Feedback On My Story Please? Honest People Please!

Hey guys, I just started my story Dreamer, and I was hoping on getting some good, honest feedback and thoughts on it. If you could, please check it out. Please comment on it, or reply to this, on how it is.
I would love if some one would give their 100% honest opinions on it. Just tell me how its going, what I need to do to change or fix it. Just please, I really want my first one to be good and to be popular.. SO PLEASE :)

Dreamer
I can only see her in my dreams..
Soundtrack Cover Below

I just added a new chapter,

Please people :)

@ALoveSickDirectioner
Lovely! Could you let me know (I think it might be just my net stuffing up) but does your story work in safari? I got an update notification but I can read anything :(

@theodoramae.
Like do you mean Apple Safari? The browser?

@ALoveSickDirectioner
Don't worry. Internet was just being majorly glitchy :(
off to read it now x

@theodoramae.

okay its fine! And if you like my writting, I'm going to do a new story soon so just private message me if you want to know about it. :)