As I wake up I am greeted by Harry’s green eyes. I give him a smile as I stretch as best I can in such a tiny space. “Good morning, beautiful.” he says after kissing me on the forehead. “Good morning, handsome.” I reply. It causes him to look down and blush.

“Did you sleep well?” he asks as he looks back at me once more. “Of course I did. I had you right next to me.” he brings me in close to him, and I bury my head in his chest. I take a deep breath as I take in the smell of his cologne.

“I guess we better get up. It’s only 9:00, but I want to spend every moment I can with you.” he says with a smile. I smile back, but mainly because his dimples are showing and I could never not smile when I see them. The other part of me, however; is caught up by the second half of his sentence. I know he meant nothing by it, I just hate any sort of reminder that we only have a limited time to be with each other.

I go to change in a bathroom while Harry stays in his room. By the time I am done, I find Harry in the kitchen. He has already begun to cook. “You know, cooking is a good quality in a guy.” I tell him as I sit down on a stool in front of the island/bar that is in the middle of the kitchen.

“Oh, really?” he replies with a smirk. “Yeah really. You know what else is a good quality? A guy that plays the guitar and sings.” He rolls his eyes as he cracks some eggs. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist. I rest my head against his back as I look out the window above the sink.

“What else would you like to eat?” Harry asks. “Do you have any muffins?” I ask. He tells me where they are, and I go get them; a blueberry one for both of us. By the time I set them on two different plates, the eggs are almost done.

“I can do that, babe.” I say as he starts to cook the bacon. “I got it.” he replies. “But I want to help do something!” I say as I fold my arms. “You can help me make pancakes.” he says with a smile before kissing me lightly on the lips.

I make tea, and by the time I am through, so is the bacon. Harry tells me all of the ingredients we need, and I gather them up. I mix some dry ingredients in a bowl before adding the liquid stuff. He starts pouring small portions of the mix onto the pan and soon, we are almost done making pancakes. We add chocolate chips after a while.

We set our plates on the island in the middle of the kitchen, and begin to eat. I begin to stare out of the window as light begins to come in. I know it’s probably cold out, but it looks so nice and warm.

I look to Harry who is cutting up his pancake. I swear, it’s like everything he does is adorable. “What?” he asks when he catches me staring. “Nothing.” I reply with embarrassment.

Once his attention is back to his food, I look over at him again. The sun is shining on him more now, and I literally feel at awe at how beautiful he really is. I know that I am still quite young, and I shouldn’t be thinking about this kind of stuff right now, but…I can’t help but to think about how nice it would be to wake up and see his face every morning.

After we finish eating, we decide to go see a movie at the cinema. Once that was over, we went to the mall. I really wanted another pair of boots. “What do you think about these?” I ask as I look down at them. They are black combat boots with some spikes on them. “I really like them. They’re very…sharp. Ya see what I did there?” he asks with a smile.

“Very funny.” I reply before adding, “Are you sure that you don’t want to get another pair of boots?” He begins to shake his head. “Of course not. And get rid of these?” He begins to show them off proudly. I laugh as I see how completely worn out they are.

“Babe, there are holes in them. Like, more than one.” He examines them more as well before getting a look on his face like a child does when they are upset. “But I love my boots.” I look at him sympathetically and he in response, pouts.

“Aww.” I say as I walk up to him and grab his hands. “I’m sorry. I love your boots too.” He laughs in reply. “But not as much as you love me, right?”

“Of course not.” I tell him. I am amazed at how easy it is to accept that I love him. It was just the other day when I was terrified merely by the thought.

We go to a few more shops, and in one, Harry buys me a necklace. “It’s beautiful.” I tell him when he shows me. He had bought it when I was off by myself looking around. “I’m glad you like it.” he says while draping the small silver chain around my neck. “I almost asked you what you thought before I bought it.”

After the necklace was hooked, I held it in my hand and looked down at it. I traced my finger on the thin silver heart with three light blue diamond like embellishments.

“You are so sweet. You know that, right?” He gives me a cheeky smile and I begin to laugh.

“Thank you very much.” I add before he gives me a quick hug.

By the time we get through shopping, it’s time for dinner. I was cool with going to a fast food place, but Harry insisted that we go to a more fancy restaurant. He also refused to let me pay.
As if that wasn’t enough, he decides that we should go for a ride in a horse driven carriage. “I know that it is really cold, but I promise to keep you warm.” he told me when he brought up the idea.

And so he did. As we huddled close together while the horse walked slowly but steadily, I felt like I was in a movie. The street lights shined bright in the dark night.

I feel Harry’s gaze on me so I turn to look at him. I barely focus on him when his lips meet mine. His warm lips are especially nice out in the cold. “I love you.” he says quietly and tenderly. The warmth that I felt when he said those words last night quickly fill my entire body. “I love you.” I reply.

We’re both getting tired by the time we get back to his house, but not tired enough to go to sleep. Besides, it’s only a little after nine. “I want to do something fun…and…different.” he says as we try to figure out what to do the rest of the evening. We could have gone back to my home, but we thought it would be nice to stay in his home for a change. Especially since we won’t get to do it again for who knows how long once his family comes back.

“I’ve got it.” he says standing up from the couch. “What?” I ask. I can tell he is quite excited, which only makes my curiosity even stronger. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” I stay seated on the couch and begin to flip through channels on television. After a few minutes he comes back with some blankets, pillows, and…an inflatable mattress?

“What on earth…” I say while laughing. “It will all make sense in a second.” he says while dropping everything but the inflatable mattress. He begins to blow it up. It takes a while, but he eventually does it. “Good job.” I say when he finishes. “You want to explain what you’re doing now?”

He doesn’t answer me. Instead he asks me to stand up and move to the kitchen. I do as he says without questioning him. He moves the ottoman that is directly in front of the couch towards the wall. The mattress is then placed on the floor; the longest side is right against the couch.

I stand silently as he takes two chairs from the dining room table and puts them in front of the mattress. The backs of the chairs are facing the couch. By this time, I have figured out what he is doing. I smile from ear to ear.

Taking the largest blanket, he throws it across the chairs and over the couch, causing a roof over the mattress. He holds it in place by securing it to the chairs with a rubber band. Just as I begin to speak, he disappears into what is now a little fort. He took the rest of the blankets and pillows with him.

He soon appears once again and walks over to me. “Well, what do you think?” he asks. “I think it’s perfect!” I reply grabbing his hand. I lead us over to the fort and get inside. One blanket is now covering the mattress, and a few more are covering where the floor should be. Pillows are on both the floor and mattress. It looks so cozy in here.

I sit down with my legs stretched out in front of me. Harry sits next to me and pulls me close to him. I rest my head on his shoulder as he grabs a blanket and covers us up.

I let out a sigh as I nuzzle my head on his chest. I have never been more comfortable anywhere else in the world. I close my eyes and almost begin to drift off into sleep. That is, until the sound of Harry’s voice brings me back.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

I’m thrown back by the randomness of the question. It’s kind of serious, too. I’m sure he is just trying to come up with something to talk about, but the way he says it…it’s like he’s been thinking about this for a while.

And besides that, shouldn’t he realize that I don’t like talking about the future?

“I honestly don’t know.” I reply after much thought. “What about you?” I ask. I am really curious. There’s a long silence before he finally answers. “In ten years, I want to be…happy.”

“Happy?”

“Yes.” he replies simply.

“What kind of job do you hope to have?” I ask. “I wish I knew. Music is my passion, but…”

“But what?” I say interrupting him.

“Come on, Megan. What are the chances of me having a career in music? I could be a music teacher, of course; that’s not what I want to do with my life, though.” I can tell he is being quite serious, and the more I realize this, the more I wish that I could make everything better.

“I want to go to America one day.” he states after some more silence. “You will.” I reply as he begins to stroke my hair.

“Megan?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think that we will still be in each others lives in ten years?” A lump forms in my throat and a knot in my stomach. He is literally asking me all of the things that I try to so desperately keep out of my mind every single day.

I hear him swallow out of what I assume is either nervousness or holding back tears as he waits for my reply. That only makes things worse for me.

I want to tell him yes. But can I? I don’t know where I’ll be in ten years. Alive, hopefully. I just…we are going our separate ways in months. I know that for some, long distance relationships work, but…who knows how long it will be before we could be together again. There is no way he would wait for me that long.

Why would he?

I could lie. But lying would just make things worse. So instead of really answering, I say, “I don’t know where I’ll be a ten years. I don’t know where I’ll be in ten months. All I know is that right now…in this moment…I am with you. And that is all that really matters.”

My head had still been resting on his chest up until this point. I could feel a tear stream down my face, but despite that, I sat up more to look at Harry. I had to. I need to see the look on his face.
It only took me a second to see that he had shed a tear as well. My heart immediately sinks to my stomach. I feel like I am going to be sick. I feel this way for many reasons, but the cause is mainly from something I just realized.

He loves me. He really, truly, loves me.

I may sound stupid, but when you are someone like me…someone who has never felt loved or wanted…someone who has always had a horrible self esteem…I guess for me it just took a bit longer to sink in.

I can not deny it now, though; as I look into his piercing green eyes that are filled to the brim with tears that look ready to fall at any moment. As we sit here on his living room floor embraced as close as possible.

It’s killing me.

Harry suddenly pulls me close to him and cradles me in his arms. His grip is tight, and I grip back just as tight. I let my tears flow as soon as my face is hidden again.

I am so stupid.

All this time I was worried about getting attached to Harry and getting hurt, when I never even thought about the possibility of hurting him. I am the worst person ever. How could I be so selfish? How could I only care about myself so much?

“I love you, Megan.” he tells me quietly into my ear. It’s barely above a whisper. For some reason, that makes it worse. “I love you, Harry.” I reply as soon as I think I am capable of speaking without letting him noticing how badly I am crying.

We stop talking for the longest time. We just continued to hold each other as tight as possible. It felt as if we were both afraid if we let go of our grip just a bit, the other would disappear into thin air.

I don’t know how much time went by, but once we let go of our grip, I looked Harry in the face once more. He was starting to look more like his normal, happy self again.

I was suddenly very aware by how quickly things turned from happy to so sad. I don’t want things to be this way. I want him to be happy; even if I have to fake it.

I try giving him a half smile. Mainly because that’s all I can manage right now. “Come on, now. How did we end up like this? Tonight is suppose to be fun.” I say in the cheeriest voice possible.
He smiles back, and I feel a great sense of relief. It seems genuine as well.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He kisses my lips lightly before moving slowly down to my neck. After a while, his lips are back to mine again.

I can not help but to smile as soon as we part. “Did that make the night fun again?” he asks with a smirk. “Definitely.” I reply.

We continue to kiss for a while before I once again have my head rested on his chest. My eyes become heavy, so I close them. I must begin drifting in and out of sleep, because without even realizing it, we are now lying down on the mattress.

Harry is against the couch and has an arm wrapped around me. There is a blanket over us as well as a pillow for each of us under our heads. I turn to face him, but only to find out that he is fast asleep.

With his arm still around me, I do the same to him. I am somehow more awake now, and begin to watch him. He isn’t snoring, but his mouth is slightly open, and I can hear him breathing lightly. I watch his chest rise and fall with each heart beat.

I push some of his hair behind his ear to get a better look at him. He looks so peaceful.
I kiss him lightly on the forehead. Luckily, he doesn’t wake up. “I love you, Harry.” I say as quietly as a whisper; maybe even quieter.

I rest my head back down on the pillow and against his chest. I close my eyes, but it takes me a while to actually fall asleep. I can feel myself go in and out of consciousness before I am fully asleep.

It was during one of those in and out times that I thought I heard Harry say something. It might have been just a dream, though. Either way, it sounded like, “Don’t let me go.”