Honest Feedback for My First Fanfic

Hey guys! Im new and looking for some honest feedback on my first fanfic!
It's called Escape. It's a Liam story.
Here is the link : http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/34225/Escape/
If you want me to read your stories in return I would be happy too! When you read it please comment your honest opinion. I can handle it I promise I only want to become a better writer... :)

@BekkaRae
I really enjoyed what I read. It was clear, concise and really well written! To be honest I can't give any comment apart from your writing will improve with more writing. Plus; I and a whole lot of others are a sucker for a good Liam story :) x

@pippalove
Thanks for the feedback :) Also if you know any of those suckers you should tell them to check it out!!

accidently posted this ignore this accidental bump

Hey I posted chapter 2 for this fic if anyone wants to give me some feedback :)

@BekkaRae
I got the update and checked it out :) Everything's going sweet, just be careful of the tense you use and make sure you stick with it to create consistency. After re-reading the chapter here's an example:

Finally we arrived at 553 Pine St, which was on the coast of lake Michigan. Kayla let her bright green eyes steal a glance at the house nextdoor. Her Great Aunt Sheryl had lived there, but she passed on 3 months ago. They postponed the memorial service until the summer so Kayla could be there, even though they allready scattered her ashes in the lake.

You've gone from first person past tense 'we' (the bold part) and then you jump to using third person (the italic part) It's not huge.. but noticing that you're jumping from one to the other (i have a bad habit of it to and keep having to correct myself) will make you an even better writer xo :)