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o.k. so just givin' u tips
1:make the story more suspensful.
2:get into more details
3:be more descriptive
4:explain more,dont repeat details,give a little twist at the end
5:finish off the chapter with the reader wanting to know more of whats going to happen and getting them excited 4 ur next update

i hope it goes well for you(; update soon!(:

This is good so far :)