One Life, Live It

Day 4: 3:28 PM

*Kariann’s POV*

I didn’t want to see him. Yes, I was embarrassed. I mean, come on! We fucked each other! I fucked Harry Styles. I didn’t even know how to react to that. Because not only could I not believe that simple truth, but I couldn’t remember. I hated myself.

I heard a small knock on my door. I forced myself to stay silent. After a brief moment of me ignoring the person at the door, I heard it open. I buried my face in my pillow, refusing to show my face. I could hear the light footsteps as the intruder came over. If it was any of the girls, they’d climb on the bed and make themselves comfortable, whoever was standing – which I was pretty sure I had a clear idea who it was – they stood by the edge, staring holes in the back of my head.

Actually, maybe not because I peeked from under my hair. Harry Style’s eyes were actually travelling down, resting on my ass. Oh, my God, was he seriously checking me out!? I stared at him for a moment. I could see it in his eyes, the lust. The look in his eyes was making me uncomfortable. I jumped up from where I was lying to put myself on a sitting position, crossing my legs.

“What do you want?” I asked him, refusing to look at him.

He didn’t say anything. He was being hesitant. I looked over finally. His lips were pulled into his mouth and seeing me look at him, he released them, licking his lips. I felt myself staring at them. They soon travelled up to the curls that wrapped around his head perfectly. Every detail seemed to make an imprint in my mind. I soon rested my eyes with his green orbs, bright against the sunlight coming from the window.

I forced my opened mouth closed. Holy shit, was I really getting turned on just by looking at him. I cleared my throat, quickly looking away. “I… I honestly don’t know what to say.” He finally said.

I felt myself swallow again. In my mind, I was screaming at myself. I let out an agitated sigh as I stood up. I was angry at myself. Whatever happened last night should have never happened. I shouldn’t have trusted Abbi nor Bonnie with my drink.

“Listen,” I started as I wasn’t sure in what to do about my hand motions, so I crossed my arms. “Let’s forget about whatever the hell happened last night, okay? I was drunk, but even so… Anyways, it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

I was avoiding his gaze, so I settled with staring at the floor, so I didn’t even know he was walking towards me until I saw his feet. I blinked, looking up, seeing how close he was. He wasn’t too close actually, probably a few feet away from where I was standing, but still, close enough for me to feel his presence. My gaze met with his. “It was just a one night thing, so let’s move on from it.” I finished.

I thought Harry Styles was the type to let a girl have her space when she wanted it. Maybe he has been hanging around his fans for too long because he reached up, a finger lightly tracing my jaw line. I felt myself swallow as his soft touch burned my skin and made shivers go down my spine. He seemed to ignore everything I said earlier, because he started to speak. “I just… I’ve never met a girl like you before… I just want to know who you are…”

His hand cupped my neck before I watched his eyes travel over, lingering on the other side of my neck. His hand was hot and I could see the satisfied smirk on his face as he started to lean his lips toward my neck. I didn’t pull away. Maybe part of me was curious in what he was going to do, how far he was willing the take us a second time. I felt his lips rest gently on my neck as his other hand rested on my waist.

He was being really gentle, and for some reason, I wanted him to be a little rougher. Well shit, I was getting turned on by the little notion of him kissing my neck. Nobody’s done that before, at least not in this short amount of time. Unfortunately his lips left my neck as he pulled his face up to meet with my eyes. Though I could see the burning desire in them, he was doing his best to stay calm and not… how should I put this… throw me on the bed and perhaps give me a memory I’d have to kill myself to forget.

Okay, I think my mind was starting to slowly forget that this was Harry Styles we were talking about. He was known for his little one night stands. I was Kariann Young, definitely a nobody compared to him. I was just a girl who wanted to start a film career and have fun along the way. Harry Styles was a popstar in a boy band. One Direction at that. He could have any girl he wanted, cougar or not, but he was here. I could tell he wanted me.

And I knew I wanted him, I couldn’t deny that. This boy was good about getting a girl riled up. I was usually pretty content when I was sober: normal, half-decent, always yelling at my friends to settle down. I was the mother of my group, always trying to be the responsible one and keep them lined out. Why did I have to get drunk the night before? We were barely having a conversation with each other. Like right now, we were lost into each other’s eyes, wondering who would be the first to latch out and start sucking face.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t believe I was doing this either way. I reached up and pulled his face down onto mine. He didn’t hesitate for a second before he let his mouth move against my own. What was this boy doing to me? I’ve never acted out on my own desires before… Ah, fuck, who cares. I was making out with Harry the mother-fucking Styles here. That’s gotta count for something.

Then I remembered.

Well, I remembered what I couldn’t remember.

And I wanted to remember.

Did that make any sense? Somehow I felt that this boy brought a night into my life that was very satisfying, probably the best night anyone could ever have. I wouldn’t be surprised. He was pretty experienced. He had to be good. I knew if I didn’t let it off now, we would both end up reliving that night before, both sober and wide awake.

But I didn’t want him to stop. It just felt so good the way he was kissing on me. Especially on my neck. Yeah, if he hasn’t caught on, that was my weak spot. He was on top of me on the bed, hands travelling up and down on my body and lips wherever they could go. His touch made me want more, it intoxicated me in a lust I never thought I’d ever have…

I knew it had to stop, and I regretted whenever I did it, but I rolled him over to where I was on top of him. We were both breathing heavily and I could see the small confusion on his face as I wasn’t doing anything. I let my leg slide down the side of the bed and got off of him. “I… I’m sorry, but I think you need to leave.”

I dared not to look at him as he jumped off the bed. I did watch his figure however walk over to grab the shirt that was on the floor. Yeah, his shirt was the only piece of clothing that got thrown off. I fixed the tank top I was wearing to where I was covered up better. He threw it on over his head, quickly putting it on. “What’s… your name?” I heard him ask.

I felt a snort escape my throat. “All of this happening and now you want to know?”

He offered a small smile. “It was originally the reason why I came over in the first place, but seeing how you pretty much threw yourself on me-“

“Alright! Alright!” I said, exasperated. “It’s Kariann.”

“Kariann…” He let the sound of my name go through his lips. His eyes rested on me one last time before grinning. “See you around.”

He opened my bedroom door, seeing himself out. I let out a huge breath before settling down on my bed. Oh, my God, how was I going to live with myself? I was never going to be able to kiss another boy again without thinking of him.

Curse you, Harry Styles.

Notes