I laid in my bed and I hugged my pillow tight. I didn't want Niall as a friend. I wanted to be something more. At least I can still be close to him. We can become close and then he could fall for me. My heart lightened and my face brightened with these thoughts. I can do this.
**
My phones rings and I smile as I see the screen. " Hey Niall." " Hey. So you do know what today is right?", he asked. " Of course we've been friends for three years and today is our 4th year anniversary." " You betcha so today I thought I should take my best friend Andrea out with me to hang out. Do you think she'll love that?" " I think she will. Very much," I replied giggling at his silliness. He chuckles. " Okay. I'll be at your house in around 20 min. You better be ready Andrea." I laugh. " Don't worry. I will." ** The door bell rings and I do one last inspection of myself in the mirror before heading down. " Mom! I'm leaving with Niall," I scream before opening the door and leaving with Niall. " Well, don't you look way too lovely to be hanging out with this bum." I blush and giggle. " I think we're equally right for each other," I respond. He smiles. " The reason why we're friends right?" he says. " Right," I respond. My heart returning to its normal rate after realizing he didn't understand what I really meant by that. We went to eat to a sushi place and then we hit the park and stayed there till night time. " Andrea?" " Yes?" " I need to tell you something." My heart began to race faster and I could feel the that tingling in my stomach. Has he finally realized that I love him as more than a friend? Oh gosh I really hope so! " What is it?", I asked with maybe a little too much excitement. " So there's this girl that I've met and we've become really cool with one another and I think I like her and so I want to ask her out but maybe she doesn't feel the same way because she only sees as friends," he tells me. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. My heart beating faster and faster uncontrollable. That girl is me! I can't believe it! "Who's the girl?" I asked crossing my fingers. " She's a cousin of one of my buddies from the soccer team." I felt numb and suffocated. I could hear the screams of my hearts pain in my head. She wasn't me. He kept talking. " She's just so gorgeous. Her tan fits her perfectly and her round light green eyes remind me of emeralds. I love her long silky hair and even though I'm not the kind of guy to focus in this but her body is just so slim and she has such a nice name. Kate. She's model material," he said. He sounded so love struck. Could that be it? Was he in love? Just the thought of it made my stomach churn. " She sounds nice," I croaked trying my best to hide the tears emerging from the corner of my eyes. " I know. She's just so.....", he trails off as I drown in my thoughts. My heart begins to ache even more and I cant control my tears. They slowly slide down my face and I begin to sniffle. " Are you okay," he asks. " It's just allergies. They're giving me a head ache. Can you take me home?" " Yeah sure," he replies with a little hint of disbelief in his voice. When we arrived at my house, he hugged me and kissed my cheek. I tried to pretend just for a while that it was more than just a friendly gesture but it was impossible. " Are you sure you're okay? The whole Kate thing isn't the really reason behind your allergies right?" " Of course not. I only want the best for you Niall," I say forcing a smile on to my face. He smiles. " That's why I love you." He gives me one more hug before leaving. I slowly walk upstairs to my room. I laid down on my bed and I hugged my pillow tight soaking it with my tears. My chest violently shook and I was sobbing with no control. Great this is just great. Now Kate is probably going to be his lover and he will be hers. Why can't he see that I love him? I'll never compare to Kate. She's "model material" and me. I'm just scum material. I have braces. I'm pale. I don't have the slimmest stomach or legs. My hair looks like a hair ball that a cat pukes. And I can't fix that. I'll never be able to be perfect and for that very reason I'll never have Niall.