LOST AND STILL FINDING(larry stylinson)
I wake with a jolt, I guess I missed some stairs in my dream but sudden realization struck me as I feel two warm hands wrapped around my waist hold me tightly. I feel his rough breaths on my chest as his hair ruffles around on his head. He looks so innocent, though he isn't. I smile as the thoughts from last night enter my head. I lift my head a little as I kiss his hair and rest my head back. I don't want to wake him up, I don't know why, maybe I'm a little scared he would regret doing things he did last night. I don't know maybe he just stands up and leaves. Leaves me alone here like everybody else did. Not that I had many relationships, just one and she left me. I don't if the exactly would happen but there is just one ray of hope, like the sunrays which are entering my room, that he will stay, he will stay like the way he dis when I told him I was gay.
Oh my god. I don't even know if he is gay, oh shit he is straight and I kissed him and now he's definitely gonna be so angry and so furious at me he's definitly gonna leave.
I hear him groan a little in his sleep as his head moves from my chest to the side on the bed. His face coming into full view, I guess my sudden speeding of breath made him do that.
I silently try to move from his grip as I pick his hand from my waist and put it slowly at the side. He doesn't move but shifts a little at the loss of touch.
I step down and walk out of the room to the balcony and get some fresh air.
I push ally hair back as I yawn still wanting some more sleep but yesterday night gave me the most silent sleeps of all the nights I've spent here, otherwise its always a horrific nightmare I one up to. But today I woke up to Louis, I hope I can call him my Louis.
"Did you sleep well?" I hear him ask from behind me as he entered the balcony yawning. He sounds so delicious.
"Yeah" I admit, "one of my best sleeps of all times" I nod at him.
"Certainly it had to be" he grins.
"I'll make some coffee?" I ask him. "No, I prefer tea" he says still yawning as he didn't care to put his hand on his mouth.
"I'm making black coffee, you'll like it" I say as I walk into the hallway "No I said tea" he disagrees as he yawns again
"It tastes the same though" "Yuck, black coffee tastes yuck" he sticks his tongue out.
"How are you even comparing tea n coffee?" He settles himself on the couch his feet resting on the table in front.
"But I don't have tea right now Lou" I shout from the kitchen.
"What does that even mean?" Louis shouts back, by now he must've slided down on the couch literally lying down. "U heard me" I tell him as I walk out of the kitchen back into the hall
"Don't you try n ruin my new year eve morning, its just 8" he warns me. "Okay get up" I say as I pad my feet across the hallway and start wearing my sneakers. They don't even go with the kind of things I'm wearing, a great tank top and yellow shorts.
"Why?" He asks irritated. Though he gets up.
"Just get up, trying to fix your morning." I say as pit my other sneaker.
"Okay as you say jumbo" he too rushes to the door and wears his vans. "Let's go" I say as we hurriedly leave. -----
By the time we finally reach Louis has asked me questions about how are we celebrating new year.
I don't know I haven't thought about it but I had to answer him that the lads maybe ending up at my house or we might just go to the bar. I don't know I haven't celebrated the past ones.
I park in my car as we get down, me in my shorts and Louis in his pajamas.
"Harry if they don't have tea, I'm fucking punching them, you know that" he cusses as we enter in and find a window seat in the perfect sunny morning.
"They have it don't worry" I calm him down. Why is he always so hyper.
"Good for them" he shrugs I see the waitress coming towards us and she handed us the menu cards.
"Do u keep Yorkshire tea? Or is it only English tea you serve?" He asks the waitress in his most polite tone as he looks up at her. I am pretty sure he intimidated him coz of the way she started to fix her white apron over her white shirt and black pants.
"We keep it sir" she lowly answers him taking back the menu card from him.
"Yeah so one for me and ask him what he wants"
She turns to me, "sir what would you like to order?"
"Coffee, black" I tell her and she smiles like she should be "anything else you would want?"
"Thank you" Louis says and she walks away.
"Is niall and everybody actually coming today?" He asks me slouching back in his chair. "I don't know they didn't call me yet."
"Do that usually call?"
"Noo, umm actually yeah they do but he stopped after I turned down on his offers to go the pub"
"What a loser, why don't you go?" I chuckle at the thought of him calling me a loser.
"I get bored usually with the drinks"
"You could always try the new ones"
"I have a specific taste, I don't change really"
"That's y you get bored"
"So y don't you try something diff?" The waitress is back with our orders and she places them in front of us and walks away.
"I don't want to"
"You're so disgusting, try this" he points towards his tea.
"Are you tryn make me taste that tea, I am not doing it" I scoff
"Just once, you'll like it definitely" he picks up his cup and puts it in front of me.
"Here just once."
"Why? It anyways tastes the same" I shrug
"All the more reason you should taste it coz it does not tastes the same"
"No m not"
"Please, just once, a sip nothing more. U know harry I don't plead so much" he seems to get angry.
"Okay, only one sip" I take down.
I pick it up and take a sip looking right into Louis as he waits for me to say something.
He was right, it doesn't tastes like black coffee definitely and tastes something like tea and mint. Obviously it has to.
"How was it?" His eyes beam.
"Dfntly the same" I lie.
"You're lying!" He narrows his eyes, "I saw that look on your face, u liked it" he continues.
"No I didn't" he knows it anyway. I hand him is tea.
"Never mind I know you're impossible" he rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his tea.
There appears to be a playful smile on his lips as he drinks tea.
"Why are you smiling that bad?" I ask him as I put my coffee mug down.
"I was just remembering my first kiss" he flushes the scene and environment around me tnd to change a little. The sunlight entering and falling on our table making it feel warm and soothing which a mix of louis' flushing cheeks, it just seemed to add into the beautiful scenery in front of my eyes.
"Who was it?"
"I haven't kissed anybody before!" I admit. Yes I had not. He was the first one. Though I had a girlfriend.
There seems to be a smile propping up on Harry's face but he was anxious to know more.
"You said you had a girlfriend?" He moves forward and by the time the waitress had arrived with the bill. Harry pays for the beverages and we
get up to walk out.
"Yeah I said I had one but we never kissed"
"Ohh, that's wierd , what kind of a gf was that?"
"Yeah I know!" We both climb into the car and he starts the ignition,
"actually when we had an official kind of a date, you know when she was like really wanted to move forward with relationship, I told her I was gay"
Suddenly there seemed to be a loss of breath in harry, I don't know there were confusing expressions on his face. You could mix them as expressions of surprise, happiness well relief too.
"What? You're gay?" His eyes seem to pop out
"Yeah" I nod. I haven't been so calm in comfortable all my life about being homo.
"seriously?" He isn't able to take it all in.
"Will you please start the car? You're just wasting all the gas" I remind him.
"Ohh yeah" he hits the accelerator.
"Is that why you cried the first time I kissed you?" He asks hesitatingly. But I don't know why I cried.
"You kissed me on the doorway!" I scowl
"I wasn't planning it anyway" he looks onto the road. "So? You ruined my first kiss!" I grwl again. He literally didn't but anyway.
"Sorry for that Lou" he shrugs. I didn't want him to apologize but its OK.
"Its OK" I look out of the window
"I was scared when I missed you that time" he confesses.
"Why?" I turn to him
"I thought you might leave, people certainly do. Anyway I didn't have your permission" he glances at me and then onto the road.
"You're so insecure all the time"
"Noo..I was just worried about myself" I wanted to laugh at his comment. He saying he was worried about himself when all he does all night is hurt himself. Wow. What a coincidence.
"Don't you say that" I narrow my eyes. "Ohh" he seem.not to understand what I meant.
"It doesn't match"
"Anyway I don't know what you mean" "Shut up!"
"You're so mean!"
"You only think about yourself and that's not nice"
"See you talking to me like this is also not nice!"
"What way? Can't I say what I want to?
"Yes. Always" I hear him sigh as he concentrates into the road for a few minutes
"Can I kiss you?" He asks me still hesitant
"Why would you ask me that?" He pulls into the garage
"Idk, maybe I'm still scared"
"You sound so sad all the time. Always stuck with the bullshit. Try and be happy" I snap
"Will you ever consider my feelings?" He looks sad again as he parks his car beside his other two lambo's.
"Its not about feelings r shit like that, its only about thinking and doing what makes you happy. Just that it" I say to him as we climb out of the car to the elevator.
"Okay then, you want me to be happy?" He looks down at me something evil going inside his head. I can tell he has something going on with that look on his face. The elevator beeps and the doors open. He seems happy to see the elevator empty.
We both step in as I follow him in and he turns to look down at me. That grin growing wider.
The doors close and he walks closer to me as I'm already leaning against the cold metal wall. He puts his hands beside the my face his knee trying to enter between my legs as he has completely pinned me against the cold wall.
"What the hell do you want?" I spit completely surprised by what he's doing.
"You said I should be happy" he leans closer down at my face his curls falling down.
"So?" I ask him my eyebrow raising up.
"I wanted to be happy now"
"Don't you tryna do fifty shades of gray thing with me!!" I spit at him his smirk grows wide. I could feel it.
"You read that book?" He leans down his tongue licking my jaw line.
"Only the kinky things he did with the girl" NY eyes shut as my body starts to heat up, something rushing inside me and twisting and turning in my pit.
"Do you wish somebody to do those things to you?" He bends lower his tongue moving up to my lips continuing the torturous adventure. I seemed to like it.
"Don't try and take me in here!" I say but his lips brush against mine and those words directly enter his mouth. My breath starts to fasten up.
"Its only two floors baby just wait!" He slams his lips onto mine and I enjoy the ride he's taking me to. His hips push into my and I could feel his erection growing against mine. Though the way he called me baby turned me on like hell. "You feel what you do to me?" He whispers as he pulls away the elevator beeping once again to open the doors, and I'm glad there's nobody in standing outside.
I'm still standing in my place where he left me panting and wanting more of him.
He is such a moron, he left me turned on here. He's so bad I walk out of the elevator before it closes.
"You little piece of shit! What did you do?" I scream in the verandah as I see harry entering the apartment. I run to catch up and twist the door knob to enter in and before im even able to take in what just happened harry holds me by my waist his other hand on my cheek as he crashes his lips onto me again and I smile as I passionately kiss him back . his hands from my waist moves to my hips as he lifts me up not breaking our kiss. My hands snake around at the back of his neck as I lean into him kissing him with all I have.
He moans into me as he trips onto the couch by his knees and I fall just above him, the kiss not breaking but getting deep and intense as his tongue swirled all over my mouth.
My breath is fastening and I could fee his heart pounding against my chest as mine did too. Our lips moved in sync as we moaned into each other both wanting more.
But there's a sudden noise of the door knob turning and somebody entering and I immediately roll away from harry falling into the floor and harry getting up straight. This is what happens when you don't lock the door and get busy.
"What the fuck is happening here!" Niall screams as he stands in the doorway watching harry stand up straight his cheeks flushing totally embarrassed and me on the ground trying to take in what just happened.
"Definitely not kissing" harry speaks up as he walks away into the kitchen.
"This means Ms. Laura Collins was right!" He walks forward smiling as I get up from the floor realizing my back had hit the floor real hard.
"What ms Laura Collins?" I ask him totally confused. "See I told you everybody would know!" Harry comes out screaming from the kitchen looking more calmer than before but he was screaming.
"She told me harry had a boyfriend and then I didn't believe her but here I see this! And it's all confirmed!" Niall says smiling at both of us as he takes a seat on the couch. I don't know we've just kissed, what do you even mean by a boyfriend?
"Its nothing like that---" harry begins but niall cuts him off. "U don't have to give me explanations. I kind of knew you ppl would start dating so its ok. I knew you would!" He says so confidently.
I don't know I am at loss of words but harry seems to stand there just staring at niall as niall winked him.
"I have news!" Niall begins again . thank god were not discussing this any longer.
"What kind off?" I ask as I seat myself on the couch my legs up on the table. I feel the rush inside me going down. "You up for the party we have at our club?"
"Yeah obviously! Who would say no" I agree. Dfntly I'm going to the new years eve party.
"Harry would dfntly say no and anyway he's not even invited." He rolls his eyes at him.
"Yeah he's a loser anyway, what time is it?" I can already feel the adrenaline rush inside me. "Starts at 6, be there till 8or something and then we'll stay till 1 or 2. If that is okay with you?"
"Its perfect" I raise my hand for a hi five and returns one back. Harry just stands there listening to us.
"Reach on time otherwise you'll miss the fun"he gets up to walk out and for closes with a thud.
"You seriously accepted his invite?" He looks disappointed.
"Yeah I did. You heard me" I tell him
"You could've not accepted it. I had plans!" He tells me as he takes a seat just in front of me.
"You had plans, I didn't!" I inform him
He takes a deep breath and looks at me,"seriously?" "Yeah. I just did it" I groan as I get up. I'm surely getting irritated. "Huh.." He too stands up to move into his room.
The rest of the day to don't know how it went. At first we were all like good with each other and then suddenly it all turns into a sad conversation and then he tries t be happy by what he does is kissing me senseless in the lift leaving m all panting and then falling on the couch on op of him his tongues do I g all.adventures and now I don't know what made him more upset. Me accepting the invitation, him not being invited(anyway he declines them) me not being here(if by chance he had "plans" of spending the night with me) u never know. Or maybe he has some bloody reason for himself. I don't care. But I should I guess.
By the time I was ready wearing a maroon shirt and my only pair of black jeans it was 7:30 and I was so excited already. I wear my shoes and my watch as I walk out of the room to check on harry.
I reach his door and peep in finding him lying asleep on the bed with the duvet kicked onto the floor his black T-shirt halfway up his back as he lying down on his stomach, his head resting on both his palms.
Though he is not facing me I still can picture his mouth slightly open, maybe he is drooling too. I chuckle at the thought of him lying on me like that.
I choose not to wake him up cz he's already been through a lot lately but I wish I knew the reason why he's going through all this and I wish I could stop all that and give him what he deserves the most. I walk in quietly not to disturb him to the other side of the bed and climb closer to him to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. I hope he does not wake up but he slightly shuffles in his place. AS i walk out of the room my phone vibrates and I check its zayn calling. "Hey zayn!" I whisper
"Hey Louis. I thought maybe if u two were ready I could pick you up coz I was just passing by your house?"
"Yeah ofcrse!" I walk out of the house locking it from outside with the duplicate pair of keys. "I'm on my way downstairs and its only me harry isn't coming!"
"Oh I'm just outside the building!" He hangs up and I hurry down the elevator as the previous thoughts of harry taking me down in the elevator come rushing into my head. There's a smile propping up but I just hide it away co it's really weird for me to be smiling like an idiot in the elevator that too alone. I jog out if he building in front of me appearing a convertible Audi and inside zayn in the drivers seat wearing a denim half jacket with studs on its collar with his hair up in a smooth tidy quid. He does not look like one of those artists who paint really well. He in case looks like people who own a DJ or something.
"Hey mate!" Zayn beams as he leans sideways to open the door for me.
"Hey! You look so great!" I compliment him as I climb into the convertible.
"Thanks. U too" he starts the ignition and we hit the road.
"U know I've always imagined you wearing some loose crisp shirts and khaki pants not these kind of jackets!" I tell him. Seriously he does not look like an artist. "You too thought that?" He looks at me not really surprised.
"Yeah? But what me too?"
"Everybody says that. Like every single person I've ever met since I hit the road of popularity, I thank god for that, u know everybody says my profession does not matchh with my personality.
"Ohh. That's seriously sick. It's true though!" We laugh like mad men. "Look at me I look like I'm going for an interview or something" I nod "No you look fine!" He turns into the parking lot. "Yeah thanks for the comfort"
"Hey btw why didn't harry turn up?"he asks as he parks the car in a vip parking slot.
"He wasn't invited!" I shrug and he anyway wasn't going to attend it" "Seriously why so?" He asks me as we climb out and he hands his keys to the valet.
"Niall didn't invite him and he said he never turns up for these sort of parties and all, so u know..."
"Okay! But its new year buddy, he should've turned up!" He seems annoyed by harry not turning up for the party. I could clearly get by the way he sounds.
"He was anyway sleeping when I got out of the apartment, so anyway I couldn't drag him here"
We walk forward in silence. People around the pub outside in the area, some waiting, some chit chatting, some already wasted and some blabbering around nonsense.
"Why isn't there any sound of music?" I ask coz there were only people and no sign of music.
"Dude I'll have to wait for the first blow" we walk up a few stairs to meet the bouncer guy as he opens the door for us, and there comes the first blow on my face. The loud thumbing sound of rock and electronic music into my ears and strong smell of alcohol in the air mixed with cherry and apples fragrances with dim and bright disco and white blue green n red lights dancing around.
We both walk a narrow lane before opening into a huge hall full with people dancing to weird music. I could feel the adrenaline rushing inside my stomach. It looked so much fun. This is so different. So much different. I haven't ever thought of enjoying such a night before, though I have been to pubs and all.
"C'mon in, I'll get you to a safer place" zayn shouts into my ear trying to sound louder than the music. He holds my wrists and we hurry up between the crowd swirling through the way as we enter a larger hall with louder music and brighter fancy lights, with niall and liam enjoying with some other people supposing they are there friends. Some standing and seated and drinking and some talking.
Seated on huge red velvet sofas I am guessing in my head this is the VIP section of the pub, with drinks settled on the center table.
"Guys watch out who we have here" zayn announces and everybody's attention is on me. Oh my god . what the fuck. Y is everybody looking at me? I feel like a loser coz of this shirt I wore and people here are in leather jackets and expensive shoes.
Niall liam stand up and greet me pulling me into a tight hug. They
smell of alcohol not strong but they do. "Welcome Louis you'll dfntly enjoy here!" Liam says as he tells me to take a seat.
"Glad you didn't turn out like harry" niall says as he moves across me as I take my seat. Everybody looks nice and drunk
It's not like I feel too much awkward or something but a little for sure.
"Hi! I'm Charlotte, u can call me char?" He gestures me for a handshake and I shake it. "Louis Tomlinson, it was nice too meet you" I say to the girl with blonde hair like Niall's and she was wearing some sort of a crop top studded with sequences all over and a high waisted pant.
"Jude Andrews" another guys shakes his hands with me. He had a dark brown mop of hair somewhat like Harry's but not really similar to his. U cud tell the little difference. Everybody looked similar, all dressed up perfectly for the new year occasion. Today I had met at least 15 new people all of them whose name sounded similar. Its going to be a hard time remembering and recognizing them.
Soon the party took its turn. In no time I was on my toes jumping with these new people all drunk. The tunes got me high and I just swirling around.
The party had to be as expected. Full of thrill and enjoyment. And I was loving it. Dancing like a madman on the floor but it was all original. I didn't drink, or that I couldn't. I was in my complete senses. Though the whole place was smelling badly of alcohol and juices and sweat, mine too mixed in them.
After a while everything got mixed up. I didn't know which place I was standing coz nobody whom I knew or just got introduced was in view.
Sorry for a late update! I was busy with my exams. Sorry guys! There's a lot of more fun to this fix. Please keep reading. Love you guys!