“What do you want to know?" I ask. “Tell me more about your childhood." he says with a smile. I smile back, but I do not feel like smiling at all. “Well…like I said, my dad is not around anymore. He left my mom not long after having me. She was just a teenager, by the way."

Harry’s smile has faded now as he hears the more serious tone in my voice. I’m not trying to. In fact, I do not want this to be serious at all. But for some reason, I just can not manage to make it sound like this is all not a big deal. Because it is.

“Oh, wow…sorry, Megan." he says. “How about we just skip all of that and get to some happy stuff." I let out a laugh. “What?" he asks. If I told him the truth, I would say that I find it funny that I can’t really think of any truly happy moments in my life. Not many, anyway. So instead I say, “Nothing. I just think that’s a good idea."

He smiled. “But…it probably won’t get any better." I let out for some reason. His smile fades once more. “Aww, come on. How was your childhood? I know that you move a lot and don’t really like it, but it’s got to be kind of exciting, right?"

“Or…not." he says in reply to the look I gave him. I did not do it on purpose, I swear. I guess it was just my immediate reaction without thinking. I quickly try to soften my look.

“I’m sorry, Harry. It’s just…I move every year. Every single year. That means a new school every year. New people every year. You would think that would be exciting in a way, but it’s not. It’s anything but; in fact. I mean…I meet all of these people…all these different people in different states and countries, but it’s like they’re all the same. The same personalities, same attitudes, same cliques. And it gets old. It gets so old so fast.

And it’s like no matter what I do I can never get close to anyone. I mean, I could; maybe…but they leave. Or I leave. I have Chloe, she is my only friend, but I have not seen her in person since I was six. Six. How crazy is that?

Then there is my mom. Oh, do not even get me started on her. I never see her. Never talk to her. She is always gone. Always doing something for work. She doesn’t have to, you know? She chooses it. She chooses to abandon her own daughter. She managed to somehow become a big deal for the company she works for and is apparently great at helping start new businesses. That is why we move every year. Every year we go somewhere new and she helps them get the business started there. But they do not need her. Not really. They have plenty of other people for that.

And on top of all of that, she expects me to join her. Crazy, right? Not to her, though. There is no telling what will happen if I go against her. And she wonders why I am the way I am…a loner. She drove me to this. We could have a normal life. But no, that isn’t what she wants. And yet she blames me. Says I need to get friends.

I don’t think she even realizes how close to the edge I really am…was…am…whatever. I could have killed myself. I could be dead right now, and she hasn’t the slightest clue. Thing is…there is honestly no telling how long it would have taken her to realize I was gone. Would she have? It wouldn’t have taken her long to get over it and work again…actually, she probably wouldn’t have even missed a single day. And if I’m completely honest, I wonder if she would even care…"

I feel numb. Did I really say all of that out loud? And to Harry? I regret it. I want to take it all back. Make him unhear me spilling out my guts to him. I try to speak, but the words get lost as I try to open my mouth.

Just as I am about to finally speak, I get cut off by Harry who has grasped both my hands in his. It is not until then that I realize that during my long talk I had gotten much closer to him. His face is mere inches from mine.

“Megan…look at me." he says softly. I had been staring at the ground. “Please, Megan. Just look at me. Just for a second." Reluctantly, I look up. I immediately am met by his piercing green eyes that stare deeply into mine. The look is serious and intense. I want to look away, but at the same time; I feel compelled to continue looking.

“I am about to say something. I want you to listen. I want you to listen, and I want you to remember it. Also, understand that what I am about to say, I mean. I am not just saying it to say it. I truly mean it with all of my heart. Do you understand?" he asks softly. I give a quick nod yes as I my heart begins to feel like it is about to beat right out of my chest.

He looks silently into my eyes just a moment longer before saying, “Megan…I care."

My mind goes blank as I try to respond. The fast beating of my heart makes it hard for me to think and I literally feel at a loss for words. As I begin to open my mouth in hopes that something will manage to come out, I feel a single tear fall down my cheek. That, I quickly respond to.

In mere seconds I am up on my feet, out of the room, and in the bathroom down the hall. As soon as I am there I lock the door behind me. Another immediate thing to happen are more tears. And a lot of them. Why? I am not exactly sure. I sit on the floor against the wall and bury my face in my knees just as Harry knocks on the door. “Megan! Megan, are you alright? Please open the door."

I should open the door. I really should. He is probably worried I’m going to harm myself in here or something. Calm down. I need to calm down. I take some deep breaths and wipe my face off with a wash cloth. Great, my make up is now gone. I fix my hair, take some more deep breaths, then open the door.

Just as I am about to apologize for my ridiculous behavior, Harry suddenly pulls me close into a tight hug. I almost speak, but instead return in reply with a tight grip as well. “Megan, please…do not just run off like that. You really scared me." he says with his mouth right next to my ear. Its sends shivers down my spine.

“I’m sorry. I understand. I just…I’ve never talked to anyone like that. Well…Chloe a bit, but…not exactly like that, and not in a long time. I’m just…it just…" he pulls back but still has his arms tight around my waist.

“It’s alright, Megan. I understand. And we can stop talking now." he says. “No. Let’s keep talking." I reply, shocking even myself. “I actually…kind of…like it?" We both laugh a bit. “Alright, whatever you want to do is fine by me." Harry says as we make our way back to my room.

I sit down on the floor with my back against the bed. Harry sits across from me. “So..do you have anything in particular you want to talk about?" Harry asks. I think for a moment before replying, “I can’t think of anything in particular right now. How about you just ask me some stuff."

“On the first day of school when you passed out, do you know why that happened?" \

Hmm…good question. “Honestly? I guess it was just an anxiety thing. I’ve always had anxiety about going to new schools, but it has never been that bad before. So…I’m not really sure why it was so bad this time." I reply. It’s funny…I never once questioned why it happened until now.

“When did you first start feeling the anxiety?" he asks. “When I was on the bus. And once it started, it just kept getting worse." I replied. I kind of want to change topics. I do not really like thinking back to that day.

“Wait, so…you started feeling bad on the bus, but still made it to the lobby? I’m surprised you didn’t try to get help." he says then take a sip of what little tea is left in his glass. “Yeah…it’s kind of funny thinking back on that. I have no idea why I didn’t try to get help sooner."

“Sooner? So, you tried? Is that what you were trying to do when you were just standing still right before you passed out?" he asks. “Yeah, I was actually. But by that time I didn’t have enough strength to - wait, you were in the lobby when I passed out?" I asked. If he was, why didn’t he help me if he knew something was wrong.

He gives me a strange look. “Umm…yeah, of course I was. Why is that so shocking?" I give him the same look and say, “Because, if you could tell something was wrong with me, why didn’t you help me? Or tell someone? Or…something?"

He begins to laugh. “Ok. Now I understand. Apparently nobody told you." Now I am officially confused. “Nobody told me what!?" I ask. “Megan, how do you think you got to the nurse?" he asks still laughing a bit. Probably because of the look of confusion on my face right now.
Anyway, now that I think about it..I actually have no idea how I got to the nurse. I haven’t even thought about it. Finally, I reply, “I have no idea."

“Well, I’ll tell you. I was in the lobby about…a meter away (three feet) when I noticed you standing there. When I thought something might be wrong, I began to walk over to you. When I was just a few steps away, you began to look like you were about to pass out. I then walked faster and got there just in time to catch you before you hit your head on the ground. I knew you would need to go to the nurse, so I went ahead and picked you up. Some teacher walked up to me and offered to help, but I insisted I carry you." he ends his story with a giant smile on his face.

Wow. Ok. So. I am a bit shocked by this. “You’re welcome, by the way." he says as he continues to smile. Before I know it I’m hugging him. “Thank you." I say. He hugs me back then replied genuinely, “You’re welcome, Megan."

Once we part from the hug, I look over at the clock and see that it is already 8:37. “Wow…I guess I better go." Harry says. “Yeah…my mom will probably be here soon. Plus your parents are probably wanting you home as well."

We go downstairs and stop right at the door. “Thanks for letting me hang out here. And for the pizza." he says. I glance down at the ground and fidget with my hair. “No problem." I expect for him to be reaching for the door, but instead when I look up, I see that he is just standing there looking at me. I continue to look back as the space between us becomes smaller.

Is he about to…are we about to…it sure seems like it. My heart begins beating fast again and I start to panic. “Oh my gosh, I think I heard my moms car!" I blurt out suddenly. Harry jumps a bit by my randomness but quickly says, “Oh…really? I didn’t hear anything. But I mean…even if she isn’t here yet, I should probably get going. Wouldn’t want to run into her on my way down the drive way." And with that, he is immediately out the door.

I was not given a chance to say anything else. No official goodbye or see you later. No hug. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I slowly walk upstairs and change into my pajamas. I am tired, but first I take all of the dishes and glasses and clean them downstairs. And by clean, I mean put in the dishwasher. Afterwards, I do everything else I need to get ready for sleep then finally flop down on my bed with a sigh.

I have four pillows, but the one I grab to lay on is the one Harry mainly used. I bury my face in it and let out an even heavier sigh which then leads to a quietly muffled scream.

I am so stupid. Why am I so stupid?