how to dance. He raised his hand silencing whatever I was about to say.
“Now he's coming by Friday and you need to be in the studio at two.” Mr. Parks explained.
This wasn't good, that's way to early, “But I have classes then can't yo--”Make it work Lou.” was Mr. Parker said before leaving. Balling my fists I reeled my foot back and kicked my bag across the room. This I ridiculous, why does it feel like everything I do is never good enough. It's always me I can never do anything right and I hate it.
My dad resents me because I'm a dancer.
People at Uni hate me because I'm dancer.
Because I'm a dancer people think I'm gay....which I'm not.
I'm such a perfectionist that I tend to over-think sometimes when I dance.
When I get something wrong I get angry then try to fix so that it sooo precise and perfect that there's no way that I can get it wrong again. However Mr. Parks always finds a way to down my mood, telling me that I need to do this and I need to do that....I just can't win. Why can't he understand that I'm trying, trying so fucking hard that it hurts. Saying that I lost my spark..... and after two years of being here, he still doesn't realize that I never had a spark to begin with.
Rubbing a frustrating hand through my hair I grabbed my bag and hefted on my shoulder. Now I have to go to my music teacher and explain to her why I won't be in her class tomorrow. She doesn't even like me which makes the situation all the more worse.
Like I said I'm never enough...can't please anybody.
My feet were sore but it was a good kind of sore, my legs ached but it was a wonderful ache. My arms felt like noodles and I really hope that I did good. I finished off with a series of fouettes and I let myself stop in perfect position. I wiped the sweat off my forehead as I looked up at Mr Parks with hopeful eyes. He looked me up and down before tsking at me his mouth set into a frown. Instantly I felt the little hope I had in my chest withered away along with my confidence.
“Louis that was sloppy those last fouettes were just terrible.” he started, I watched as he ran a hand through his dark black hair and I immediately got tense. Because every time he does that's when the criticizing starts and it was never good. He walked towards me watching me like a hawk, he tapped my foot and tsked.
“Your toes are not pointed enough...I thought we practiced this.” Mr. Parks stated. I let my gaze fall to my toes...I was pretty sure I had my toes pointed the whole time. I heard him sigh before backing up and going over to pick up his bag.
“I just don't know what to do with you Louis.” he said shaking his head. I ran over to him grabbing the back of his shirt, “It wasn't that bad was I was so sure that I had it this time...please just give me a chance.” I cried, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
Mr. Parks shook his head and turned around, “Listen Louis you are a great dancer you know that, I know, but lately you've lost you're spark Lou...your slipping and I know I'm your teacher but I think you need another perspective.” he stated.
Now I was confused I've been working one on one with him for a while now. Now he's telling me that need more help? And yes there are some things going on outside of the studio but I try to keep it at bay. I sighed before looking up at him again, “So what does that mean for me....am I ever going to get that solo?” I asked softly.
Mr. Parks shook his head once again, “Your just not ready Louis...now lucky for you I have someone that can help you out.” he said. I started to object, I didn't need somebody I barely know try to tell me how to dance...I know how to dance. He raised his hand silencing whatever I was about to say.
“Now he's coming by Friday and you need to be in the studio at two.” Mr. Parks explained.
This wasn't good, that's way to early, “But I have classes then can't yo--”Make it work Lou.” was Mr. Parker said before leaving. Balling my fists I reeled my foot back and kicked my bag across the room. This I ridiculous, why does it feel like everything I do is never good enough. It's always me I can never do anything right and I hate it.
My dad resents me because I'm a dancer.
People at Uni hate me because I'm dancer.
Because I'm a dancer people think I'm gay....which I'm not.
I'm such a perfectionist that I tend to over-think sometimes when I dance.
When I get something wrong I get angry then try to fix so that it sooo precise and perfect that there's no way that I can get it wrong again. However Mr. Parks always finds a way to down my mood, telling me that I need to do this and I need to do that....I just can't win. Why can't he understand that I'm trying, trying so fucking hard that it hurts. Saying that I lost my spark..... and after two years of being here, he still doesn't realize that I never had a spark to begin with.
Rubbing a frustrating hand through my hair I grabbed my bag and hefted on my shoulder. Now I have to go to my music teacher and explain to her why I won't be in her class tomorrow. She doesn't even like me which makes the situation all the more worse.
Like I said I'm never enough...can't please anybody.
