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@tkstylist
Well, Dameon died from cancer, which was shitty considering now Lauren's married and my mother and father don't even care about us. My mother was out partying when he died! Partying! Did she not know that he was dying? Honestly, I'm not even sure she realized what killed him because she's such a stupid person and I hate her. I'm so upset. Lauren flew in from Hawaii to attend his funeral. I'm almost 99% sure my parents came for pity. Fuck them.
I was so angry driving home. Lauren offered to, but I was so, so angry.
Long story short: I got slammed into by a car when left-turning.
I crushed my tailbone and some other vertebrae in my spine and now I literally cannot feel my legs.
I'm so sorry for having to rant here, there's no where else besides places that hold stupid memories.
Okay I feel like some kind of weak china doll that will break if you touch me but ... Oh here goes.
I guess I was becoming annoying at the hospital (no I was discharged) but they plopped me into a wheelchair and got Lauren to take me home. I'm bored, tired, and wanting hospital food because everything in the fridge is too ... flavourful.
That's the legit first time I've wanted bland food.
I'm feeling a little numb. Physically and mentally, just because.
My legs — okay, they don't work and never ever will again.
Dameon — he died from cancer about a month ago and I'm not kidding when I say I still feel like I betrayed him. I'm supposed to say my prayers before he dies but I really didn't get to.
Being in the hospital for the last couple months have been crazy torture. I've been dosed with morphine more than I really need to be. Depression is taking its toll. I haven't cut for the past six years but I'm not sure if I can hold back but I'm scared because Lauren doesn't like it when I cut and I'm afraid she will see ...
And sure, hate me, but I still haven't told Bryant yet. I've shut down my phone and refuses to unlock it.
Sorry for the rant, just really hating life.
5/6/16