Is This True Love or Have I Gone Mad?

"It's not Louis, it's the fact that I won't see you again. How can I be in a relationship if I can't hug you and tell you that it'll be okay?" I ask, tearing up.

"You're right, I'm just paranoid." Niall says getting up from his seat to hug me.

I grasp him to me, feeling his abs through his shirt. He kisses the top of my head lightly.

~A few hours later~

I left Niall's room a little bit ago. I've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm in love with two men, neither of which am I allowed to be with because the other one will die on the inside everyday by seeing me with his friend. So what am I left to do? Either 'A': Love them both, but leave them and break both their hearts. Both of them will heal, but I won't. 'B': Love one, but not the other, leaving the other in agonizing pain everyday for the rest of their life. Or 'C': Find someone else who could never beat what I feel for them, but 3rd best. They'll both move on and so will I. Just that they'll happily do, I won't.

I lied to one. I feel bad because with Louis, I feel a spark when we kiss, but with Niall, it's just a kiss. But with Niall, I feel happier, with Louis, I feel urges and nervousness and everything I feel with Niall and more. I just want to go home, I don't want love anymore.

I just need some time to be by myself. Not think about love, or boys, or family. Just me, myself, and I.

I turn on the television to Doctor Who.The episode that's on is with the 10th Doctor and Rose.

"Always bring a banana to a party, Rose," The Doctor said.

I laugh then hear a knock on the door. I walk over and look through the peephole. Louis. He has a black hood on and is looking at the floor, but I can tell it's him by the way he's standing and the hair falling from the hood.

I open the door and he looks up at me.

"Well, are you going to invite me in?" He asks

*Louis' POV*

~Earlier before he went to see April~

I sit on my bed contemplating how to make her mine. She's so different from anyone I've ever dated before. I feel happiest around her. I should just wing it and go to her room.

I walk down the hall to her room and hear her laugh through the door. I knock gently not wanting to be too loud.I decided no one would recognize me in a black jacket with the hood up and blue skinny jeans with a white shirt beneath the jacket, I look at the floor waiting for her to answer.

I look up when I hear the door opening. We look at one another for a few seconds.

"Well are you going to invite me in?" I ask.

"Yeah, sorry," She says motioning for me to come in. I walk between the sofa and the coffee table.

*April's POV*

He takes his jacket off to reveal a white shirt beneath. I can see his abs beneath. All I want to do is walk up to him and kiss him.

Since I had left Niall's, I had gotten in a crop top and shorts. The outfit is a grey top and the bottoms are holey.

I look down at my outfit because I noticed he's staring and suddenly feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, is this inappropriate, I could change if you like?" I ask.

"No, you look beautiful in anything. I like what you're wearing, it compliments your curves." He says.

"Thank you," I say, feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

"You told me you love me, is that true?"

"I can't tell you."

"Don't play mind games, April, I can't deal with that right now."

"Louis, I just-"

"April, stop. If you love me, then say so, but I have to know, I don't want anymore games, I love you and I want you, and all I want to do is prove that to you, but I can't if you won't just tell me the fucking truth for once."

"I love you." I say, taking a step away from the door.

"W- what?" he trembles.

"I said 'I love you'. I shouldn't have these stupid feelings for you, but I do, I should love Ni-" I get in before he paces over to me and kisses me. I kiss back feeling sparks fly. I shouldn't do this, but it's the best I've felt.

He slams me against the door, so I pull my legs up around his waist. I break the kiss just to pull his shirt over his head. I immediately go back to his lips, but he pulls away to kiss down my neck.I moan various times before the worst thing that could happen at this moment happened.

Niall. He popped into my head. How would I explain to him that I don't love Louis, if I continue this and we have sex?

I pull my legs down and pulls Louis' head up from my neck.

"I can't,I can't hurt Niall, I love him."

"You told me that you love me. How the hell could you love me, but love him?"

"Because, I love Niall, just not as much or like, or in the same way as I love you."

"So you love me, but like a boyfriend, you love Niall, but like a brother?"

"Yes."

Louis takes his hands off my body to find his shirt. When he finds it, he puts it on, along with a hoody.

"Give me a call anytime you want or need me." Louis says before he opens the door behind me and leaves.

Notes

Sorry it took so long to update, but I should be able to update more now, YAY!!!!!! Anyway, thank you for reading, and comment if you're still there, I don't want to write with no cause. If there's anything I can fix, please comment below, and if you have suggestions for the next chapter, then message me. Thank you all for reading and please comment if you're still there.