Bonfire
December '11
December 2011
It’s four AM; I’m wide-awake thinking of my boy who’s out exploring the world right now. I’ve never been more excited yet upset at the same time. I love that Harry gets to live his wildest dream now – but I hate how I empty I feel when he’s not around.
The notes he wrote for me during his X-Factor bootcamp are what get me through the toughest nights; although some are sad and depressing they always manage to put a smile on my face. Whenever my eyes roll over those curly letters, deeply pressed into the thin paper something inside of me just feels right at home. A part of Harry is with me and I’m whole again.
I’ve known Harry for about eleven months now; we’ve been going out five of them. Our relationship didn’t get the best start with Harry, almost immediately, leaving for X-Factor but we managed to make it through. Long phone calls, tight hugs and passionate kisses are what got us through those rough first couple of months.
They always say the first three months are the hardest – once you make it through those, you can make it through anything. We spent our first three months mostly apart and the two that came after that didn’t get any better. Harry and I have spent more time apart than together, but it’s okay – he’s working on his dreams and I’m supportive of that.
A tear slips from my cheek, onto the paper. I don’t want to lose these precious notes he wrote me. I rub my sleeve over the wet paper, pulling slight tears in the fragile fabric. “No, no, no no…” I mumble to myself, trying to hold back the tears that have formed in my eyes. When they find their way down my cheeks too, I throw the scrapbook with his notes off my bed. “Damn it… I miss you.” I cry, rubbing my sleeves over my tired eyes.
I reach for my phone, roughly pulling it out of its charger and quickly find Harry in my contacts. My heart skips a beat when it rings for the first time, by the third tone my heart has caved in and I’m sobbing on the phone. ”Harry.”, it sounds through the small speakers.
I sigh loudly, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “Hey… I just wanted to say that… I miss you… and I can’t wait ‘till you’re home, Haz. I still like you.” I manage to stay strong; I always stay strong for Harry. I don’t want him to feel bad for living his dream.
I drop the phone onto my lap, resting my forehead on my knees. I gasp for air in between the sobs. “God, why am I so weak…” I mumble to myself.
I gasp loudly when I notice the screen of my phone lit up; the call to Harry still going. “No… not again, no!” I complain, quickly pressing the red button.
”Ignore that voicemail, it’s just me snoring… dialed you in my sleep, I guess I miss you after all ;) x” I wait anxiously for the text to be delivered before turning my phone off and burying my face into my pillow.
Harry’s point of view
I haven’t been home much ever since I entered the X-Factor competition; it literally threw my whole life around. I left family, friends and an amazing girlfriend behind to chase my dreams.
It’s not easy to do. I’m putting my whole life on the line for something that might not even last. The music industry isn’t a stable environment; I could be out of work any day. I’m constantly depending on people to buy my music and keep asking for more and the sense of insecurity that brings along for me is extremely hard to handle.
“If I styled your hair, would you beat me up?” Niall asks, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. I look up at him and raise my left eyebrow, giving him “the” look.
I drop my eyebrow and shake my head, laughing slightly. “Nope.” I reply, popping the ‘p’. “I’d cry.” We both laugh at my love for my hair.
“Guys, time to get ready for another interview.” We all get up, following our bodyguards. The moment we step outside, the air fills with screams coming from hysterical teenage girls – all of them throwing their hands out, trying to touch either one of us.
People literally throwing themselves at you is not something you get used to. It is flattering from time to time but then there are always the ones with the mean comments ruining any fun you could possibly find in thousands of girls loving you.
After the interview, the guys and I went out for a couple of drinks. Even though we’re underage still, we manage to get served wherever we go. Needless to say we all had a very good time.
Since I don’t get much time to check my phone, I usually tend to forget to check it even when it’s just sitting in my pocket. At most events I have to hand it over to someone because it might cause disruption or distraction. They always find a reason for us to hand in our phones, I guess they have a point – this is our job. You just can’t use your phone at work. The difference with my job and someone else’s is that mine keeps me away from home 300 days out of the year.
A smile tugs on my lips, immediately opening my sleepy eyes as I see Maegan’s name appear on the screen. One missed call and one text message from Maegan, that’s all that matters.
”Ignore that voicemail, it’s just me snoring… dialed you in my sleep, I guess I miss you after all ;) x” She always plays it off so easy but I know she misses me as much as I miss her.
”Perfect, that way I can now fall asleep pretending you’re right here next to me! I like you, as far as missing you goes… meh :) xxx”
It’s four AM; I’m wide-awake thinking of my boy who’s out exploring the world right now. I’ve never been more excited yet upset at the same time. I love that Harry gets to live his wildest dream now – but I hate how I empty I feel when he’s not around.
The notes he wrote for me during his X-Factor bootcamp are what get me through the toughest nights; although some are sad and depressing they always manage to put a smile on my face. Whenever my eyes roll over those curly letters, deeply pressed into the thin paper something inside of me just feels right at home. A part of Harry is with me and I’m whole again.
I’ve known Harry for about eleven months now; we’ve been going out five of them. Our relationship didn’t get the best start with Harry, almost immediately, leaving for X-Factor but we managed to make it through. Long phone calls, tight hugs and passionate kisses are what got us through those rough first couple of months.
They always say the first three months are the hardest – once you make it through those, you can make it through anything. We spent our first three months mostly apart and the two that came after that didn’t get any better. Harry and I have spent more time apart than together, but it’s okay – he’s working on his dreams and I’m supportive of that.
A tear slips from my cheek, onto the paper. I don’t want to lose these precious notes he wrote me. I rub my sleeve over the wet paper, pulling slight tears in the fragile fabric. “No, no, no no…” I mumble to myself, trying to hold back the tears that have formed in my eyes. When they find their way down my cheeks too, I throw the scrapbook with his notes off my bed. “Damn it… I miss you.” I cry, rubbing my sleeves over my tired eyes.
I reach for my phone, roughly pulling it out of its charger and quickly find Harry in my contacts. My heart skips a beat when it rings for the first time, by the third tone my heart has caved in and I’m sobbing on the phone. ”Harry.”, it sounds through the small speakers.
I sigh loudly, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “Hey… I just wanted to say that… I miss you… and I can’t wait ‘till you’re home, Haz. I still like you.” I manage to stay strong; I always stay strong for Harry. I don’t want him to feel bad for living his dream.
I drop the phone onto my lap, resting my forehead on my knees. I gasp for air in between the sobs. “God, why am I so weak…” I mumble to myself.
I gasp loudly when I notice the screen of my phone lit up; the call to Harry still going. “No… not again, no!” I complain, quickly pressing the red button.
”Ignore that voicemail, it’s just me snoring… dialed you in my sleep, I guess I miss you after all ;) x” I wait anxiously for the text to be delivered before turning my phone off and burying my face into my pillow.
Harry’s point of view
I haven’t been home much ever since I entered the X-Factor competition; it literally threw my whole life around. I left family, friends and an amazing girlfriend behind to chase my dreams.
It’s not easy to do. I’m putting my whole life on the line for something that might not even last. The music industry isn’t a stable environment; I could be out of work any day. I’m constantly depending on people to buy my music and keep asking for more and the sense of insecurity that brings along for me is extremely hard to handle.
“If I styled your hair, would you beat me up?” Niall asks, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. I look up at him and raise my left eyebrow, giving him “the” look.
I drop my eyebrow and shake my head, laughing slightly. “Nope.” I reply, popping the ‘p’. “I’d cry.” We both laugh at my love for my hair.
“Guys, time to get ready for another interview.” We all get up, following our bodyguards. The moment we step outside, the air fills with screams coming from hysterical teenage girls – all of them throwing their hands out, trying to touch either one of us.
People literally throwing themselves at you is not something you get used to. It is flattering from time to time but then there are always the ones with the mean comments ruining any fun you could possibly find in thousands of girls loving you.
After the interview, the guys and I went out for a couple of drinks. Even though we’re underage still, we manage to get served wherever we go. Needless to say we all had a very good time.
Since I don’t get much time to check my phone, I usually tend to forget to check it even when it’s just sitting in my pocket. At most events I have to hand it over to someone because it might cause disruption or distraction. They always find a reason for us to hand in our phones, I guess they have a point – this is our job. You just can’t use your phone at work. The difference with my job and someone else’s is that mine keeps me away from home 300 days out of the year.
A smile tugs on my lips, immediately opening my sleepy eyes as I see Maegan’s name appear on the screen. One missed call and one text message from Maegan, that’s all that matters.
”Ignore that voicemail, it’s just me snoring… dialed you in my sleep, I guess I miss you after all ;) x” She always plays it off so easy but I know she misses me as much as I miss her.
”Perfect, that way I can now fall asleep pretending you’re right here next to me! I like you, as far as missing you goes… meh :) xxx”
Notes
Feedback would be nice!In the next chapter you'll get to know the meaning behind the title.
11/18/13